You don’t have to be a naturally suspicious person to occasionally experience trust issues . These could come up from virtually any source, of course. The worst thing? You never know what will trigger your suspicions.
The items in this list might get you on edge a little bit. Some are probably perfectly innocent — but hey, you never can be too careful.
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“This terrifying pet costume.”
On first glance, this is awful. Re-orient things and look again and it’s clear what’s going on. Still, I can’t shake the reaction from my first look at it.
“Fart girl meets shart girl.”
If the owners of the FART and SHART license plates for a state have met up and joined forces, can the apocalypse be far behind? The question is: are they going to use their powers for good, or evil?
“I love that car in that movie!”
I get that this is some janky off-brand stuff, but surely they could have been just a little more descriptive when naming this set. Also, anybody have any guesses as to which movie this might be the car from?
“How bad can your mistakes be?”
This is both a compelling argument and a suspicious one. I mean, it’ll now be my go-to rationalization for eating a half-dozen donuts for breakfast, but at the same time, isn’t this exactly what an evildoer from the future would want you to think?
“Teachers get a discount on flamethrowers: guess which state I am.”
Teachers help mold young minds, and as such, they deserve…uh, discounted flamethrowers, I guess? To answer OP’s question, I’m going to guess Arizona.
“Chernobyl-themed snow globe.”
This snow globe probably isn’t radioactive, but there’s something about having an artful depiction of a nuclear meltdown in my living room that I wouldn’t like. The way the flakes look less like snow and more like ashes is pretty unsettling, too.
“My favorite tracks are ‘Daytrain’ and ‘It’s So Difficult.'”
“Take me there to the really nice city, where the streets are clean and it’s no big pity, oh won’t you please go to there?”
“Double mustaches are the latest male fashion trend.”
I can appreciate a good mustache as much as the next guy, but humans were only ever meant to have one mustache. We should be careful about playing God.
“Today’s youth glued to their devices.”
The age-old complaint about young people staring at their electronics all day has merit, of course. But let’s just say that this isn’t the only demographic that gets absorbed in glowing rectangles.
“This is why I have trust issues!”
I think Natty Light has some explaining to do. How are both of these sixteen ounces? Something here seems suspicious indeed, unless the laws of nature changed at some point in the manufacturing process.
“1988: My dad was denied entry to a club in Mexico because he was wearing shorts so my mom gave him her pants”
I don’t get the club manager’s thinking. This guy looks way more sketchy in undersized women’s clothes than he ever would have in shorts.
“At Dublin Zoo.”
Just in case you ever wondered if the zookeeper would prioritize your safety over the animals’ safety, here’s confirmation. Knowing how much cotton candy I’ve put away during a zoo visit, they’re right to worry, too.
“This Friends-themed house.”
The attention to detail here is impressive, but I could never trust a person who lived in a Friends -themed house. A Frasier -themed house? Okay, I’m listening.
“WHO IS SHE??!”
You know when someone throws on a wig and it’s really obvious that it’s a wig? I don’t want to shame this crab, but that’s exactly what’s going on here. It’s not the most convincing disguise.
“Someone finally got our IT guys to clean their office and…”
These IT guys are really not doing anything to fight the stereotype that IT guys live on a diet of Mountain Dew. Still makes you wonder why they need so much of it, though.
“What made this morning’s trip to the bathroom interesting is that I don’t actually own a cat.”
I’m always up for a surprise cat visit, but surprise cats showing up in your bathtub is a little much. Random cats watching me pee is not the way I want to wake up in the morning.
“When a bootleg product becomes so infamous, it’s actually worth more than the average game.”
This is the kind of awful game you’d buy as a joke, then try to play, then get turned off of video games forever.
“T-Mobile’s 5G map is a giant middle finger to the great state of Nebraska.”
This is fascinating. What did Nebraska ever do to T-Mobile? Even the western states, with their vast swathes of nothingness, have more coverage.
“Something strange in the Portland neighborhood.”
I’m not taking this as proof that ghosts exist, but if ghosts didn’t exist, why would this sign be put up? Also, who else is curious to hear more about these “recent incidents”?
“You wouldn’t write it like that unless you poisoned the frogs.”
Next time you want to offer something to a friend, stress the fact that it’s plain, ordinary and common. That’s how you get their guard down.
