While arranged marriages aren’t a new concept, they are foreign to many.
This is when a family ultimately decides who will marry their son or daughter, often for cultural reasons.
The engaged couple doesn’t have much time to get to know each other. It could be months, weeks, or even minutes. In many cases, they take a page from Love Is Blind and marry sight unseen.
Curious as to what this married life is like? Here, people in arranged marriages share all the deets.
1. The first choice
Not all arranged marriages happen quickly. Some take time (and a lot of difficult decisions) like this one Redditor who initially rejected her husband.
After feeling off with other suitors, she returned to her first match. Finally, saying yes felt right.
2. The two words
“Met my husband on the 9th, agreed to marry him on the 15th, and were wed on the 20th. Literally said about two words to each other, and that was with five members of his family present. Been together 13+ years. It had its ups and downs, like I imagine any marriage would- arranged or not. We are very good together. He tries to makes me happy in any way he can.” – u/ Kittiesandunicorns
3. The co-workers
Since divorce isn’t an option in many arranged marriages, some couples are forced to live unhappily.
That’s the reason this Redditor witnessed a lot of yelling from his parents. He wrote that they are more like co-workers than anything else since they worked together to raise the kids.
4. The loveless marriage
“My parents are in an arranged marriage. Lots of fighting due to in-laws occurred and now they just find anything to fight about. They’ve gotten better but I had times when I’d wish they just divorced. I wouldn’t be able to sleep because of their loud drunken fights at 2 AM.” – u/ dawtroo
5. The Yu-Gi-Oh! deck
“It’s like playing Yugioh with a store deck you got for Christmas, sometimes the cards don’t seem very good but you learn to work with them and find their strengths.” – u/ Swift_Jolteon
That makes sense to me!
6. The blind dates
“I met five girls on the first day… And 4 on the second. Picked one that I felt I clicked with. Met her a couple more times .. Felt she was the one. Just celebrating our 3rd anniversary.” – u/ mauut
7. The matchmaker
One Redditor finds that “match-making” is a better term for their arranged marriage.
That’s because they were friends with their wife for more than 10 years before they got married. After their parents decided that they would be a good match, their parents picked a date for an official engagement.
8. The quickie wedding
“Married 14 years, very happily. We met for about 30 minutes before we both agreed to marry each other. We did not go out on dates as I was visiting India at the time and our families decided to have the marriage before I left.” – u/ SolGuy
9. The new model
Do you know how some men trade in a car for a new model? Well, this Redditor traded in a girlfriend for a new wife. Sorta.
After he broke up with an amazing girl, his family matched him up with someone even more amazing. He expressed that the love he thought he knew with that girl before doesn’t even compare with the love he has now.
10. The choice
“In my case, I mentioned to my parents that I liked the girl, and they proceeded with everything else. I was pretty involved and know that my wife was OK with the proposal, so there was nothing forced about it.” -u/ swagcoffin
11. The sickness
Since one man’s arrange wife was groomed for marriage early on, she had no other interests and couldn’t carry on a conversation. This made him hate her.
But when she got very sick and he cared for her, they began to fall in love and respect one another.
12. The best decision
“Best decision I ever made, and, yes, one of the scariest. Brought up Hindu in the West. Parents put ad in the paper (hinting at how old I am) Fifteen minutes of actual face-to-face time before the wedding. That was 20 years and 3 kids ago. She is my rock.” – u/ Koenigss15
13. The secret girlfriend
One Redditor cheated the system by having his parents arrange a marriage with his secret girlfriend!
The same thing happened with his dad since he also married his secret girlfriend. I mean, that’s one way of doing things.
14. The soulmate
“I am forever grateful to my parents for arranging it. I feel like he is my soulmate and I would have never found him without them. That’s not to say we don’t have our little fights and arguments, but which married couple doesn’t?” -u/deleted
15. The fake father
This next story is pretty tragic, as a woman shared that she was impregnated due to a forced sexual encounter.
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Since her family didn’t want to break the illusion of having a good family, they found a guy in his 40s with no kids of his own.
They arranged to have her date him with the understanding that they would be married by the time she gave birth.
Thankfully, her husband turned out to be a great man and a wonderful father. Even though she never would’ve chosen him had it not been for her situation, she’s happy.
16. The first cousins
“My parents are first cousins. Got married in their mid-twenties. Arranged. They have had no problems. They’ve raised their kids well. At the moment they’re next to me talking about my mom’s trig hw she’s taking at community college.” – u/ jepranav
17. The non-existent sex life
When you’re not able to test drive the, uh, merchandise, it’s hard to know if the sexual chemistry is there.
Sadly, it hasn’t been for one couple. They had sex twice and then that was it.
18. The amazing…ly horrible marriage
“I was involved in an arranged marriage when I turned 22 years. I had met her just once before and 8 years later we are still together and still have yet to make love. I’m also American.” – u/ vballrlz101
