It’s pretty safe to say that childbirth is a pretty important moment, for the baby and their parents. Delivery may be difficult and painful, but important nonetheless.
But… what about the fathers who miss the birth of their child? Research in the UK shows that around 1 in 5 fathers miss that moment , and further research shows that the presence of a father during pregnancy and childbirth can promote better health in mother and child.
One Redditor ended up being at arms with her husband, who blames her for missing the birth of their daughter.
Posted to Reddit’s popular r/AmITheAsshole sub, the user (going by Moody009), posted the story of her delivery , which was nearly as difficult emotionally as it was physically.
“I was in labor for 26 hours and was in [a lot] of pain as I didn’t take an epidural.”
“My husband was constantly on the phone either playing games or talking with with his ‘bros’ being really loud, when I asked him to please hang up he’d hang up the phone and then like 10 mins later call them back.”
“He really wanted to talk to them because his friends went on a boys trip without him because I asked to stay back so he could be here when I went into labor.”
“…He [apologized] to them blaming it on me being a nag. I was really annoyed and told him if he wanted to talk to his friend he could do that elsewhere so I [could] be in pain in peace.”
She then shares that his mother (her mother-in-law) started a FaceTime call with him.
“His mom makes a comment about how she remembers when she was in labor with him and that she still did herself up, she even claimed she looked so good the doctor even was flirting with her.”
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A nurse shows up soon after, and OP explains that she wants peace and quiet, and alone time.
“She ends up kicking out my husband and in turn he ends up missing the birth of our first born daughter because he left the hospital,” OP continues.
“He refused to come see his daughter afterwards because he was angry at me for kicking him out…”
“…my mother in law who did visit me in the hospital wouldn’t stop taking about how I’m such a bad wife for removing my husband from the room.”
“When I got home he kept on bringing up how I ruined a moment of bonding with his daughter and how he could never forgive me for that.”
She then asked if she was being the asshole in this situation, to which the comment section overwhelmingly took her side.
Many commenters pointed out how selfish and inconsiderate he was being while in the room.
One commenter wrote, “She needed her husband and he acted like a child. Child birth is nothing to joke about! Women die in child birth and it’s painful. Definitely not the NTA, but having to tell a grown man how to act isn’t something you want to be doing while in labor!”
Many even questioned why OP was with her husband in the first place.
“But like…he called you a [expletive] ‘nag’ for asking him not to go on a trip around your due date…that alone shows how little he respects you. You’ll be better off as a single mom,” another commenter wrote.
Others pointed out how his mother was also out of line.
“His mom’s comments seemed extremely narcissistic more than a little inconsiderate,” a user said.
All in all, it sounds like a pretty unfortunate situation. Hopefully OP’s husband will be a better father in the future than he was in that moment.
