Grief is a very strange thing. For some people, grief is easy and a painless thing. For others, grief is a hard, complicated , and trying thing. Whenever we lose someone, we grieve in our own way. We are always trying to get closure and also do the right thing by others when we are dealing with loss. However, some situations are more complicated than others.
Losing a spouse is very difficult.
Being married to someone and saying “I do” to spending the rest of your life with them is a huge decision. When you lose that person and they pass away, it’s something that not many of us can truly conceptualize or handle. It’s a very difficult time.
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Now, losing an ex—that’s also complicated and hard.
Losing an ex-husband or ex-wife is very challenging and hard because, at one point, that was someone you loved with all of your heart and soul. Although they are not in your life in the same way now, they were once a huge part of who you are.
Now, if your ex is remarried, how do you grieve?
If your ex is remarried and has a new wife and a new family, how do you get to say goodbye and grieve? Is it appropriate to go to the funeral, if you are no longer in the person’s life every day? Or, should you grieve in silence on your own?
One ex-wife is currently dealing with this exact problem.
A Mumsnet user online reached out to others to seek advice about her late ex-husband. The Mumsnet user said that her ex-husband, who is the father of her children, died and her kids were really going through it.
Her ex, however, is remarried to someone he had cheated on her with.
Although they had a very happy marriage, her ex-husband cheated on her and then remarried his mistress. The two have other children and an entire family together now. The Mumsnet user said that her children wanted her to attend the funeral with them for emotional support.
However, the mom found out she was “not welcome” at the funeral.
The Mumsnet user found out she was “not welcome” to the funeral by the new wife. Even though the two had been married before and they do share kids together, the new wife does not want her anywhere near the funeral. She asked if she was wrong for wanting to attend to support her kids.
Some people said that she “should not” go.
One user said she absolutely should not go. Her children should be adults and understand that it’s awkward for her to be there, especially because he has a grieving wife there as it is. The user said she should respect the widow.
Other people agreed with this user.
Many others agreed and said that if the widow said no, she should not be there at all. One user said the widow is the main mourner and that she needs to focus on her own pain, rather than focusing on the ex-wife being there.
Many said the children should also understand.
Some people thought that the kids asking their mother to go to her ex-husband’s funeral was weird and, that the mom can go and mourn on her own terms. The funeral however, may not be the best place for that.
However, many disagreed.
Many users , however, said the widow is totally wrong. One person said that she can’t be banned from a funeral, especially one of someone you were married to and who you share children with. Many felt that she should attend anyhow.
Others said the widow is petty.
Other people said that this widow seems to not understand that grief is not a “pick and choose” kind of thing. The Mom even shared that she did shed a few tears when she heard the news about her ex-husband.
Who do you think is in the right?
