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Woman Refuses to Split Living Costs 50/50 with Boyfriend: Fair or Stingy?

by Diply Social Team
2 years ago
in Family
Reading Time: 12 mins read
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Meet our conflicted protagonist (F26) who’s been dating her boyfriend (M28) for a few years. He owns an apartment and has been urging her to move in with him. However, they can’t seem to agree on how to split the living costs. He wants a 50/50 split, but she feels that would be unfair since she’d be paying down his mortgage without gaining any equity. So, she’s proposed a different arrangement, but he’s not too happy about it. Let’s dive into the details and see if we can figure out who’s being reasonable here. ‍♀️

The Boyfriend’s Proposal

Image credit: ok_database3372 | ok_database3372
ok_database3372 | ok_database3372

Her Counteroffer

Image credit: ok_database3372 | ok_database3372
ok_database3372 | ok_database3372

His Response

Image credit: ok_database3372 | ok_database3372
ok_database3372 | ok_database3372

Her Concerns

Image credit: ok_database3372 | ok_database3372
ok_database3372 | ok_database3372

Clarifications

Image credit: ok_database3372 | ok_database3372
ok_database3372 | ok_database3372

Current Living Situation

Image credit: ok_database3372 | ok_database3372
ok_database3372 | ok_database3372

Landlord vs. Boyfriend

Image credit: ok_database3372 | ok_database3372
ok_database3372 | ok_database3372

Her Stance

Image credit: ok_database3372 | ok_database3372
ok_database3372 | ok_database3372

Current Expenses

Image credit: ok_database3372 | ok_database3372
ok_database3372 | ok_database3372

Equity Agreement ❌

Image credit: ok_database3372 | ok_database3372
ok_database3372 | ok_database3372

The Dispute ‍♀️

Image credit: ok_database3372 | ok_database3372
ok_database3372 | ok_database3372

The Decision

Image credit: ok_database3372 | ok_database3372
ok_database3372 | ok_database3372

Bank Session

Image credit: ok_database3372 | ok_database3372
ok_database3372 | ok_database3372

Long-term Goals

Image credit: ok_database3372 | ok_database3372
ok_database3372 | ok_database3372

To Live Together or Not: The Final Verdict

After much back-and-forth, our protagonist and her boyfriend have decided not to live together for now. She’ll continue living with her friends while saving up to buy a shared apartment in the future. They’ve even scheduled a meeting with their bank for further advice. While it’s clear they both have different views on finances, it’s essential to have these conversations early on to avoid major disputes down the line. So, what do you think? Is she being unreasonable, or is her stance justified? Let’s see what the internet has to say…

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NAH. Comment suggests fair rent for girlfriend to pay.

Image credit: tldr012020 | tldr012020
tldr012020 | tldr012020

NTA. Boyfriend benefits from equity, but also financial liability and risk.

Image credit: AshesB77 | AshesB77
AshesB77 | AshesB77

Don’t let your boyfriend guilt you into unequal living expenses.

Image credit: Jane_Says_So | Jane_Says_So
Jane_Says_So | Jane_Says_So

Protect yourself: Get a legal tenancy agreement written up.

Image credit: Jade_Echo | Jade_Echo
Jade_Echo | Jade_Echo

NTA comment defends woman’s decision to not split living costs equally.

Image credit: Random_474 | Random_474
Random_474 | Random_474

Smart approach to splitting payments, don’t back down

Image credit: GroundbreakingTwo201 | GroundbreakingTwo201
GroundbreakingTwo201 | GroundbreakingTwo201

Consulted a lawyer who advised against paying boyfriend’s mortgage.

Image credit: INFJPersonality-52 | INFJPersonality-52
INFJPersonality-52 | INFJPersonality-52

Splitting costs for his equity? No way! #NTA

Image credit: SharkClub12 | SharkClub12
SharkClub12 | SharkClub12

Understanding the difference between principal and interest is crucial. NTA

Image credit: Marie1420 | Marie1420
Marie1420 | Marie1420

Agreement on NTA comment, no further input needed.

Image credit: _ML_78 | _ML_78
_ML_78 | _ML_78

Compromise offered, NTA for refusing 50/50 split.

Image credit: InvestigatorBig1584 | InvestigatorBig1584
InvestigatorBig1584 | InvestigatorBig1584

NAH. Compromise and find a living situation that works for both.

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Sharing living costs without being included in the deed? NTA wins

Image credit: Skinnydogvito | Skinnydogvito
Skinnydogvito | Skinnydogvito

Boyfriend’s refusal to split costs 50/50 is a red flag

Image credit: lieawakeforme | lieawakeforme
lieawakeforme | lieawakeforme

Protect yourself! Sound advice for those moving in together.

Image credit: IncreaseDifferent782 | IncreaseDifferent782
IncreaseDifferent782 | IncreaseDifferent782

Protecting oneself financially in a relationship is fair, NTA

Image credit: Ok-Asparagus-4809 | Ok-Asparagus-4809
Ok-Asparagus-4809 | Ok-Asparagus-4809

Déjà vu? Redditors discuss the repetitiveness of this post.

Image credit: SleeplessYeet | SleeplessYeet
SleeplessYeet | SleeplessYeet

Lawyer advises woman to focus on savings and hold off living together

Image credit: Classic-Internal-351 | Classic-Internal-351
Classic-Internal-351 | Classic-Internal-351

Compromise is key for this NAH couple’s living arrangement

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

NTA. OP wants to buy in, not be homeless.

Image credit: AndSoItGoes24 | AndSoItGoes24
AndSoItGoes24 | AndSoItGoes24

Couple shared rent based on fair market value. NAH

Image credit: Beneficial_Milk_8119 | Beneficial_Milk_8119
Beneficial_Milk_8119 | Beneficial_Milk_8119

Moving in together? Splitting costs 50/50 might not work.

Image credit: mem269 | mem269
mem269 | mem269

Water pipe damage: Split 50/50? ‘Of course she won’t agree’

Image credit: Triscuitmeniscus | Triscuitmeniscus
Triscuitmeniscus | Triscuitmeniscus

Fair to split bills 50/50 but not mortgage payment. NTA

Image credit: Country-girl-2212 | Country-girl-2212
Country-girl-2212 | Country-girl-2212

Pay rent, not mortgage. Equity and fairness are complex issues.

Image credit: Imnotawerewolf | Imnotawerewolf
Imnotawerewolf | Imnotawerewolf

Splitting living costs 50/50 vs paying ‘rent’ – NAH

Image credit: CarrieCat62 | CarrieCat62
CarrieCat62 | CarrieCat62

Offering to pay current rent is fair and avoids misunderstandings.

Image credit: SleeplessMcHollow | SleeplessMcHollow
SleeplessMcHollow | SleeplessMcHollow

NTA. Paying rent to a partner is a huge risk.

Image credit: sparklebitch1 | sparklebitch1
sparklebitch1 | sparklebitch1

Fair or stingy? Discussion on splitting living costs in relationships.

Image credit: Kanamon | Kanamon
Kanamon | Kanamon

Important considerations before splitting living costs with your partner

Image credit: UrsaGeorge | UrsaGeorge
UrsaGeorge | UrsaGeorge

Boyfriend gaining equity while girlfriend gains nothing. NTA.

Image credit: AcceptableJob4315 | AcceptableJob4315
AcceptableJob4315 | AcceptableJob4315

Couple disagrees on splitting living costs, seeks financial advice

Image credit: squirlysquirel | squirlysquirel
squirlysquirel | squirlysquirel

NTA stands firm on not splitting living costs with boyfriend

Image credit: Poison-Ivy-0 | Poison-Ivy-0
Poison-Ivy-0 | Poison-Ivy-0

A reasonable solution to a tricky financial situation

Image credit: LlovelyLlama | LlovelyLlama
LlovelyLlama | LlovelyLlama

Protect your finances and don’t pay for what you don’t own

Image credit: Hotpinksharpie | Hotpinksharpie
Hotpinksharpie | Hotpinksharpie

Protecting yourself is important . NTA for not paying mortgage.

Image credit: isotherapy | isotherapy
isotherapy | isotherapy

Living with boyfriend to save money but not splitting costs fairly.

Image credit: Chubbs6977 | Chubbs6977
Chubbs6977 | Chubbs6977

Balancing financial security and contribution in relationships.

Image credit: Greystar707 | Greystar707
Greystar707 | Greystar707

Woman proposes fair mortgage split, boyfriend calls her a leech

Image credit: shhh_its_me | shhh_its_me
shhh_its_me | shhh_its_me

Commenter calls out YTA for not wanting to split costs fairly

Image credit: Feeling_Seesaw2806 | Feeling_Seesaw2806
Feeling_Seesaw2806 | Feeling_Seesaw2806

Commenter called out for misunderstanding OP’s proposal.

Image credit: introspectiveliar | introspectiveliar
introspectiveliar | introspectiveliar

Commenter calls out OP for being selfish in relationship

Image credit: SpecialistAfter511 | SpecialistAfter511
SpecialistAfter511 | SpecialistAfter511

NTA asserts equal expenses, but a reply disagrees

Image credit: Spirit_Falcon | Spirit_Falcon
Spirit_Falcon | Spirit_Falcon

Suggests alternative payment method to YTA’s 50/50 mortgage proposal

Image credit: Snowconetypebanana | Snowconetypebanana
Snowconetypebanana | Snowconetypebanana

Woman refuses to split costs equally with boyfriend. NTA.

Image credit: Status-Pattern7539 | Status-Pattern7539
Status-Pattern7539 | Status-Pattern7539

Partner should aim for financial equity. YTA for not compromising.

Image credit: pigandpom | pigandpom
pigandpom | pigandpom

Insightful comment about mortgage payments and equity distribution

Image credit: No-Potato-1230 | No-Potato-1230
No-Potato-1230 | No-Potato-1230

Married commenter advises against paying boyfriend’s mortgage. Love and money.

Image credit: OaklandsVeryOwn | OaklandsVeryOwn
OaklandsVeryOwn | OaklandsVeryOwn

Compromise and communication are key to successful cohabitation.

Image credit: NuketheCow_ | NuketheCow_
NuketheCow_ | NuketheCow_

User thinks woman is the a**hole for not splitting rent 50/50 with boyfriend

Image credit: Educational_One2790 | Educational_One2790
Educational_One2790 | Educational_One2790

Fair options presented for splitting living costs with boyfriend.

Image credit: Barnes777777 | Barnes777777
Barnes777777 | Barnes777777

Splitting living costs: fair or stingy? It’s complicated

Image credit: the_orig_princess | the_orig_princess
the_orig_princess | the_orig_princess

Fair market value rent split based on income is reasonable

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Compromise is key for this couple’s financial dilemma

Image credit: RedditDK2 | RedditDK2
RedditDK2 | RedditDK2

Commenter thinks the system is messed up for everyone.

Image credit: RiByrne | RiByrne
RiByrne | RiByrne

Commenter warns of potential abuse in 50/50 living cost split

Image credit: flowersandsex- | flowersandsex-
flowersandsex- | flowersandsex-

Commenter called out for being stingy in living arrangement.

Image credit: Scientist454 | Scientist454
Scientist454 | Scientist454
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