One woman’s story of her husband demanding she cook him dinner has gone viral.
Maternity leave exists for a lot of reasons — to help upcoming moms prepare for childbirth, to give new parents time to bond and adjust to the life of having an infant to take care of, and to let parents relax without the pressure of work adding to the already stressful world of parenting. Another important reason is so that people who just gave birth have time to rest and recover before stressful demands are placed on them. One woman on Reddit shared that her husband did not seem to understand this in a viral post.
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“[Am I the jerk] for refusing to cook dinner?” she began her post under the username Exhausted Wife.
“I (F23) have been married to my husband “John” (M24) for a year now. And recently (aka five weeks ago) we welcomed our first baby (F),” she explained . “I’m currently on maternity leave, which my husband has interpreted it as me being a Stay at Home Mom instead of taking time to rest before I needed to return to work.”
“I don’t really mind it too much, since cleaning my house is soothing for me, and a good distraction from my sleep deprivation,” she wrote.
“I’ve always been this way, and John does still do his share of household chores. (He does most of the outdoor work and he’ll sweep/vacuum),” she continued, but then added that his expectations have become a problem.
“Recently, he’s been riding me about not having dinner ready when he gets home. He works from 8-5:30, so it’s not a completely unreasonable time for dinner, but it’s not like I can just stop taking care of our daughter to cook him a meal. I can usually talk him down, and he’ll watch daughter while I cook,” she shared.
“A few days ago, however, he came into the house and began berating me for not having dinner ‘ready and waiting’ so he could just ‘walk in and sit to eat.’ I was actively changing my daughter’s diaper while he went on this rant.”
“He went as far as to say that he ‘put up’ with my laziness for long enough and that I needed to do my job properly,” she wrote , and then shared her revenge plan.
“I didn’t say anything to him at that moment. I went and cooked dinner, and he seemed pretty proud of himself for winning the conversation. But I only have a few more weeks to stay home with my baby girl, and I’m not going to have that stomped on because of my husband.”
“So ever since that day, I go to my mom’s house for dinner,” she wrote, adding that her mom is “totally okay” with this.
“I don’t cook anything for John, and I’m already at my mom’s by the time he gets home. I still clean at home and keep the house tidy, but I don’t cook dinner. John has been furious with me, and has been telling me that I’m [a jerk] for leaving him to starve. I just want to have a peaceful environment before I have to go back to work, so Reddit, am I the [jerk]?”
The people in the comments largely agreed that she was definitely in the right.
“You’re married to a 24 year old who thinks it’s a woman’s job to have dinner on the table when he gets home every night? When she’s on maternity leave? Who raised this man? I don’t want to know about the in-law situation,” one commenter wrote .
“You just birthed a CHILD. When John does that, pigs will fly. You deserve your time to be at home with your baby and deserve your time to heal. Do the things you find soothing—not what someone else tells you you have to do,” another added.
Do you agree with the commenters? Let us know in the comments!
