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    Dad carrying child on his shoulders (Unsplash | Kelly Sikkema)

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    Unsplash | Kenrick Mills

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    Unsplash | Aubrey Odom-Mabey

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    TikTok | @thewirelady

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    Unsplash | Katie Smith

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    Instagram | @lacroixwater

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    Unsplash | Aubrey Odom-Mabey

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    TikTok | @thewirelady

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13+ People Who Took One Too Many Shortcuts

by Paddy Clarke
5 years ago
in Humor
Reading Time: 11 mins read
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Taking shortcuts is a part of being human! No one really has time to read all of the instructions, or use all of the pieces when assembling furniture, do they? Without shortcuts, life would be tedious…and much more efficient.

However, that aside, please enjoy reveling in the misfortune of these 13+ people who took one too many shortcuts!

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“Free masons.”

Image credit: Reddit | PlasticTone
Reddit | PlasticTone

I do like how they put up their string lines for measurements and then just completely ignored them!

Genius!

Image credit: Reddit | uae-me
Reddit | uae-me

I mean, one thing is for sure, no one is going to be picking that lock! Or even getting into it with the keys, for that matter!

“My buddy teaches English in China, his student might be cheating on google translate…”

Image credit: Reddit | Hash_man
Reddit | Hash_man

I can’t believe this student missed the obvious trick of putting the phrase back through the translator in order to make sure they’re definitely right. Rookie mistake.

“Old roommate punched a hole in the door. New roommate fixed it.”

Image credit: Reddit | morbidhoagie
Reddit | morbidhoagie

“Heeerrreeee’s Roomie!”

“…Please, John, I’m begging you to just fix the damn door.”

“Mistakes were made. The dog got into the weed cookies. Money was spent. Doggo is fine. Owner feels dumb.”

Image credit: Reddit | Sorrymateay
Reddit | Sorrymateay

Seems like this dog owner really needs to find a more secure place for his edibles. If a dog this small can get at them, then that is way too accessible!

“Owner used the wrong shampoo (it’s hair dye).”

Image credit: Reddit | AbanaClara
Reddit | AbanaClara

The dog’s expression on the right looks like he’s wondering, “why the hell is everyone laughing at me so much?”

“He chewed a hole in the cardboard box, chewed a hole into the beer, and now he’s passed out.”

Image credit: Reddit | SuperCub
Reddit | SuperCub

That dog looks like it is going to have one hell of a hangover in the morning. Can’t imagine what a dog with a hangover would be like. And frankly, I don’t want to.

“I asked my 95-year-old grandma where she kept the salt and she said ‘I barely use salt, but it’s way in the back of the cabine.'”

Image credit: Reddit | cswimc
Reddit | cswimc

That is a packet of salt from 1965! I wonder how it tasted. I mean, does salt go bad?

“Someone sent this Macbook in for repairs today. Looks legit.”

Image credit: Reddit | SteveRyherd
Reddit | SteveRyherd

“My MacBook is broken!”

“What’s wrong with it?”

“It keeps playing ‘Someone Like You’!”

“Ah, I see your problem. It’s A-Dell.”

“At my local nursery.”

Image credit: Reddit | m4rceline
Reddit | m4rceline

Do not try and hold the bird under any circumstances. Any attempts to get around this will result in injury, as they clearly have so many times before.

“Changed Later.”

Image credit: Reddit | Loganian29738
Reddit | Loganian29738

“My, you’re one hell of an adventurer! What’s your name?”

“The name’s Later. Changed Later.”

“Just spray it quickly dude, I don’t need you to rub it in!”

Image credit: Reddit | Dfro123
Reddit | Dfro123

How many people out there have been in this exact situation? You can never mess around when it comes to sunburn!

“Fixed my landlord’s house after a storm knocked down a tree onto my house. Not sure if he’ll be satisfied.”

Image credit: Reddit | seventeenweewees
Reddit | seventeenweewees

This person is bringing 3D visual art forms to new levels. Although, I wonder how the outside of the house looks on the other side of that wall? There’s probably just a massive tree leaning against the house still.

“The moment you realize you used the wrong spray…”

Image credit: Reddit | noiwontpickaname
Reddit | noiwontpickaname

This is why you always read the can twice! Although, just spray down some green paint and you should be sound.

“Aunt says i cheat at dominos by looking at the smudges on the back of the dominos, so every time we play, she washes the dominos.”

Image credit: Reddit | Roseandwolf
Reddit | Roseandwolf

Now, that is an insane level of paranoia to have! I mean, my family are such prolific cheaters that we could probably do with putting something like this in place.

“Oh. Sorry to have gotten those mixed up…”

Image credit: Reddit | pelelaka
Reddit | pelelaka

Pffft, what kind of fool would mix up those two completely different things? How very embarrassing!

“Every year at Thanksgiving, I’fix’ my aunts computer. I have a feeling she’s not keeping up with my advice.”

Image credit: Reddit | carveit3
Reddit | carveit3

I like this person’s aunt’s style! I, too, am a big fan of hitting the “Remind me later” button whenever it comes to anything to do with the computer!

“I haven’t eaten a big Mac in 10 years and now I remember why.”

Image credit: Reddit | Mr_MooseMan____
Reddit | Mr_MooseMan____

These vegetarian Big Macs are looking pretty sad if you ask me.

“That escalated quickly.”

Image credit: Reddit | humdrum_humphrey
Reddit | humdrum_humphrey

One thing is for sure, this kid does not have any issues with confidence! It’s one hell of a jump in ambitions though.

“Grandpa fixed the broken arm on my daughter’s mermaid doll.”

Image credit: Reddit | meepsmops
Reddit | meepsmops

Now their granddaughter’s mermaid doll has a touch of the terminator about it, and I think that can only be a good thing!

“Shower pole fell while I was at work. Tobey tried to ‘fix’ it with a box of French Toast Crunch. It didn’t work.”

Image credit: Reddit | TurnTwo
Reddit | TurnTwo

Tobey looks so confused as to why his cereal box didn’t help to fix the issue. I wish everything could be fixed with cereal, Tobey. The world would be a much better place.

“Just finished a DIY repair on my iPhone. This is the worst feeling in the world.”

Image credit: Reddit | ilagnum
Reddit | ilagnum

Sometimes the smallest and most unintentional shortcuts can lead to the most devastating outcomes! This phone is clearly about to burst into flames because of this missing screw.

“My client’s daughter cut her own hair. I am a hairdresser. She asked me if I could fix it. NOPE.”

Image credit: Reddit | snipandclip
Reddit | snipandclip

Looks like that little girl is experiencing a little bit of shock at the realization of what she has done. She’s going to be rocking a combover for a long time!

“This cat lost vision in one eye, but thanks to modern technological advancements, his vision was repaired.”

Image credit: Reddit | xindigothoughtsx
Reddit | xindigothoughtsx

You may now call it the six million dollar cat! (I have no idea if Six Million Dollar Man references still land. I mean, it was shown in the ’70s which doesn’t bode well…)

“Fixed it for you.”

Image credit: Reddit | Arrozdruid
Reddit | Arrozdruid

Which is going to be easier to replace? I do quite like how the kid is looking at the TV like an abstract artist may look at a canvas after finishing a painting.

“DIY spring loaded door.”

Image credit: Reddit | tnick771
Reddit | tnick771

I mean, it’s definitely not the sleekest thing that I’ve ever seen, but it looks pretty damn effective!

“A car hit the office building I work in yesterday. Came to work [and] found this gem.”

Image credit: Reddit | Sariel007
Reddit | Sariel007

If people put half the amount of effort into fixing things that they put into turning things into jokes for the internet, the world would run a lot smoother! Although, it would be a much sadder place.

“Impeccable sidewalk repair!”

Image credit: Reddit | trololbaus
Reddit | trololbaus

This one hurts my brain. How could anyone let this fly? Just find the original brick style! I am genuinely upset by this.

“I have been cheated!”

Image credit: Reddit | alpninja
Reddit | alpninja

Hey, fortune cookies need a break too, okay? Do you know how much of a toll telling everyone their fortune can take on the mind?

“Scott made it easy again this year.”

Image credit: Reddit | anti_climax
Reddit | anti_climax

This would still stress me out because he didn’t say what kind of gift card. Food? Coffee? A retail store? You spelled it out for me but I still need more details, please!

“My mom found out my dad has been cheating and since they don’t exactly make cards for this occasion I had to improvise.”

Image credit: Reddit | Citrous_Oyster
Reddit | Citrous_Oyster

The poster reported back and said that his mom loved the card, which makes me happy to hear because I think I’d find it tough to retain any sense of humor in that scenario.

“Nice set of chrome rims.”

Image credit: Reddit | ilovebigplanes
Reddit | ilovebigplanes

You either get a job at Google that gets you chrome rims, or you get a job at Google that gets you these chrome rims.

“I’ve mistaken its purpose all this time.”

Image credit: Reddit | Grtkat22
Reddit | Grtkat22

I wish I could wear a little tag at work essentially stating I don’t want to do the work I was hired for. Would make life a lot easier.

:My 30 year old brother made this for my mom this Mother’s Day.”

Image credit: Reddit | delpheroid
Reddit | delpheroid

Listen, by the time you hit 30 you’ve done every good Mother’s Day gift. Flowers? Done. Dinner? Done. Sometimes you just have to return to the classics.

“Lol this is so easy.”

Image credit: Reddit | bilal-282
Reddit | bilal-282

Real talk, those people who do newspaper crosswords like, every morning? You’re so strong. I wake up and can barely remember my own name, how do you manage it?

“Nice try, deadly poison.”

Image credit: Reddit | kabukistar
Reddit | kabukistar

While I’m sure the intentions behind the word “harmless” were just that – harmless – you have to know by now how suspicious that sounds.

“I dropped a box of spaghetti on the ground and accidentally graduated from Art School.”

Image credit: Reddit | Man_E_No
Reddit | Man_E_No

All that talent without the tens of thousands of dollars spent! The next step is to glue this all together and sell it for millions.

“I ordered Cards Against Humanity’s 5th Expansion, or at least I thought.”

Image credit: Reddit | mcmeekin91
Reddit | mcmeekin91

Man, can you imagine having a job where you’re totally allowed to call people dumb? And then give them free stuff for being dumb? I’d never wanna go home.

“Someone abandoned their slimfast in the candy aisle.”

Image credit: Reddit | mcostlun
Reddit | mcostlun

At least they can say they tried. That’s about all they can say, though.

“Buddy of mine thought of a decent name for his moving service.”

Image credit: Reddit | radatada
Reddit | radatada

He sure did. You think I wouldn’t hire this company in a heartbeat? Forget the actual service, I want my furniture transported by someone cool.

“My wife is smokin’ hot so I picked the shower curtain.”

Image credit: Reddit | ryencokez
Reddit | ryencokez

Hold on, is that a vase with flowers on the corner of their bath? Does that read as weird to anyone else or am I just not fancy enough to truly appreciate it?

“Easy meal prep ideas.”

Image credit: Reddit | ShadowsDecoy
Reddit | ShadowsDecoy

Man, this meal prep stuff is easy. It’s supposed to make me healthier, right? I can’t believe just picking my burgers ahead of time has so many benefits.

“My son figured out this trick today!”

Image credit: Reddit | TheFidget99
Reddit | TheFidget99

I know a lot of people will be looking at this and recognizing this as something that their sibling would do!

“My 9 year old daughter thought she was funny. Made me some Brownies for Father’s Day.”

Image credit: Reddit | str8emulated
Reddit | str8emulated

And she was right. You’re gonna tell me this isn’t hilarious? What kind of father are you, unable to see a prime dad joke when it’s laid out before you.

“Hello? Is this the shop that previously worked on this Nissan and left half the bolts out of the subframe, trans pan, and loose mounts? Yeah just wanted to let you know I found your phone.”

Image credit: Reddit | Franklyimfrank
Reddit | Franklyimfrank

If you’re going to do a half-arsed job on a car, or maybe try and strip something down for parts before giving it back to the owner, then don’t leave your phone inside.

Tags: Humor

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