Usually, to be banned from any sort of establishment, you really have to raise a big stink. Throw a fit, have a temper tantrum , whatever it is that gets you riled up enough that you have to be escorted out and told not to come back.
However, that isn’t always the case. Thanks to an AskReddit post asking people to share why they were banned from somewhere, we now have plenty of stories of people’s adventures that got them barred from returning somewhere.
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Turned away at the door.
“I tried to pay my cover (entry fee) to a bar one time with two dollar bills and instead of taking my money the bouncer told me to leave in a not super polite manner.”
Due diligence.
“Banned from the college cafeteria for taking in a digital food safety thermometer, and a copy of the state health department temperature ranges.
They were consistently 20°F-40°F low, and food poisoning was a common problem.”
It wasn’t me!
“I drunkenly stumbled into the big pyramid of wine glasses that were, for some reason, stacked on the side of the bar… After they all fell and smashed everywhere causing a huge scene I proceeded to tell the bartender that it wasn’t me. Two seconds later I was in a headlock being dragged outside by a large bouncer.”
Too good to be true.
“When I was 12 my favorite thing to do was play laser tag at the one laser tag place in our town. I’d go every Friday night and play for 3 hours or so. There weren’t many other regular players, so nobody else was getting better at it like I was. After about a year I was just wrecking everyone and the owner ended up banning me from the place because it was driving away customers.”
The almost perfect crime.
“This is how I got banned from Chuck E Cheese.
I figured out that I could take a ball from the game where you shoot the clown’s teeth and use it at the skeeball machine. The skeeball machine would count the points but not the ball used, which enabled me to play forever with just one ball and max out the machine. I did it on two skeeball machines before someone noticed and I got banned/kicked out.”
The call’s coming from within the house.
“Got banned from the mall when I was younger because I wore an inappropriate shirt that I bought in the mall.”
Nickle and diming.
“Taking pictures of produce and price signs at a small grocery store while shopping. I was just trying to keep track of which stores had which food at cheaper prices so I could plan my shopping trips.”
Two of a feather.
“Was banned from a Mall arcade when I was a kid for holding all the [whack-a-moles] down.”
Someone with another whack-a-mole-themed story replied, “I got banned for using two hammers at [whack-a-mole]. Two games side by side, both hammers reached each game. They said I cheated, took my tickets and banned me.”
Baby’s first crime.
“Got banned from a local KMart about 25yrs ago for figuring out that if you just slapped the handle on the old twist turn candy dispensers that took a quarter it would just give you free candy…
Yeah they call that stealing. Took my photo and everything.”
Setting boundaries.
“My longtime barber had oozing pink eye and I merely told him I’d come back the next week. He told me not to come back at all.”
Spreading a powerful message.
“They probably don’t remember, but I’m technically not allowed back in the Foggy Goggle in Boston.
My friends and I did mind erasers (sweet booze with a straw that one drinks quickly) and decided that the entire bar needed to hear ‘I Believe in a Thing Called Love’ sung at full voice. The staff did not agree. We were escorted out shortly after the song ended and asked to not return.”
Actions, meet consequences.
“Also a fun story of someone who wasn’t my friend but who I used to run track with. He thought it would be hilarious to put a pebble inside a piece of gum and throw it out the window of the bus on the way to a track meet. Thought it would just stick to the windshield […] Ended up shattering part of the windshield because we are in a bus going mf 55 miles per hour. […] Kid was banned from track, not sure if he was banned from the bus though.”
Making the hike.
“I was banned from the library as a kid. Overdue fees, […] I was an avid reader and my mom hated taking me to the library, always said she would and then changed her mind last minute. It was a 6 mile walk round trip so I would take a wheeled suitcase and get around 25 [books] at a time, the fees added up fast.”
Her just desserts.
“Banned from a Costco when they had free samples this woman took 8 slices of cheesecake when there was a line up of like 7 of us… so I tipped her plate over. They got why I did it, but still I had to [not] go for 6 months.”
Raising concerns.
“I used to work at a sushi restaurant. I got fired/banned because I told the manager that some of the food smelled like it was expired and maybe we should throw it out. Next thing I know, she’s giving me my check and kicking me out.”
For the love of garlic butter.
“[My] family has been banned from a local Marcos pizza for yeaaars because of my mom. she used to have some anger issues and also really really loves garlic butter. [When] the Marcos forgot to include the garlic butter with the order she called and asked them to deliver the single cup of garlic butter to our house. The Marcos (reasonably) said they can’t do that, but she could come get it. She stormed over there with our pizza and proceeded to smear the whole thing on their windows and counters.”
A little sensitive.
“I got banned from the local orthodontist because during an appointment my mom asked the doctor why her degree was from the US (we live in France). She was genuinely curious and just wanted to talk but for some reason the doctor took it really badly, he insulted my mom while I had the cheek retractor in my mouth and left the room.”
Getting recognition.
“I got banned from Walmart probably 22 years ago for grabbing one of the microphones and broadcasting over the store that it was closing in 10 minutes, and the dogs will be released shortly after
The security guard told me that it was hilarious, but I’m not welcome back lol.”
Well, in hindsight…
“I was banned from K mart. A friend and I went to the local one and took one of those air duster can things and froze bouncy b***s with it. […] We froze bouncy b***s and shattered them. [On] the ground. We did it to 2 of them. We were both banned. We were also 17 at the time. We were idiots.”
A winged flood.
“Feeding the seagulls. We ruined the entire upper [deck’s] dining experience with a few french fries. Dozens, maybe 100 swarmed. It was like a scene from The Birds . People had to evacuate.”
Last Updated on February 12, 2022 by Daniel Mitchell-Benoit
