You know those contestants on reality shows that are complete jerks, but try to use the excuse that they are “just being honest”? I’ve always hated those people.
You see, I am definitely one of those people that believes honesty is the best policy. Like, if an outfit really doesn’t flatter my friend, I’m going to tell them instead of letting them spend a bunch of money, but I’m not going to be an asshole about it.
There is a difference between tact and sugarcoating, though.
Sugarcoating feels like lying, even when it’s the truth. Like, it takes so long to get around to the bad news that you’ve kind of made it worse.
Admittedly, in my quest to avoid sugarcoating, I probably default to sarcasm a little too often.
Sometimes, I just think life would be far more interesting if people were honest more.
Would some relationships be doomed by this?
Yes, but is it even a real relationship if so-called “politeness” just means letting your loved one leave the house in an outfit that actually makes them look three sizes bigger than they are?
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I know the joke is that guys should just tell their partners they look good in everything, but a great partner is honest.
But they are also smart about that honesty.
“That dress makes your butt look huge!” isn’t going to make anyone feel good about themselves. However, “I love that color on you, but I don’t think the cut flatters your best features,” is honest without being rude.
The same goes for friends and family.
Entire decades of potential good times were lost with my extended family because one person lied about everyone else and no one else was willing to just have the hard, honest talk.
So no, I’m not going to hide the truth behind false platitudes or politeness. I’m going to say what I think in a constructive way, admit when I make mistakes, and probably default to sarcasm a bit too much.
But I’m going to do my very best to not be an asshole.