I’m going to sound like a total Grinch to a good chunk of people reading this article, but it’s time we came to terms with the fact that Die Hard just isn’t a Christmas movie.
It shouldn’t be watched in lieu of It’s a Wonderful Life or Scrooge , in fact, it shouldn’t be watched during the holiday season at all. So for once and for all, let’s aim to settle the debate.
RELATED STORIES
To begin with, you can watch *Die Hard* at any time of the year.
Would you watch Scrooged or Elf in the middle of July? Of course, you wouldn’t because that would be insane.
Die Hard , on the contrary, can be queued up at literally any time of the year and you’d never notice a difference.
It’s also far too violent to be considered a Christmas movie.
Call me old fashioned, but I like to keep the bloodshed to a minimum when it comes to my holiday hits.
Watching sprays of machine-gun fire for 90 minutes doesn’t exactly evoke my inner holly jolly.
The Christmas holidays have absolutely nothing to do with the plot or premise.
Die Hard is what I like to call a Christmas-themed movie. Which is, a movie that takes place during the Christmas season but has no direct ties whatsoever to the holiday.
In this sense, it’s more akin to films like Gremlins and Batman Returns than it is to say Christmas Vacation .
And the only person who wears a Santa Claus hat is dead!
I’m sorry but no — Santa can’t die in a Christmas movie.
Even if it’s just some German terrorist wearing a Santa Claus hat, the image is just too unsettling.
There’s absolutely no Christmas magic or miracles to be found.
If I tried to show my Nana Die Hard on Christmas Eve, she’d have to double up on her blood pressure medication.
Let’s be honest, you don’t walk away from Die Hard with renewed feelings of joy and optimism.
If you’re still unsure, ask yourselves this question: is *Lethal Weapon* a Christmas movie?
The two films are practically identical for all yuletide intent and purpose, yet no one ever goes to battle over the Christmas merits of Lethal Weapon .
So why do we defend Die Hard so adamantly?
Finally, Bruce Willis admitted that *Die Hard* isn’t a Christmas movie.
During the Comedy Central Roast of Bruce Willis , Bruce didn’t mince words. He loudly and proudly proclaimed for all to hear ” Die Hard is not a Christmas movie! It’s a god-damned Bruce Willis movie!”
So don’t just take it from me, take it from John McClane himself: Die Hard is NOT a Christmas movie.
