After having been diagnosed as a narcissist, YouTuber HG Tudor has shared the signs you might have grown up with a narcissistic parent. They shared that romantic and familial relationships are the two areas where dealing with a narcissist can be especially scarring.
While it’s difficult to realize this as a child, it can be easier to recognize narcissistic patterns as an adult, so these are the signs HG Tudor shared that could mean you had a narcissistic parent.
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You became the caregiver
While most parents facing problems would figure out ways to handle the situation, according to HG Tudor, a child with a narcissistic parent might “become the emotional rock for the narcissist that they complain about the behaviors of the others.”
The child is also expected to handle difficult domestic duties and financial responsibilities.
Your boundaries were breached
According to HG Tudor, narcissistic parents often breach their children’s boundaries regularly. They do this, for example, by picking and choosing who you hang out with and interfering with different aspects of your life more generally.
“If you try and fight back against this interference, you may well be met with the ignition of fury,” HG Tudor said.
You had to constantly validate them
HG Tudor shared that children of narcissistic parents are used to validating them, with the parent constantly seeking the child’s agreement even when they don’t agree.
The parent might also gossip with the child about other people and flaunt their achievements so that the child remains on the parent’s side.
They had strong favorites
While favoritism doesn’t necessarily mean your parent was a narcissist, favoring one individual in the home over the others could be a sign, even if that individual is the spouse, not another child.
According to HG Tudor, a child of a narcissistic parent would also repeatedly have to compete with their favorite.
They put themselves before you
A narcissistic parent would also likely put their leisure time above their parenting duties which may result in child neglect.
According to HG Tudor it might even go further: “It might be that they create a fake crisis […] in order to cause you to attend to what they require, disrupting your day to day life.”
They shifted the blame on you
The content creator also said that a narcissistic parent is never able to take responsibility for a bad situation and often resorts to blaming others.
HG Tudor gave examples of what parents might say in this situation, saying things like: “You’ve ruined my life. Everything was wonderful until you came along.”
They see your independence as a threat
HG Tudor compared the narcissistic parent with the healthy one, pointing out that while the latter is often aware that their child leaving home is part of the evolution of life, the former might find it a threat.
The YouTuber shared that a narcissistic parent may find the loss of control over their child a threat to their needs.
Your individuality was taken from you
HG Tudor shared that narcissistic parents may dictate important life choices for their child, taking away their individuality and autonomy.
“The commandeering of your achievements also is a means of asserting control over you, to let you remember that you’re only there but for the grace of the narcissist,” he said.
They constantly put you down
“The narcissist can either bolster themselves or cut down other people,” the YouTuber shared.
A narcissistic parent would typically find ways to put you down with excessive criticism, nit picking, or rejection of your personal success. They would often diminish your accomplishments and “no matter what you achieve, you end up being marginalized.”
The narcissistic parent often shamed you
The final point shared by HG Tudor is that a narcissistic parent often shames their child and doesn’t show them empathy. He shared that the narcissistic parent can sometimes be uninterested in helping their child.
“Your reactions, your emotional responses to circumstances are just dismissed,” he shared.
Last Updated on December 24, 2024 by Rachel Backland
