Being in a relationship during the holidays is a joyous time.
You have someone to do cute things with, like go skating , sit around a warm fire, or cuddle up and watch Hallmark movies . It also means that your aunt can’t ask you for the millionth time why you’re still single (hooray!).
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But what if your boyfriend refuses to spend Christmas with you? That’s the current reality facing one woman.
This woman took her dilemma to the r/relationship_advice community on Reddit.
As the name says, people anonymously post their relationship struggles and allow people to weigh in and offer their advice. She began by explaining that she’s been friends with her boyfriend since the spring of 2020.
They became official and moved in together in February 2022.
With the holidays coming up, the woman has started to figure out her plans. For context, her family lives in another province and she recently got back from visiting them.
With that being the case, she assumed that she would spend the holidays with my partner and his family this year.
“I am close with them and have stayed with them several times for extended periods, his mother considers me like a daughter,” she wrote.
But when she mentioned this idea to him, he shot her down.
He “said that he would prefer to spend Christmas alone with his family. To be fair, they are really close, so it wasn’t a huge surprise, but it was still hurtful.”
This has left the woman in a sad bind.
“I may end up spending the holidays alone for the second year in a row (last year it was due to Covid),” she wrote. Instead of being compassionate, her boyfriend shrugged off her valid concerns.
“I know he thinks it would make the most sense for me to go home to my family, but I can’t afford it,” she added.
“And from my perspective, he would be welcome to join my family for the holidays if the roles were reversed.”
“It feels like I am not as important to him as he is to me,” she continued, adding, “is this a fair assumption to make?”
Reddit wasted no time in dishing out their advice. “Instead of assuming, why not communicate with him?” one suggested.
They suggested that she say this: “I’m honestly feeling pretty hurt and disappointed that you don’t want me to join you for Christmas. Can you help me understand why you feel that way?”
Helpful advice, sure, but others had opinions (and not good ones) about the boyfriend instead.
“Sorry, you are living together and he doesn’t want to spend Christmas together.. oh h**l no. Do they even know about you?” one Redditor asked.
Another suggested that he might have an “ex back home or a girl he’s ‘really good friends.'”
That would definitely make sense.
“H**l no. My husband and I have made it our mission to make sure the people in our sphere do NOT spend the holiday alone,” a third wrote. “Definitely talk to him about I, abd if he thinks it’s just fine for you to spend the holidays alone it’s time for you to consider whether you want this relationship at all.”
Some believe this man deserves a lump of coal in his stocking.
“To quote an author ‘he is just not that in to you.’ Actions speak much louder than words. Someone can tell you that they love you but his actions tell you that you are not as important to him as his family. That is very unlikely to change.”
H/T: Reddit
Last Updated on November 8, 2022 by Sarah Kester
