A Redditor recently asked if she was in the wrong after a bit of a dustup with her mom.
The issue, in a nutshell, is that OP’s (Original Poster) mom refuses to pronounce the name of OP’s daughter correctly.
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It sounds simple enough, but there’s a lot of baggage to unpack here.
The mom broke with tradition.
“I’m named after my mother, just like she’s named after hers,” explains OP. This would create some level of expectation that OP gives her daughter the same name to keep the tradition going.
However, OP and her mom do not have a good relationship.
“So when I got pregnant with a girl, I very deliberately gave her a different name,” explained OP. “The context of the name is also key, because it’s a book character whose epithet is ‘curse breaker’, as in I will do anything to break the curse of [crappy] mother/daughter relationships in my line.”
OP’s mom obviously took exception.
The daughter’s name is ‘Sierra.’ see-AIR-ah . Seems simple enough, but OP’s mom constantly pronounces her name as “Sarah.”
“At the beginning, I nicely tried to walk her through the pronunciation, and she could say the syllables correctly, and then could say the name correctly,” explained OP. “Until the next time.”
Eventually, things came to a head.
While OP’s mom tried to shrug it off at first, she eventually said, “This wouldn’t even be a problem if you had named her [our name],” which kind of laid things bare.
At this point, things have been going on for four years. OP wants to know if she’s in the wrong for choosing “my daughter’s name as my hill to die on.”
The verdict is in.
The overwhelming majority of responses concluded that OP was totally justified in this scenario. Many asked why she even bothered dealing with her mom.
“Why have you put up with her mispronouncing your daughter’s name for the past four years?” one commenter asked .
OP notes that she gets along well with her dad, and generally needs some parental support as her daughter’s dad isn’t in the picture.
“Your mother is being intentionally difficult, petty and disrespectful.”
“In light of your mother’s unwillingness to pronounce your daughter’s name correctly, you can teach your daughter to tell her what my mother taught me to say to people who mispronounced my name,” advised one commenter. “‘My name is Sierra, if that’s too difficult for you, then you may call me Miss [surname].’ It works like a charm to this day.”
“As your daughter gets older, this will become a form of abuse.”
Another commenter pointed out that this deliberate mispronouncing will likely take its toll on OP’s daughter’s psychological health.
“This is a good boundary to draw for your mother to respect both you and your daughter,” they noted . “The fact that your mother gets mad is a good sign that what you are doing is making an impact on her. I think you’ve found a fantastic way to deal with her.”
How would you handle this situation?
Disputes with parents can be difficult to navigate, particularly when there’s a lot of baggage that still needs to be unpacked.
Reddit has confirmed that OP is in the right, but what do you think? Check out the thread and then share your thoughts in the comments.
