Most brides have a vision of their wedding day being magical, unforgettable, and above all else, perfect. They pick out a beautiful dress, select bridesmaids, labor over the right flowers, and choose the most amazing venue.
Perhaps the most wonderful part of the day, however, is having their loved ones join them as they take the leap into the next stage of their lives.
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All families are different and all families have their differences.
None of us get to choose the families that we’re born into and no family is perfect.
For some, family differences can get in the way of sharing some truly important life events, and sometimes even sever ties altogether.
For some, family doesn’t always come first.
In a world that often idealizes the picture of perfection that’s put forth by social media, some people rejig their priorities and put that same idea of perfection before more important ideals, like family.
It’s sometimes painful, but families grow apart based on different principles, morals, and goals.
One bride had originally asked her nephew to be her ring bearer, but changed her mind when he wouldn’t comply with her dress code.
As she was planning her wedding, one bride asked her sister if her seven-year-old son, who is on the autism spectrum, would be the ring bearer.
It was all going well, until they hit an unexpected snag.
Because the bride’s nephew is living with autism, that means that his life and behaviors aren’t always like other children, and a very specific situation created a bit of a dilemma for her vision of the event.
Children on the autism spectrum have unique struggles.
Due to variations in brain development, children on the autism spectrum often struggle with social skills, communication, and feeling accepted within their communities.
The pressure to be “normal” can prove to be devastating if a child doesn’t feel like they can be themselves.
He was going through a *Spider-Man* phase and refused to wear anything but his favorite superhero’s costume.
The bride’s sister explained to the bride that recently her son had taken to wearing a Spider-Man costume every day, and he refused to wear anything else.
Her sister said that her son would most likely insist on wearing his costume to the wedding, and her comment did not go over well.
The bride was not about to have Spider-Man show up to her wedding.
The bride took to Reddit’s popular Am I The Asshole? community to plead her case to unbiased readers.
She nicknamed her nephew Josh for the post and explained:
“My sister calls me to give me a ‘heads up’ that Josh will be wearing his costume to my wedding. I tell her absolutely not. I don’t care if he wears it during the reception, but I do not want Spider-Man walking down the aisle at my wedding and in all my photos.”
The bride’s nephew felt a unique connection to his costume.
The bride’s sister explained that her son wore his Spider-Man costume everywhere.
He wore it to school, at home, and even when they ran errands.
She and her husband tried to get him to take it off and it would lead to several meltdowns.
Her son was enamored with the costume and in many ways it seemed to be his safety armor.
This bride was unwavering in her decision.
While the bride did try to compromise with her sister, she remained steadfast in her choice not to allow her nephew to attend the ceremony in his Spider-Man costume.
“I said if she cannot get him into something at least semi-formal, she can make arrangements for him to have a babysitter during the ceremony,” she explained in her post.
Things got even more heated.
The bride’s sister did not take her decision well at all and things took a turn for the worse.
“She huffed at me and told me I was being a complete Bridezilla and ‘banning an autistic child from my wedding.’ I’m not ‘banning’ him, I’m just insisting he wear normal clothes.”
The bride asked Reddit users to share their thoughts on whether she just had a different opinion than her sister or if she was being discriminatory.
Not surprisingly, the reviews were mixed.
There were solid arguments from both sides.
One commenter wrote: “Your family are not props. Isn’t it better to have all of your beloved family witness your special day, rather than picture perfection at all moments? What’s more important here?”
However, many people were in support of the bride’s choice.
“Wanting the members of your wedding party to be dressed appropriately is an acceptable wish on your part,” another commenter shared.
It may not be as simple as agreeing not to agree.
It’s sad that this situation may seep into the rest of this sibling relationship and not only divide sisters, but also change the relationship between an aunt and nephew.
The bride may be choosing ideal wedding pictures over a relationship with her nephew or vice versa.
One thing seems clear, this wedding decision was not one that was taken lightly.
This situation is causing a family rift.
The bride’s sister and brother-in-law threatened not to attend the wedding at all, while the bride’s fiancé is completely behind her decision.
In the end, the Reddit community agreed that she was not the a-hole, but many did try to explain what it truly means to raise a child who is on the spectrum, and how difficult the situation must be for her sister.
What do you think? Should this bride let up and allow her nephew to be the ring bearer, Spider-Man suit and all, or should her sister put her foot down with her son? Let us know in the comments.
