Any situation where one person is showered with gifts can become socially awkward for any number of reasons.
An anonymous mom-to-be recently shared her frustrations with people who don’t buy from the registry when they’re invited to a baby shower.
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She posed a question, along with some thoughts on the matter, in a post on a moms’ forum.
“Am I wrong to think people who attend baby showers should only buy things from the registry?”
This is the question the expectant mom asks.
“Am I wrong for feeling that if people don’t buy off of the registry for the baby shower that I made specifically of things my baby and I will NEED and guest choose to buy other things that we didn’t ask for, we should receive receipts so we can return the items we don’t need and get what we actually need and asked for in the first place?” she adds.
“I don’t want to sound ungrateful, but I personally feel that baby showers are to benefit the mother and father by saving them money in the long run, correct?”
She explains that, in her view, the point of a registry is to get parents stuff they need for the baby, and that buying random, non-registry stuff defeats the purpose.
“Am I wrong?”
This is how she concludes her post. The comments reveal that, yes, many people do in fact think she’s wrong.
“You are supposed to take what you get and appreciate it. It’s the thought that counts.”
This was the prevailing theme of some of the top comments: be grateful, because you’re getting a bunch of stuff for free.
Even if something wasn’t on the registry, it’s something the couple didn’t have to pay for.
“I’m glad that people don’t always stick to the registry. I had people get me things I completely forgot to register for or didn’t even cross my mind to get.”
This is an interesting response, and it raises a good point. Parents, especially first-time parents, might not be aware of certain things that could be total life-savers.
Someone who’s had kids before might go off-registry for something that’s truly useful.
“Maybe ‘your taste’ is expensive. You should buy the necessity items yourself.”
It’s awkward when you’re invited to a wedding or baby shower but everything on the registry is crazy expensive.
Sometimes you like someone enough to buy them some Walmart baby clothes, but not enough to buy them Louis Vuitton baby clothes, y’know?
“I agree that those types of gifts should come with reciepts but a baby shower is to celebrate the new life not buy you [stuff].”
While this is kinda-sorta true, it’s also true that one of the points of baby showers is to give the parents-to-be a leg up with a few gifts.
“Happened to me. I got enough clothes to clothe four kids, but the actual stuff I needed about 70% of my registry was untouched.”
I thought this reply was agreeing with OP, then it continues:
“BUT I appreciated all the clothes, and was able to get what I needed.”
“Baby showers are about celebrating the baby. No one else decided to have a kid — they don’t have to get you anything.”
“Be glad they want to celebrate your pregnancy and your journey to motherhood,” the commenter continued. “Registries are for ideas — not a shopping list.”
“I would hate to be your friend.”
That’s a bit harsh, but maybe fair? This commenter goes on to mock OP for “run[ning] to Facebook to be ungrateful for people even spending their money on you in the first place.”
“I’m stuff-particular too.”
But this commenter goes on to chastise OP for not being more thankful. They also point out that babies grow fast, and that super expensive clothing isn’t really necessary.
The verdict is in.
It seems like commenters overwhelmingly agreed that OP was being selfish.
Let us know what you think in the comments: is she being reasonable or not? Is there a middle ground here?
