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    Dad carrying child on his shoulders (Unsplash | Kelly Sikkema)

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What It’s Really Like Being Married to a ‘Competent Man,’ According to This Woman

by Nour Morsy
5 months ago
in Dating & Relationships, Online Communities, People & Society
Reading Time: 6 mins read
A A
Couple Silhouette (Photo by Diego RadamÈs/SOPA Images/LightRocket via Getty Images)

Photo by Diego RadamÈs/SOPA Images/LightRocket via Getty Images

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There is a recurring argument about the different roles men and women should hold in a marriage, with some often expecting more traditional gender roles, such as the working man and the housewife. 

A lot of people often assume men are not competent enough to handle household chores and thus don’t expect it from them. But one woman shared how her husband handled the house while she was away at work, showing him as an example of competent men, according to her. 

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In a TikTok video posted by the user @abbyeckel, the woman spoke about her husband’s household accomplishments as proof that men can be competent in the home.

She started off by saying, “let me give you an example of what it looks like to be married to a competent and capable man.”

She proceeded to show people what he did

Screenshot from video by abbyeckel on TikTok
TikTok | abbyeckel

Narrating her husband’s accomplishments over videos she had previously taken of their home, she said, “I came home last night to find the entire house had been cleaned.”

She added that he had ordered new scented candles for the home and lit them upon their arrival. 

The husband had also decorated the house

Screenshot from video by abbyeckel on TikTok
TikTok | abbyeckel

The TikTok user had also shared that her husband had beautifully finished decorating the house for Christmas, mentioning it on the list of things he had done by the time she got home.

“The rest of our Christmas decorations had been put up, adorably, by the way,” she added. 

He also bought new Christmas items

Screenshot from video by abbyeckel on TikTok
TikTok | abbyeckel

The woman shared that her husband had also bought their kids new Christmas themed items for their bathroom to help get them in the Christmas spirit.

“He had gone and got new Christmas stuff for our boys’ bathrooms and put it out after he cleaned it.”

She hadn’t asked him to do the work

Screenshot from video by abbyeckel on TikTok
TikTok | abbyeckel

Importantly, the woman mentioned that she hadn’t asked her husband to do the work in their home, but that he had done it on his own accord.

“I didn’t make him a list of things to do, I didn’t leave it out for him, I didn’t request that any of this be done,” she shared. 

This was what competence looked like to her

Battle of the Boyne bonfires
Photo by Liam McBurney/PA Images via Getty Images

The TikToker used her platform to share with people what she believed they should expect from their husbands, explaining that men should play a part in improving how the house looks and feels.

She said, “I simply went to work and came home and my husband had acted like a completely competent and capable adult.”

She explained that men should want to participate

Christmas Market Munich
Photo by Michael Nguyen/NurPhoto via Getty Images

Ending her video, the TikToker shared that her husband “likes to equitably participate in making Christmas magical for our family.”

She used her husband as an example of what a competent man should look like as a way of showing other women what they should expect. 

Many people took to the comments

TikTok
Photo credit should read CFOTO/Future Publishing via Getty Images

The video has racked up 1.2M views and 30.6K comments in two days, so it’s safe to say people responded to her sentiment.

One person wrote, “the fact that a competent husband is now seen as a rare jewel is sooo sad.”

Other users enjoyed seeing the video

Full moon in Turkish capital
Photo by Dilara Irem Sancar/Anadolu via Getty Images

Many were glad to see the husband’s accomplishments around the home, having not seen it very often among the people around them, with one user writing, “I’ve never seen anything like this.”

Another person also wrote, “So happy this exists.”

A user said it was a true expression of love

@abbyeckel

Men are competent. Men are capable. I didn’t have to ask for this to be done, btw. I didnt leave him a list. I didnt ask him to buy candles. Or xmas decor for our soms bathroom. My husband just actually likes me and respects me. He takes pride in our home. He loves to make the holidays magical for the kids. And cares.

♬ original sound – abbyeckel

Another user felt as though her husband’s gestures were a true expression of love, writing, “It’s also not a gender thing. This is love. This consideration. This thoughtfulness. This is a partner. And it is qualities like this we should look for in a partner to add to our lives.

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