Secret Savings Account: Prudent Planning or Betrayal in Marriage?

Meet our 28-year-old heroine, married for 8 years to her 32-year-old husband. Their marriage might seem ordinary, but there’s a twist: she’s been secretly stashing away money in a personal savings account, preparing for a potential divorce. While she sees it as a safety net, her best friend labels it as disloyalty. Is she being prudent or is this a betrayal? Let’s dive into her story. ️‍♀️

A Unique Marriage

The Financial Setup

The Secret Savings Account

The Reason Behind the Secret

The Unresolved Issues

The Emotional Distance

The Exit Plan

The Accusation of Disloyalty

The Dilemma of Leaving Now or Later ‍♀️

The Legal Aspects and the Moral Quandary ⚖️

A Secret Savings Account: Safety Net or Betrayal? ‍♀️

Our 28-year-old heroine finds herself in a moral quandary. She’s been secretly saving money, preparing for a potential divorce from her husband of 8 years. While she views this as a safety net, her best friend sees it as a betrayal. With a marriage strained by intimacy issues and emotional struggles, she’s unsure whether to stay and hope for improvement or to leave. Now, she’s left wondering if her secret savings account is a prudent safety measure or a betrayal to her struggling spouse. Let’s see how the internet weighs in on this complex situation…

INFO: Stuck in an unhappy relationship? Time to prioritize yourself!

Protecting secret savings in divorce? NTA, but consider therapy.

>We coexist but I don’t feel like I’m in a relationship anymore and I’m not sure how to fix it when he refuses to open up to me. I am hopeful therapy might help and I am giving this time, but I also feel better having an exit plan.

Ok first off, you’ve given it 5 years. Do you really think he’s going to change in 5 years? You started as teenagers and then he changed and you changed, as people naturally do in their 20s. What’s happened is that you’re no longer compatible.

Sex is a healthy natural part of a living committed relationship. Being asexual is fine, but your needs aren’t second to his. not being able to share that crucial thing in your relationship, honestly isn’t healthy at all.

Not to mention the fact that he’s not even willing to discuss it or alternatives, why are you thinking anything is going to change? You’re talking about therapy, but therapy can’t/won’t change the fact that he’s asexual, that’s not something you can really fix (or should). So what good does therapy do you?

In 5 years has he really made any effort for you? What about your needs for affection and love and attention? Sex is not just a physical need, for many it’s an emotional need, a way to share and connect with their partner. And you’ve missed out on that for 5 years.

I know it’s not easy to leave. And I’m not saying it has to be right now. But your whole life is passing you by, and you haven’t really found your life partner yet, why wait? You have that account because you want to separate, maybe it’s a subconscious truth but it’s the truth, you wouldn’t have that account if you didn’t imagine yourself being out of this relationship.

NTA, but please, it’s ok to put your needs first.

This isn’t a rough patch, this is the terrain.

Saving secretly for a rainy day: fair or risky move?

OP, YTA for hiding savings, but consider leaving for happiness

NTA. Roommate or partner? Evaluate your relationship before it’s too late!

YTA for lying to yourself and not facing your marriage issues.

NAH. Independence and communication are key to a healthy relationship.

NTA, but a sexless marriage is a recipe for disaster

Divorce horror story: spouse drains joint accounts, freezes assets

Staying in a loveless marriage? Find happiness elsewhere!

NTA. Your money, your rules. But consider legal implications.

Smart move or betrayal? NTA has a contingency plan.

“Noooooo NTA! Stand your ground and trust your instincts! “

NTA – Keeping an emergency account for sanity in a loveless marriage.

Pragmatic NTA saves for a ‘fresh start fund’ amidst joint savings

YTA: Incompatible partners, future divorce, wasted time. Just end it.

No sex at 28? Time to pull the plug!

Smart move! Don’t be trapped. Prioritize your own happiness.

Choose happiness. Put yourself first. Don’t waste your precious life.

Close the account, protect yourself, and move on. Best of luck!

NTA: Lack of communication led to questioning and relationship issues.

Escape a loveless marriage and find happiness with someone new!

NTA. Don’t wait for change, find someone who desires you!

Having a secret savings account: Prudent planning or betrayal?

NTA: Unhappy in a sexless relationship, time to move on.

Sex issues causing unhappiness in marriage. Time to reconsider relationship?

NTA. Secret savings for divorce

Evaluate your relationship, find happiness, and decide what you want.

NTA, keep your savings separate and consult your attorney for divorce.

“NTA. But be careful about saving money for divorce. Talk to a lawyer first! “

Still caring for ex but happier in current marriages.

NTA: Secret savings for emergencies and advice on leaving.

NTA. Leave for happiness. Separate accounts, split joint. No hiding.

Time to take control of your life and break free!

“NTA. Saving money was your choice, but what about intimacy? “

NTA. Incompatible spouses. Prioritize mental health. Consider legal advice.

Having a secret savings account: Prudent planning or betrayal?

NTA. Planning for the worst while hoping for the best

NAH. Sexually incompatible and agreed upon finances. Leave angry man.

NTA for setting aside fun money, prioritize therapy for success

NTA: Discussing asexual partner’s bad attitude and moving on together.

Building a secret savings account for emergencies is a smart move

Having a secret savings account can be a smart move

INFO: Seeking solutions for sexual fulfillment in a troubled marriage.

Empowering women with financial independence

Engaging comment advocating for open marriage and self-love ❤️

Hidden savings: Trust or betrayal?

Curious about husband’s lack of desire for sex, potential asexuality

Roommates, not soulmates. It’s time to find true compatibility.

Mixed feelings about leaving a relationship.

NTA for saving money, but incompatible with spending habits.

“Save for safety, but be honest with yourself and spouse.”

YTA for staying in a loveless marriage

Are you truly helping by staying in an unhappy marriage?

“YTA You’re stringing him along when you’re so sure you’re headed for divorce that you’re putting together a down payment on a house for yourself. Pretending you’re giving him a chance isn’t being nice. It’s being selfish.”

Partner wants to leave, but is it fair or selfish?

“YTA – Hiding money in marriage? That’s betrayal! “

NTA suggests marriage counseling.

NTA: The hero we need in this marriage drama!

Having a secret savings account is smart, but relationship counseling needed.

Protect your treasure: stash some cash for a rainy day!

Are you prioritizing your marriage over your partner?

NTA and completely sensible.

Commenter suggests moving post to relationshipadvice sub.

Honesty vs. Deception: A Safety Net or Betrayal in Marriage?

Having a secret savings account? NTA! Secure your future

Financial independence empowers women in relationships.

NTA. Secret savings account: financial security or marital betrayal?

Separate savings accounts can be healthy, but is love missing?

Choosing between friendship and marriage.

Having your own savings is a smart move! No A-holes here.

Smart move! Protect yourself and seek therapy for your feelings.

YTA: Staying in a uncertain marriage hurts both of you.