What is toxic masculinity , exactly?
Well, if you don’t know what it is, you’re a weakling and a coward and barely a man at all.
RELATED STORIES
…sorry. That sentence was actually an example of toxic masculinity, which is something that’s been getting a lot of attention recently. If you want to turn things on their head and be an exemplar of positive masculinity, check out the r/AskReddit thread, ” What are your favorite examples of positive masculinity? “
Giving off good vibes.
“Sometimes you see a guy just being and giving a off a ‘danger’ vibe, then they get aware of your presence and their entire body language morphs into ‘I mean no harm’ without acknowledging you otherwise.”
Being there for a friend in need.
“I was at a party with my friend and in the corner I saw 2 guys, guy 1 was throwing up into a trash can while guy 2 was helping him and stuff. Best people ever guy 1 and 2 were both really kind.”
Taking charge in a positive way.
“If you’re talking about traditional masculinity, using your strength to protect and help others, even in small ways. Teaching outspoken-ness and self reliance (this does have to be balanced out with patience, listening, and the ability to ask for help). Many forms of teamwork. Taking charge when needed to lead a community.”
Sharing joy.
“Sometimes when men hug while watching a game (or similar situations) and something good happens, I can’t help but think it’s adorable lol. I think it’s because they’re so genuinely happy.”
Being truthful.
“Telling the truth. Even when the consequences can be damaging to the person that is willing to put themselves on the line. And calm and understanding in the face of danger/ close calls.”
Supporting their partner.
“My husband is my biggest supporter when it comes to my career. He’s like my hype man when I’m doubting myself. I value it so much. (Side note: I earn more and if anything, it just makes him prouder).”
– u/bobot_
Not feeling the need to be alpha.
“I’m a smaller gay guy, 5’6″ and on the skinnier side. I’ve always really respected the straight jock type guys that don’t try to act like the tough guy or be intimidating when I meet them. There’s a lot of nonverbal cues that I see on both sides and it’s very clear when someone is treating me like an equal, can have a genuine conversation, and isn’t the ‘alpha male’ type that needs to puff out his chest and try to rip my arm off when they shake my hand.”
Looking past the conflict.
“The Brown-Stigler Incident. A German Bf-109 pilot (Stigler) not only spared a crippled American B-17 (Brown), he escorted it out of German airspace. Both men survived the war and became close friends until their deaths.”
Expressing love.
“My bros and friends are all hood but we’ve got into the habit of saying ‘love you’ whenever we leave. We’ve lost so many friends and family the last few years (not due to covid).”
Not being afraid to do ‘girly’ stuff.
“Manly dads who patiently sit on the floor and have a tea party with their toddler daughters.”
Thoughfulness.
“I fell asleep on the sofa after a really hard day, but I was sort of dozing, not fully asleep. My 16 year old son came into the room, saw me sleeping, and started tiptoeing around, shut the blinds, turned the lights off and covered me in a blanket because he was going to use the backyard gym which required a window to be open for an extension lead and he didn’t want me to get cold. It was just so thoughtful and did surprise me a bit because he normally has tunnel vision.”
Moving on after a disagreement.
“It’s a ‘relaxed and roll with it’ approach which is something I always appreciate. Prioritizes focus on the things that are important, you talk about it if you need to, and you let things be when they’re done. Most of my friends that are girls do more processing to try got a mutual understanding which is fine too. Both are valid approaches imo.”
Helping to neutralize creeps.
“My husband switching seats on an airline with a teenage girl being harassed by an old creep. He’s very large, bearded, and wears metal t-shirts. He plopped down next to creeper and said, ‘You said you were buying drinks?'”
Being a good example.
“Growing up poor, having a father who dedicated his time for me and my brothers meant the world. Has given me emotional tools I observe lacking in many of my friends. So I sometimes take that role with them, having the hard talks and explaining in depth the nuances of life.”
Offering their vehicle.
“Using pickup trucks to help others out.
“Need help moving? In the Ditch? Stuck in the snow? Gimme 5 mins to throw some pants on and I’m there.”
Being a good leader.
“I had a boss that was a real muscle head, but every time someone was having a bad/rough time he’d suggest we take a long lunch and go with him to the gym. He did this with multiple co-workers, taught a lot of us how to properly squat and deadlift. This was like 7 years ago, and I still squat and deadlift regularly, where as before I would simply just use the treadmill and maybe the circuit room at the gym.”
Teaching others about outdoors skills.
“He was a leader in my Boy Scout pack as a kid, dude is an all out mountain man type physically but doesn’t have a harsh bone in his body and was a mentor and father figure for me and tons of other boys.”
Not poisoning the well.
“A father teaching his sons to love and respect their mother even though they’re in the middle of a nasty divorce.”
Confidence in friendship.
“In high school one time, a guy gave his guy best friend a birthday gift, and guy 2 loved it so much he gave guy 1 the biggest hug in the middle of class. I think everyone’s hearts melted. All guys should be that confident / allowed to be that confident.”
Offering to spot at the gym.
“I remember when I was a little younger, like 19 or so, I had just started going to the gym frequently and was trying to start deadlifts. I obviously had no idea what I was doing and felt mad self conscious, but some random huge dude came up to me, gave me help with my form and technique, and then just wandered off.”
We want to hear from YOU so we can serve you better. Complete this quick survey and you will be entered to win a grand prize of $2,000, or a chance to win one of 10 Diply prize-packs!
