Like it or not, ghosting is always going to be a thing . When you first meet and date someone, you might decide that they aren’t for you, and believe that cutting communication is the easiest way to handle things. Or it could be out of fear for your own safety.
Women of Reddit shared the reasons why they ghosted someone . Like it or hate it, sometimes it just has to be done.
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“I met a guy at a bar once. He seemed like a nice guy and we exchanged numbers.” – imvital
“The following week, he asked me out. I told him I couldn’t that night, but I was free tomorrow.”
“Why? He asked. I told him I had a funeral tomorrow morning and just didn’t feel like going out.”
“‘What time is the funeral?’ he said. ‘I won’t stay too long, please I really want to see you…’
“He wouldn’t take no for an answer, and to me that is a HUGE red flag. I ghosted him after that.”
“Went out on a coffee date with a guy.” – salty-MA-student
“Went out on a coffee date with a guy. He admitted that he placed a GPS tracker in his exes car to track her without her knowledge.
“Immediately no.”
I’d be out there checking my own car, just in case.
“Criticizing you, period. In the first few interactions criticism comes off very badly.” – BenevolentGodzilla
“I ghosted a guy last week because I said ‘haha’ at the beginning of a message during a conversation and he said ‘just say lol.'”
“He already had one strike and this just sounded so controlling.”
“Why does is matter how I ‘laugh’ in a message, and why does he feel he gets to tell me to change it? So I just noped out. My patience is thin these days.”
“Back when I worked night shift at the hospital.” – palebluedot_resident
“Guy I was newly dating wanted to hangout that night before my shift, around 5pm. I tried to explain that I would be sleeping until my shift, and that 5pm was like 5am to me and I did NOT want to hang out.”
“He didn’t get it.”
“He proceeded to ignore my wishes and let himself into my apartment to ‘surprise’ me by tickling my feet while I slept. I definitely ghosted him, and also changed the locks.”
If someone doesn’t understand boundaries, then maybe they’ll understand being ghosted.
“Assumptions. They make you seem really controlling.” – canyoupassthecorn
“‘I bet you only like guys who go to the gym. You’re probably one of those people who orders appetizers. You probably only go to the club on the weekend. You probably believe in astrology.’
“Context matters, but to just come out and say some things makes me second-guess myself, which is the first step to controlling my behavior.”
“When they only ever talk abt themselves. And they don’t even realize.” – tintaapple
A commenter added, “This is so annoyingly common, people wonder why they can’t make friends but don’t show any interest in other people.” It’s amazing how some people can care about themselves to that extent.
“Telling me you like me better with X or you’re glad I don’t do Y like some girls.” – Head_Lifeguard3999
“Complimenting me by putting others down is a no for me dog.”
I have no idea if men think this is endearing, or if they really mean to put other girls down.
“I am 60 and went out with a man who is my age. One would think that conversation would be easy when you are a mature, experienced adult.” – amoodymermaid
“Nope. Didn’t ask me a single question about myself. Didn’t try to engage me on any sort of exchange, but definitely regaled me with his past sexual experiences. I made a hasty, unapologetic exit. Ghosted him. On the upside, I did find a good ice cream place.”
“When they only compliment you and don’t let the conversation flow.” – serendipia03
“Example -You have the most beautiful smile -thank you you too. How’s your day? -you look sexy in that pic -haha thanks, I see you like playing the guitar, how long have you been playing -You eyes are like….”
I call that being pushy.
“Any hint of violent tendencies or general anger management issues.” – Shocking-1
“Immediate block, not dealing with that. If I feel threatened, your feelings about being ghosted do not supersede mine of feeling safe.”
Ghosting somebody because they make you feel endangered? Valid.
“When they come on strong sexually from the jump.” – crospingtonfrotz
“Years ago when I was on tinder men would message asking if they’d correctly guessed my bra size before even saying hi. Or they’d ask my favourite sex position, or if I swallow, or if I’m flexible, or if I thought I could handle their [expletive].”
“Like Jesus Christ what would compel anyone to respond to messages like that??”
“From someone apparently 1km away from me? Of course I’m ghosting. And blocking. And reporting.”
One day, the men who do this will realize no one likes it. Hopefully.
“Being dismissive of creepy behavior among their friends.” – TheGrumbleFloof
“I recently separated and went out with some girlfriends when I met a seemingly decent guy who shared my nerdy interests. He was out with his friends too, and one of his buddies crossed several lines with mine.”
“The Creepoid snatched my friend’s phone and immediately started messing with her settings/contacts, then he stole her drink before offering her another.”
“When I mentioned this to the guy I was talking to, he just brushed it off like… ‘yeah, he’s just like that.’ Ok then, we can’t hang out unless everyone feels safe. Bye.”
“When they post vitriol because I couldn’t answer messages for approximately 5 hours because I’M AT WORK.” – ZampyZero
“I cannot have my phone on me. One guy messaged me 20 times over the span of like four hours, starting with hey what’s up, to what the [expletive]? Why won’t you answer me?””
“To finally ending on something along the lines of “well you’re an ugly [expletive expletive], I hope you die…”
“Like no [expletive] thank you. I had talked to him for about a day before and told him I would be unavailable from 1-9 because of work.”
“When you barely know them and they just want to rant to you and use you as an emotional sounding board.” – RatChains
It’s one thing to talk about your issues with friends, family, and a close partner (or better yet, a therapist), but don’t do this to someone you barely know (unless they’re your therapist).
