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Woman Declines Boyfriend’s Move-In Proposal Until He Gets a Job: High-and-Mighty or Prudent?

by Diply Social Team
2 years ago
in Family
Reading Time: 14 mins read
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In a world where love and money often collide, one woman’s decision to prioritize financial stability over cohabitation with her long-term boyfriend has sparked a heated debate. The woman, who we’ll call ‘Prudent Patty’, and her sister ‘Money-Savvy Maggie’, recently moved into a new apartment. When Patty’s boyfriend ‘Cashless Cade’ expressed interest in moving in, she put her foot down, insisting he find a job first. Let’s delve into this intriguing tale of love, money, and independence.

The Big City Move

Image credit: throwaway693959 | throwaway693959
throwaway693959 | throwaway693959

The Struggle for Independence

Image credit: throwaway693959 | throwaway693959
throwaway693959 | throwaway693959

The Joy of a New Home

Image credit: throwaway693959 | throwaway693959
throwaway693959 | throwaway693959

The Boyfriend’s Proposal

Image credit: throwaway693959 | throwaway693959
throwaway693959 | throwaway693959

The Parents’ Offer

Image credit: throwaway693959 | throwaway693959
throwaway693959 | throwaway693959

The Firm Refusal ‍♀️

Image credit: throwaway693959 | throwaway693959
throwaway693959 | throwaway693959

The Accusations Fly ️

Image credit: throwaway693959 | throwaway693959
throwaway693959 | throwaway693959

The Sister’s Support

Image credit: throwaway693959 | throwaway693959
throwaway693959 | throwaway693959

The Guilt and Fear

Image credit: throwaway693959 | throwaway693959
throwaway693959 | throwaway693959

The Dilemma: Love or Financial Stability?

Prudent Patty’s decision to refuse Cashless Cade’s move-in proposal until he secures a job has stirred up a whirlwind of emotions. While Patty and her sister, Money-Savvy Maggie, are content with their decision, Cade and his parents are far from pleased. Accusations of acting ‘high-and-mighty’ and ‘infantilizing’ Cade have been thrown Patty’s way. However, she remains firm, fearing the potential financial burden if his parents stop footing the bill. This tale of love, money, and independence has certainly got the internet buzzing. Let’s see what the world has to say about this situation…

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NTA. Have a trial period before moving in together.

Image credit: RegularTeacher2 | RegularTeacher2
RegularTeacher2 | RegularTeacher2

NTA. Boyfriend’s parents infantilizing him. Moving in = becoming mommy.

Image credit: ZestyMind | ZestyMind
ZestyMind | ZestyMind

NTA – Boyfriend’s entitlement and parents’ assumptions make this a mess

Image credit: dookle14 | dookle14
dookle14 | dookle14

NTA- Boyfriend wants parents to pay bills at 27. Move on!

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

“NTA. He complains to mommy and daddy? Time to break up.”

Image credit: Maca87 | Maca87
Maca87 | Maca87

NTA, reasonable to want secure income before moving in.

Image credit: charlie13_exe | charlie13_exe
charlie13_exe | charlie13_exe

NTA: Prudent move, but find someone with similar values.

Image credit: OneMikeNation | OneMikeNation
OneMikeNation | OneMikeNation

NTA and red flags: pressure, ulterior motives, dependent partner.

Image credit: chzsteak-in-paradise | chzsteak-in-paradise
chzsteak-in-paradise | chzsteak-in-paradise

“I infantilize him” – Setting boundaries for adult behavior. NTA

Image credit: annaapple5 | annaapple5
annaapple5 | annaapple5

Time to decide if he’s more than just a flatmate

Image credit: thirdtryisthecharm | thirdtryisthecharm
thirdtryisthecharm | thirdtryisthecharm

NTA for expecting him to be responsible and self-sufficient. ‍♂️

Image credit: fargoLEVY13 | fargoLEVY13
fargoLEVY13 | fargoLEVY13

NTA – You’re allowed to have whoever you want live with you. ‍♀️

Image credit: Gloomy_Ruminant | Gloomy_Ruminant
Gloomy_Ruminant | Gloomy_Ruminant

NTA – Prudent move to ensure BF’s independence and sister’s comfort.

Image credit: LavenderWildflowers | LavenderWildflowers
LavenderWildflowers | LavenderWildflowers

Mixed opinions on boyfriend’s job situation and moving in

Image credit: starchy2ber | starchy2ber
starchy2ber | starchy2ber

“NTA. Your place, your rules. Trust your gut and reevaluate.”

Image credit: Intelligent_Local_38 | Intelligent_Local_38
Intelligent_Local_38 | Intelligent_Local_38

NTA. Cade wants freedom without responsibility. ‍♂️

Image credit: DontTestMeToday | DontTestMeToday
DontTestMeToday | DontTestMeToday

After 8 years, it’s time to find someone you’re compatible with

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

NTA: Boyfriend needs to step up and get a job

Image credit: Some-Astronaut-6907 | Some-Astronaut-6907
Some-Astronaut-6907 | Some-Astronaut-6907

“Prudent move, but is his parents paying his share fair?”

Image credit: kimmie1223 | kimmie1223
kimmie1223 | kimmie1223

10 years together and unsure about future? NTA

Image credit: Global-Tea-9021 | Global-Tea-9021
Global-Tea-9021 | Global-Tea-9021

Validating her decision to wait for him to get a job

Image credit: DJ_Doser | DJ_Doser
DJ_Doser | DJ_Doser

“NTA, it’s your apartment. Set a goal for him to meet.”

Image credit: TbhIdekMyName | TbhIdekMyName
TbhIdekMyName | TbhIdekMyName

Respecting boundaries and sharing expenses: a fair housing arrangement. ✨

Image credit: Far-Side2489 | Far-Side2489
Far-Side2489 | Far-Side2489

NTA for not wanting to live with an unemployed boyfriend

Image credit: AdExtension6981 | AdExtension6981
AdExtension6981 | AdExtension6981

ESH: Clear arrangements needed. Sister and OP reluctant. BF’s parents AH.

Image credit: klaveruhh | klaveruhh
klaveruhh | klaveruhh

NTA. Prudent move to wait for financial stability.

Image credit: thy16 | thy16
thy16 | thy16

NTA: Setting boundaries and encouraging personal growth in relationships

Image credit: MoNo1994 | MoNo1994
MoNo1994 | MoNo1994

NTA. Red flag: he complains but won’t look for work

Image credit: sweeetrabbbit | sweeetrabbbit
sweeetrabbbit | sweeetrabbbit

NTA for wanting a motivated partner who contributes to household

Image credit: Pleasant_Cold | Pleasant_Cold
Pleasant_Cold | Pleasant_Cold

Trust your gut! Value work and self-sufficiency before moving in.

Image credit: pstansel | pstansel
pstansel | pstansel

Valid concerns about relationship and financial independence.

Image credit: JBagginsKK | JBagginsKK
JBagginsKK | JBagginsKK

Practicality vs. Love: NTA, but is it worth it? ❤️

Image credit: BigBeardedBoy3 | BigBeardedBoy3
BigBeardedBoy3 | BigBeardedBoy3

NTA. Set boundaries in your home

Image credit: Regular-Tell-108 | Regular-Tell-108
Regular-Tell-108 | Regular-Tell-108

“NTA, valid concerns. Compromise: give him time to prove himself.”

Image credit: LookedRightThruMe | LookedRightThruMe
LookedRightThruMe | LookedRightThruMe

Independence before cohabitation: A valuable lesson for personal growth ✨

Image credit: haasje83 | haasje83
haasje83 | haasje83

NTA- Prudent decision to decline boyfriend’s move-in proposal. Red flags!

Image credit: Careful-Self-457 | Careful-Self-457
Careful-Self-457 | Careful-Self-457

Commenter questions the logic of a boyfriend’s reaction to a move-in proposal refusal.

Image credit: ClaymoreClair | ClaymoreClair
ClaymoreClair | ClaymoreClair

Is it time to face reality?

Image credit: sparklyviking | sparklyviking
sparklyviking | sparklyviking

Being responsible and setting boundaries is not infantilizing, NTA!

Image credit: Careless-Image-885 | Careless-Image-885
Careless-Image-885 | Careless-Image-885

NTA: Red flag, rude parents, sister’s discomfort. Time to move on?

Image credit: RavenBlueEyes84 | RavenBlueEyes84
RavenBlueEyes84 | RavenBlueEyes84

8-year relationship questioned? What other red flags exist?

Image credit: FollowingLumpy187 | FollowingLumpy187
FollowingLumpy187 | FollowingLumpy187

NTA. Boyfriend’s lack of job hinders independence. Unfair accusations debunked. ‍♀️

Image credit: NotARobotDefACyborg | NotARobotDefACyborg
NotARobotDefACyborg | NotARobotDefACyborg

NTA for wanting a job first, but consider sister’s opinion

Image credit: RecommendsMalazan | RecommendsMalazan
RecommendsMalazan | RecommendsMalazan

NTA – Evicting him could lead to a legal nightmare

Image credit: Traveling-Techie | Traveling-Techie
Traveling-Techie | Traveling-Techie

NTA. Boyfriend’s parents are already bent out of shape

Image credit: darkstarr82 | darkstarr82
darkstarr82 | darkstarr82

NTA: Enjoy living with your sister, no need for a third roommate!

Image credit: LivSaJo | LivSaJo
LivSaJo | LivSaJo

Independence first! NTA comment encourages self-sufficiency in relationships.

Image credit: weddingcurmudgeon69 | weddingcurmudgeon69
weddingcurmudgeon69 | weddingcurmudgeon69

NTA- Smart move! Don’t be his mom, he needs independence.

Image credit: keegley | keegley
keegley | keegley

NTA. Sister disapproves, need office space. Keep separate living arrangements. ✋

Image credit: puce_moment | puce_moment
puce_moment | puce_moment

NTA. Ex’s parents paid for everything, caused dependency issues.

Image credit: oddly-sweet | oddly-sweet
oddly-sweet | oddly-sweet

NTA: Prudent move to expect financial independence in a relationship

Image credit: Sammakko660 | Sammakko660
Sammakko660 | Sammakko660

NTA. Boyfriend’s parents insinuate cheating, sister doesn’t want him there.

Image credit: Realistic-Animator-3 | Realistic-Animator-3
Realistic-Animator-3 | Realistic-Animator-3

NTA. Prudent move to encourage independence before cohabitation.

Image credit: throwit_amita | throwit_amita
throwit_amita | throwit_amita

NTA: Valid reasons for not moving in together, plus trust issues

Image credit: jcaashby | jcaashby
jcaashby | jcaashby

NTA insists on trial period before marriage. Will he contribute?

Image credit: Interesting_You_2315 | Interesting_You_2315
Interesting_You_2315 | Interesting_You_2315

Parents upset with OP for not supporting boyfriend financially. NTA

Image credit: CeelaChathArrna | CeelaChathArrna
CeelaChathArrna | CeelaChathArrna

NTA for not wanting to live with a dependent boyfriend.

Image credit: calminthedesert | calminthedesert
calminthedesert | calminthedesert

Being ready for commitment is more important than appeasing others. ‍♀️

Image credit: No-Consequence-2148 | No-Consequence-2148
No-Consequence-2148 | No-Consequence-2148

Respect your sister’s wishes, it could save you future headaches

Image credit: Agreeable_Reaction29 | Agreeable_Reaction29
Agreeable_Reaction29 | Agreeable_Reaction29

Is she being too picky or just practical?

Image credit: dragongrrrrrl | dragongrrrrrl
dragongrrrrrl | dragongrrrrrl

NTA; Trust your instincts and run from this red flag

Image credit: Ok_Imagination_1107 | Ok_Imagination_1107
Ok_Imagination_1107 | Ok_Imagination_1107

Confusion and missing context: Why the separate rooms and lack of planning?

Image credit: msmurasaki | msmurasaki
msmurasaki | msmurasaki

NTA for wanting financial stability, but don’t judge his choices.

Image credit: drgrouchy | drgrouchy
drgrouchy | drgrouchy

8 years together and still unsure? Time to move on

Image credit: icecreampenis | icecreampenis
icecreampenis | icecreampenis

Prudent move! No job, no move-in.

Image credit: homelessscootaloo | homelessscootaloo
homelessscootaloo | homelessscootaloo

8 years together and still unsure about a future? ‍♀️

Image credit: carsonmccrullers | carsonmccrullers
carsonmccrullers | carsonmccrullers

NTA. Changing rules after agreement. Working together at home.

Image credit: holisarcasm | holisarcasm
holisarcasm | holisarcasm

“NTA for wanting financial stability before moving in together. “

Image credit: againstplutophobia | againstplutophobia
againstplutophobia | againstplutophobia

After 8 years, she’s unsure? Break up and move on!

Image credit: Ecjg2010 | Ecjg2010
Ecjg2010 | Ecjg2010

NTA, but is lack of trust a dealbreaker after 8 years?

Image credit: DoneLurking23 | DoneLurking23
DoneLurking23 | DoneLurking23

Playing house for 8 years? Time to make a decision!

Image credit: MightyThorgasm | MightyThorgasm
MightyThorgasm | MightyThorgasm

NTA. Time to reassess your relationship and priorities.

Image credit: DwightandAngela4ever | DwightandAngela4ever
DwightandAngela4ever | DwightandAngela4ever

NTA. Prudent decision to wait until he’s financially stable.

Image credit: MaryAnne0601 | MaryAnne0601
MaryAnne0601 | MaryAnne0601

NTA: Time to split?

Image credit: I_Suggest_Therapy | I_Suggest_Therapy
I_Suggest_Therapy | I_Suggest_Therapy

Sister didn’t sign up for living with your boyfriend ‍♀️

Image credit: plantlifeparticles | plantlifeparticles
plantlifeparticles | plantlifeparticles

NTA: Time to move on after 9 years together.

Image credit: Rolling_Beardo | Rolling_Beardo
Rolling_Beardo | Rolling_Beardo

NTA. Boyfriend needs to learn how to adult ‍

Image credit: DeshaMustFly | DeshaMustFly
DeshaMustFly | DeshaMustFly
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