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20 Times Zillow Listings Were More Like Zill-NO

by Ashley Hunte
3 years ago
in Home & Garden
Reading Time: 4 mins read
A A
Unsplash | Tierra Mallorca

Unsplash | Tierra Mallorca

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Looking for a new house can be pretty exciting. Going on places like Zillow really helps the process. That is, as long as you stay away from the really atrocious listings .

The Instagram account @worstofzillow compiles some of the worst of the worst (best of the worst?) when it comes to strange listings. I can’t believe people thought they could sell their houses like that.

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A castle…sort of.

I’m not gonna lie, I’m kind of into the exterior of this one. The inside, though… it needs a lot of work. It’s honestly kind of a letdown.

Somebody should’ve probably invested in a stager.

The banner that says, “Saturdays are for the boys” is probably one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen in a listing. But, uh, you probably shouldn’t take pictures of your house when it looks like this, and then expect people to pay money for it.

It looked so nice from the outside, too.

It looks like such a normal house. And yet, it has a murder clown basement. I wish I could say I saw that coming, but that would be a lie.

It’s, uh, unique?

Why is this house giving dance studio vibes? I guess because of the absurdly large mirror? In any case, it’s horrible, and I can’t believe somebody out there lived like that.

Every house needs a tower, right?

Wrong. It almost looks like the house proper was built around the tower. Like, the tower was already there, and somebody decided to put a house around it. Just plain weird.

But just look at that view!

I really want to know why that weird, long platform exists, and also why it feels like the listing is trying to make it a selling feature. Sure, the view is nice and all. But that’s what windows are for and the house has some weirdly blank walls.

“’90s AMC movie theater vibes.”

Would I want to live in a house that looked like this? Absolutely not. But I would love to watch a movie set entirely in this house. That would be so much fun!

Insert laugh track here.

This looks like the set to a sitcom. It feels like somebody’s about to walk out from the side, say something slightly funny, and then a studio audience is going to laugh hysterically for a few seconds.

It just needed a little more oomph, I guess.

Yeah, if I was trying to sell a house and the kitchen counter looked like this, I’d take the listing down. This is just sad. Like, it’s making me irrationally upset.

At least you can tell it’s spacious?

I mean, you probably shouldn’t stack all of your junk into one corner and then take pictures of your rooms for the listing. But I guess there are much worse things they could’ve done here. Much, much worse things.

This isn’t really worse, but it is weird.

This seems dated, but otherwise decent. At first. But look a little closer at the railing, and you’ll see that it’s made up of dozens of canes. Do we want to know how this homeowner got their hands on so many canes…?

Ah, now this is worse.

I’m sincerely hoping those mannequins are only there to show off all those pretty dresses. But even if that’s the case, I hate them. How could you go and view this place with all those creepy mannequins watching your every move?

Wow, I didn’t know they took on listings from the moon!

No, but seriously, this is kind of concerning. Like, the amount of effort somebody went to in order to make their home look like a spaceship is… well, it’s a lot, to say the least.

Nice table. Does it come with the legs?

I honestly don’t have a lot to say about this. Well, other than the fact that the person who made this table is probably battling, like, six different curses at the moment.

“If the colors of this room won’t kill you, the 500 pound TV resting on the narrow ledge will.”

This room is honestly so ugly, you don’t notice the TV at first. But that’s one of those old, huge televisions that will absolutely crush you if it falls on you. Why would anyone think it was a good idea to set it on a ledge…?

I’m in the kitchen. I’m in the laundry room. I’m in the combination kitchen/laundry room.

I know that in some parts of the world, it’s pretty common to have a washing machine and dryer in your kitchen. But I also feel like they don’t usually have both appliances sitting around the oven. This just seems weird.

It’s called art. You wouldn’t understand.

Somebody paid a lot of money to make this house as ugly as possible. For that, I’m a little impressed. But only a little. For the most part, I’m actually horrified!

Keep scrolling for a surprise.

With an interior like this, you wouldn’t expect the exterior of the house to look so… normal. Like, it looks like some swanky California mansion. And yet. The inside is Star Trek .

The castle we’ve all been waiting for.

Surprisingly (or maybe unsurprisingly, if you love looking at weird real estate listings), this isn’t the only castle in this list. But this one is much better than the last, by which I mean it’s worse. I mean, just look at the shower!

Who needs a house when you could have a bunker?

Yeah, I’m going to have to pass on this one. I’m sure for one lucky person out there, this is their dream bunker. But for the rest of us, no thanks.

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