To say that being a parent is overwhelming would be an understatement. In today’s world, parents have so much on their plates, especially moms who also want to be part of the work force. So it’s not hard to imagine that some parents might resent their kids at times.
Redditors shared detailed reasons as to why they might not like their kids. You really can’t help but feel bad for them.
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1. Some people don’t want to face the challenges of being a parent.
“I just had a daughter a month ago. She was unplanned, and I told my wife (then girlfriend) that I did not want kids, but she did. She swore up and down she couldn’t have kids, but lo and behold here we are.”
“The pregnancy was awful, and now we have what simply must be the single most colicky and fussy baby alive…”
“…and she fights her sleep like a [expletive]. not to mention the postpartum depression that my wife is feeling .”
“I didn’t want to marry this girl, but basically felt I had to to support her (I’m military), and I didn’t want a kid.”
“I love my daughter more than anything, but the resentment and frustration I feel towards the situation makes me miserable.
Basically, I love my daughter entirely, but she makes my life a living hell. Hope I’m not an awful person for feeling this way.”
2. Sometimes, it’s just a matter of remembering that kids are people, too.
“I am 42 and have 3 kids, 21, 17 and 5. I love them more than anything and would die to save them if I had to. But they are people with their own personalities and there are days when I really don’t like them. The two older girls’ teenage years were filled with these days.”
“What most new parents don’t understand is that kids are not a blank slate that you get to draw on.”
“Each child has their own personality and while you can guide and shape their views and attitudes, you just can’t change who they are. That can lead to times when you don’t like them. Don’t feel bad or guilty about it, it’s natural but nobody talks about it.”
3. For some, they’d go back in time and not get pregnant if they could.
“I never wanted kids (I’m female). My method of birth control (IUD) failed. Although my husband and I do all the normal parental stuff and now have a seemingly normal 3-year-old, if I had a time machine or stumbled upon a lamp with a genie in it, I would take a redo.”
“I used to work in an office with mostly women (just out of college) and I asked a few women with children if they could go back and change it if they would.”
“I assumed they would say no, but they always said, ‘I love my kids, but I probably would not have had them.’
“Take it for what it’s worth.”
4. When it comes to adoption, you need to know if it’s really right for you.
“My wife and I adopted three girls. It changed our lives, negatively. As much as I hate to admit it, I love my biological kids and would do anything for them; I hate doing things for my adopted kids. I’m a s****y father.”
5. I don’t really blame anyone for not liking their screaming baby from time to time.
“My boy is nearly 5-weeks-old. Sometimes I hate his guts and want to toss him outside so I can get to bed at a decent hour and not be woken up through out the night… I love my boy, I would never harm him or allow harm to come to him. But I hate babies and can’t wait for him to grow up and be more enjoyable…”
6. I also don’t blame people for disliking their older kids from time to time.
“I think most people love their kids with all of their heart all of the time. But I also don’t think you have to like them all the time. Sometimes my son annoys the [expletive] out of me. I’ll never stop loving him.”
7. Some parents simply aren’t equipped for raising kids with behavioral problems.
“My kid has several issues my wife and I are trying to solve. He beats up on us, tries to hurt himself, screams and yells whenever he doesn’t get his way. Rages to the points where he’s unable to control himself. I can go on and on, but you probably get the gist.”
“Having kids has turned into a very stressful and exhausting life.”
“Since my kid is only four, I’m very scared for the future. But with everything we’re dealing with, I love him more than anything else in the world and could never live without him.”
It must be tough, but it’s good that they aren’t giving up on their son.
8. It’s worth remembering that, when you have a kid, their needs come first.
Even if that means you miss out on things you might want to do.
“A friend of mine started telling me about how she wished that she had never had her daughter and that the whole situation was preventing her from moving across the country where she wants to be.”
9. Being a parent means being there, for better or for worse.
“I went through a time when I absolutely could not stand to be around my son while we were going through some tough father/son times.”
“Every time I saw him I wanted to scream at him.”
“So all I could do was walk away. Hands down the toughest time parenting. Ironically I suppose is that of my three kids, he has always been my favorite and I am happy to say, still is. Oddly when he was born I couldn’t bond with him for the first 6 months at least. He was just a screaming crap factory to me. But when I did finally bond… holy smokes.”
10. It must be tough, raising troublemakers.
“My kids are hell. I know it’s my fault – I was the same at that age. They’re impatient, ill-tempered, and violent. Nothing like seeing a 1-year-old and a 3-year-old covered in bite-marks. People always say ‘it’s normal…’ but folks who’ve actually managed my kids admit: they’re… challenging.”
“I often joke that my son is running an impressive campaign for me to end the ban on corporal punishment.”
“I love them. I love them more after spending 8 hours away from them, though.”
(Jokes aside, I hope OP never actually ended the ban on corporal punishment.)
11. This parent actually raises a good point.
“Parent of two, here. Pretty much all children are born being loud, annoying, messy, difficult, obnoxious, obstinate, infuriating, violent, selfish and with a complete lack of empathy. It’s a parent’s job to correct these behaviors before the child reaches adulthood. You hate the behavior, not the child. Saying you hate a child because of their behavior is like saying you hate a room because it’s messy.”
12. Kids might need routine, but some adults do better without it.
“I have two kids, ages 2 and 4. I love them completely. What I don’t love is the monotonous routine involved with caring for them.”
I think that’s a pretty fair point.
13. Sometimes, the best thing you can do is know when to quit.
“I never wanted children. I saw no appeal, no urge to have them, no tugging on the ovaries when around babies. I never believed I was cut out to be a mother in any sense of the word, and experience proved it.”
“I dated my husband to be, who was adamant he wanted no children either…”
“…we married, and all was well until out of the blue a few years later he decided the most important thing to him on the planet was for me to bear his children.”
“He wore me down, and at the time I didn’t have the fortitude to say or do anything to push my point, and he made promises to cover all my fears.”
“He said he’d be happy to do most of the rearing and he wouldn’t allow me to fall into being the sole child-raising parent. He reassured me his parents would take some of the load. I thought it was all part of how love should be and with his persuading, my parents telling me I’d change my mind like everyone does, his parents being over the moon about his decision to try for kids, I went along with it.”
“At the age of 27 I had a fine, healthy baby boy.”
“And within months it was clear my ex’s promises were all about him and I’d made a dreadful mistake and I was raising a child I felt no bond with virtually alone. The experience changed us both and after just over a year later he left me because I changed. I probably don’t have to tell any parent here about that, at least physically.”
“Mentally though, it was a killer.”
“The bond never happened, and I just ended up a mother to a someone . I can’t even say ‘this is my son’ because I don’t feel that. There was caring for a dependent human being who deserves a safe life and protection and security, and until he was four I raised him alone.”
“I can’t describe the hell of raising someone you can’t work up a bond with, even a good person.”
“It’s like having the best flatmate I had while at uni, but also being responsible for every part of their being from food, medical, emotional, educational… I know no matter how I put it, to people who have children and who’ve connected with them there’s no comparison, but that’s you and this is me.”
“I don’t hate the kid. He deserves far more than I am capable of giving, and I am so [expletive] thankful my ex’s grandparents stepped in.”
“They were collecting him for a weekend and I made an offhand comment about keeping him (worn down by two days looking after vomiting child) and his grandfather took me aside and asked in all seriousness if I was coping.”
“I let it all out and he… was understanding enough to see I was serious, I was trying the best I could, I was failing, and it was damaging his grandson.”
“By the time he was five they took him in permanently.”
“So they’re raising him and I think it’s better for all of us. I ache because I don’t love him, and never have – but he’s still a small, vulnerable, developing human who deserves real parents with real love.”
“He seems to have bonded well with his grandparents, though I know kids can be remarkably resilient and reserved when the biggest things bother him.”
“I don’t know if it’s my bias from being free of the situation but I hope loving (relatively young, they’re 51) grandparents are better than a constantly angry and increasingly resentful mother.”
It seems like that was the best decision for everyone.
