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Newlywed’s Heartbreak: Wife Can’t Have Sex, Dreams of Family Shattered

by Diply Social Team
1 year ago
in Family
Reading Time: 14 mins read
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Imagine being in a loving relationship for 8 years, only to find out after marriage that your partner can’t have PIV sex. This is the story of a 29-year-old man who’s been with his wife since university. They made their long-distance relationship work, but throughout their time together, PIV sex was always off the table until marriage. Now, after tying the knot, he discovers the truth about his wife’s condition and feels cheated and sad. To make matters worse, she engages in self-harm during arguments. He’s now questioning if he’s the a**hole for wanting a divorce after only two months of marriage. Let’s dive into their story and see what unfolds…

A Love Story Begins

Image credit: Lotikast | Lotikast
Lotikast | Lotikast

The Mysterious PIV Denial

Image credit: Lotikast | Lotikast
Lotikast | Lotikast

The Big Reveal

Image credit: Lotikast | Lotikast
Lotikast | Lotikast

A Lack of Knowledge

Image credit: Lotikast | Lotikast
Lotikast | Lotikast

The Tampon Incident

Image credit: Lotikast | Lotikast
Lotikast | Lotikast

Feeling Cheated and Sad

Image credit: Lotikast | Lotikast
Lotikast | Lotikast

The Divorce Dilemma

Image credit: Lotikast | Lotikast
Lotikast | Lotikast

Some Important Facts

Image credit: Lotikast | Lotikast
Lotikast | Lotikast

Conservative Upbringing

Image credit: Lotikast | Lotikast
Lotikast | Lotikast

Willing to Seek Help

Image credit: Lotikast | Lotikast
Lotikast | Lotikast

Marriage, Secrets, and Heartbreak

Our protagonist has been in love with his wife for a decade, but now he’s facing a heartbreaking dilemma. After finally getting married, he discovers that his wife can’t have PIV sex due to a condition called Vaginismus. This comes as a shock since she never mentioned it before, and he always dreamed of having kids. On top of that, she engages in self-harm during arguments, making the situation even more complicated. Despite being raised in a conservative household in India and lacking proper sex education, his wife is willing to seek therapy. But is it enough to save their marriage? Let’s see what the internet thinks of this emotional rollercoaster…

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User questions why wife can’t have PIV sex, suggests seeing OBGYN. NTA

Image credit: Schafer_Isaac | Schafer_Isaac
Schafer_Isaac | Schafer_Isaac

Lack of communication leads to marital crisis

Image credit: Potential-Moose-6764 | Potential-Moose-6764
Potential-Moose-6764 | Potential-Moose-6764

Educational YouTube videos could save their sex life

Image credit: Flaky-Wedding2455 | Flaky-Wedding2455
Flaky-Wedding2455 | Flaky-Wedding2455

Suggests therapy and obgyn checkup for wife, offers support and advice.

Image credit: Poopydoopy600 | Poopydoopy600
Poopydoopy600 | Poopydoopy600

User suggests seeking medical advice for wife’s sexual issue.

Image credit: DistinctAirline5654 | DistinctAirline5654
DistinctAirline5654 | DistinctAirline5654

Harsh comment advises seeking medical help, no replies.

Image credit: akwred | akwred
akwred | akwred

Selfish advice: prioritize dreams over wife’s medical issue

Image credit: Busy_Helicopter_5567 | Busy_Helicopter_5567
Busy_Helicopter_5567 | Busy_Helicopter_5567

Suggests therapy for wife’s condition, advises sticking by her. NTA.

Image credit: Particular_Boss_3018 | Particular_Boss_3018
Particular_Boss_3018 | Particular_Boss_3018

Suggests sex therapy for possible vaginismus, advises divorce if necessary.

Image credit: Far_Chart9118 | Far_Chart9118
Far_Chart9118 | Far_Chart9118

Serious concerns raised about wife’s self-harming behavior. NTA.

Image credit: DeliciousMud7291 | DeliciousMud7291
DeliciousMud7291 | DeliciousMud7291

Confused commenter asks for clarification on wife’s condition

Image credit: Keljon142 | Keljon142
Keljon142 | Keljon142

Concerned commenter suggests possible cause and urges prompt medical attention.

Image credit: Vast_Section_5525 | Vast_Section_5525
Vast_Section_5525 | Vast_Section_5525

Legal implications of unconsummated marriage

Image credit: Exact_Limit_9999 | Exact_Limit_9999
Exact_Limit_9999 | Exact_Limit_9999

Advice on wife’s sexual health and self-harm, seek therapy

Image credit: Concerned-Fern | Concerned-Fern
Concerned-Fern | Concerned-Fern

Legal ramifications of lying about procreation in marriage.

Image credit: Bibliophile_w_coffee | Bibliophile_w_coffee
Bibliophile_w_coffee | Bibliophile_w_coffee

Huge change in married life, divorce is reasonable. #NTA

Image credit: Reddoraptor | Reddoraptor
Reddoraptor | Reddoraptor

User accuses wife of false pretenses for being physically unable.

Image credit: EntrepreneurAmazing3 | EntrepreneurAmazing3
EntrepreneurAmazing3 | EntrepreneurAmazing3

Divorce her, but prioritize her safety if she threatens self-harm

Image credit: MaxV331 | MaxV331
MaxV331 | MaxV331

Suggests seeing female OBGYN for possible FGM complications. Supportive.

Image credit: megans48 | megans48
megans48 | megans48

Possible trust issues in newlywed’s sex life

Image credit: Necessary-Shock9201 | Necessary-Shock9201
Necessary-Shock9201 | Necessary-Shock9201

Red flags: self-harm, lack of anatomy knowledge & no kids.

Image credit: beardsauce | beardsauce
beardsauce | beardsauce

Vaginismus is highly treatable with pelvic floor physical therapy ‍⚕️ and talk therapy ‍ . Stick with her if she’s willing to do the work.

Image credit: DiligentPenguin16 | DiligentPenguin16
DiligentPenguin16 | DiligentPenguin16

Addressing wife’s trauma before divorce is the right move

Image credit: lqrx | lqrx
lqrx | lqrx

Doubting a woman’s medical issue? YTA (you’re the a**hole)

Image credit: econroy | econroy
econroy | econroy

Overcoming vaginismus: A story of hope and perseverance ❤️

Image credit: GigsworthCB | GigsworthCB
GigsworthCB | GigsworthCB

Questioning the root of the problem with helpful suggestions

Image credit: BigBlueHood | BigBlueHood
BigBlueHood | BigBlueHood

Growing up with no sex education: the effects and solutions

Image credit: Showmeyourmutts | Showmeyourmutts
Showmeyourmutts | Showmeyourmutts

NTA, but Divorce is the only answer

Image credit: DMG-1969 | DMG-1969
DMG-1969 | DMG-1969

Encouraging advice to seek therapy and medical help for wife’s trauma.

Image credit: OurLadyOfCygnets | OurLadyOfCygnets
OurLadyOfCygnets | OurLadyOfCygnets

27F shares advice on overcoming sexual difficulties in a marriage ❤

Image credit: ComplaintRepulsive52 | ComplaintRepulsive52
ComplaintRepulsive52 | ComplaintRepulsive52

Don’t abandon your wife, help her overcome her anti-sex upbringing

Image credit: amaliasdaises | amaliasdaises
amaliasdaises | amaliasdaises

Reddit user criticized for not communicating directly with spouse

Image credit: CerealRedditonian | CerealRedditonian
CerealRedditonian | CerealRedditonian

Suggest seeing gynecologist and therapist to solve sexual problem

Image credit: interstellararabella | interstellararabella
interstellararabella | interstellararabella

Self-harm is a disorder; never a conscious manipulation tactic

Image credit: ShyTownHigh | ShyTownHigh
ShyTownHigh | ShyTownHigh

Red flag! Lying by omission and emotional manipulation. Leave ASAP

Image credit: castrodelavaga79 | castrodelavaga79
castrodelavaga79 | castrodelavaga79

Red flags in a two-month marriage. NTA for being concerned

Image credit: Necessary_Mood134 | Necessary_Mood134
Necessary_Mood134 | Necessary_Mood134

Supporting a partner through sexual trauma requires patience and therapy.

Image credit: ProseccoIsLife | ProseccoIsLife
ProseccoIsLife | ProseccoIsLife

User questions OP’s care for wife’s sexual health.

Image credit: Kasey1997 | Kasey1997
Kasey1997 | Kasey1997

Hopeful message: commenter shares personal experience with vaginismus and success

Image credit: Didistutter29 | Didistutter29
Didistutter29 | Didistutter29

Possible solutions for sexual and family planning issues discussed.

Image credit: Thunderplant | Thunderplant
Thunderplant | Thunderplant

Don’t give up hope, keep trying and be kind

Image credit: UsefulDirection5500 | UsefulDirection5500
UsefulDirection5500 | UsefulDirection5500

Educate yourself and be patient with your wife ‍ , seek therapy together ❤️

Image credit: Enzylika_Zinoviv83 | Enzylika_Zinoviv83
Enzylika_Zinoviv83 | Enzylika_Zinoviv83

Red flag: wife needs therapy for self-harming and sex issues

Image credit: hpxb | hpxb
hpxb | hpxb

Encouraging advice to address sexual issues in marriage ‍❤️ ‍

Image credit: danceyrselftonowhere | danceyrselftonowhere
danceyrselftonowhere | danceyrselftonowhere

Engaging in dialogue could save your marriage ❤️

Image credit: Stillpoetic45 | Stillpoetic45
Stillpoetic45 | Stillpoetic45

Lying for a decade? Annulment might be the best option. ‍♂️

Image credit: BigNathaniel69 | BigNathaniel69
BigNathaniel69 | BigNathaniel69

Suggests alternative approach for husband to pleasure wife

Image credit: Burnbabt | Burnbabt
Burnbabt | Burnbabt

Couple struggles with wife’s vaginismus, need education and counseling.

Image credit: Frankifile | Frankifile
Frankifile | Frankifile

Get medical help before giving up on sexual intimacy

Image credit: sigristl | sigristl
sigristl | sigristl

Overcoming painful sex: Communication and trust are key

Image credit: Willing_Garage6929 | Willing_Garage6929
Willing_Garage6929 | Willing_Garage6929

Encouraging comment to seek medical advice for wife’s condition ✊

Image credit: BadLuckBirb | BadLuckBirb
BadLuckBirb | BadLuckBirb

A commenter expresses shock at couple’s lack of communication

Image credit: gahidus | gahidus
gahidus | gahidus

Advice on vaginismus treatment and patience for newlyweds

Image credit: CommunicationFast669 | CommunicationFast669
CommunicationFast669 | CommunicationFast669

Man seeks advice on wife’s sexual dysfunction and self-harm tendencies. Commenter suggests sex ed, therapy, and medical help. Urges against having kids with her.

Image credit: RobertTheWorldMaker | RobertTheWorldMaker
RobertTheWorldMaker | RobertTheWorldMaker

Mother’s actions caused wife’s condition, NTA for having needs.

Image credit: walker5953 | walker5953
walker5953 | walker5953

Skeptical commenter suggests seeking professional help for wife’s condition.

Image credit: ThePastaConnoisseur | ThePastaConnoisseur
ThePastaConnoisseur | ThePastaConnoisseur

Don’t give up on her yet. There are treatments for vaginismus.

Image credit: Accomplished_Drag946 | Accomplished_Drag946
Accomplished_Drag946 | Accomplished_Drag946

Love and intimacy beyond sex in a marriage

Image credit: hybriddragonfly | hybriddragonfly
hybriddragonfly | hybriddragonfly

Couple advised to seek medical and emotional help for intimacy issues ‍

Image credit: iggy182 | iggy182
iggy182 | iggy182

Encourage her to see a gynecologist and support her through it!

Image credit: Lanky-Writing1037 | Lanky-Writing1037
Lanky-Writing1037 | Lanky-Writing1037

Expert suggests pelvic floor therapy for wife’s sexual dysfunction ‍

Image credit: lunas4477 | lunas4477
lunas4477 | lunas4477

Helpful advice for wife’s medical issues from compassionate commenter.

Image credit: rotund-rift-killjoy | rotund-rift-killjoy
rotund-rift-killjoy | rotund-rift-killjoy

Prioritize proper exam & therapy before deciding divorce. ‍ ‍

Image credit: Valpo1996 | Valpo1996
Valpo1996 | Valpo1996

How can he deal with the heartbreak of shattered dreams?

Image credit: ConfectionKindly1111 | ConfectionKindly1111
ConfectionKindly1111 | ConfectionKindly1111

Cultural and religious barriers prevent women from having sex

Image credit: xicrymyselftosleepx | xicrymyselftosleepx
xicrymyselftosleepx | xicrymyselftosleepx

Discussion on potential causes and solutions for sexual dysfunction.

Image credit: Teneluxio | Teneluxio
Teneluxio | Teneluxio

User advises couple to seek therapy and treatment for wife’s condition.

Image credit: Apart_Insect_8859 | Apart_Insect_8859
Apart_Insect_8859 | Apart_Insect_8859

Misconceptions about vaginismus. Medical help is available ‍⚕️

Image credit: Cloudinthesilver | Cloudinthesilver
Cloudinthesilver | Cloudinthesilver

Misconceptions about sex education and trauma are addressed compassionately.

Image credit: Ancient-Actuator7443 | Ancient-Actuator7443
Ancient-Actuator7443 | Ancient-Actuator7443

Addressing possible causes of wife’s condition, advice for help-seeking.

Image credit: CambodianGold | CambodianGold
CambodianGold | CambodianGold

Medical conditions may be affecting her. Seek medical advice.

Image credit: d36williams | d36williams
d36williams | d36williams

User suggests wife has mental health issues, recommends therapy and OBGYN.

Image credit: Truetexan624 | Truetexan624
Truetexan624 | Truetexan624

Red flag: self-harm during arguments and lying about sex life.

Image credit: jftgdykjfthj | jftgdykjfthj
jftgdykjfthj | jftgdykjfthj

NTA, but therapy and medical help might save your marriage

Image credit: gold3nhour | gold3nhour
gold3nhour | gold3nhour

Annulment possible due to inability to have children. NTA.

Image credit: Euowol | Euowol
Euowol | Euowol

Tough love advice for a heartbroken newlywed

Image credit: MangoMuch807 | MangoMuch807
MangoMuch807 | MangoMuch807

Ending the relationship was relieving. NTA

Image credit: NB0073 | NB0073
NB0073 | NB0073

Being childless is a legitimate dealbreaker. Get her checked first.

Image credit: Plastic_Employer1882 | Plastic_Employer1882
Plastic_Employer1882 | Plastic_Employer1882
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