“The people are real. The tweets are real. The rulings are final. This is Judge Chrissy Teigen.”
You know what? That kind of has a ring to it.
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Chrissy Teigen is set to star in Chrissy’s Court , which I’m already ready to be addicted to. Here’s what’s up with your next obsession.
When you think of courtroom dramas, Judge Judy immediately pops into your head, right?
Well, either Judy, or Judge Joe Brown.
But what if we told you that there’s a new sheriff judge in town?
It’s no secret that Chrissy is known as the official Mayor of Twitter.
Her quick wit and endless supply of roasts are the perfect reasons to put her in front of people who need, well, judging.
And so it’s no wonder that she was chosen for “Chrissy’s Court”.
According to The Hollywood Reporter , Chrissy’s Court will “air” on Quibi.
Seriously, this job was made for her.
No one is safe from Chrissy. Not even children’s TV.
Sidebar, kinda offended on behalf of raccoons. Those garbage babies don’t deserve this kind of slander.
Thank god they have representation from Marvel’s Rocket Raccoon.
Like, even the way she announced the show was perfect.
This is the Twitter account of someone who needs to be paid to tell people to be nice to each other.
Or to wise up and stop acting like fools. Either one.
Chrissy will quite literally be a judge.
Much like Judge Judy , Chrissy’s Court will have Chrissy preside over small claims court cases. (Yeah, that’s basically all Judge Judy does.)
Both parties involved in the cases will agree to stand by whatever decision she makes.
Her mom will also be there.
Chrissy’s legendary mom, Vilailuck Teigen, will also be on the show — as Chrissy’s bailiff.
You may remember Vilailuck from such iconic moments as the “Chrissy needs ripe bananas for banana bread, so she sends her mom out to get them from random Twitter followers in exchange for John’s underwear” incident.
The bailiff job will be VERY serious.
I am praying on hands and knees that she will be in an exact replica of the uniform that Bird, from Judge Judy , wears.
PS I love you Bird, keep doin’ your thing.
Teigen had this to say:
“When Cellino & Barnes broke up, I was devastated. I knew I had to take matters into my own hands. Here’s one jury duty you won’t want to miss.” She told The Hollywood Reporter .
I can’t believe Chrissy Teigen was the one to tell me that Cellino & Barnes broke up. I need a moment.
Twitter has already provided their first case.
Translation, for those who don’t feel like taking on the incomprehensible language that is Twitter humor:
“hello yes I would like to take my neighbor Dennis and his iguana to your courthouse on account of he keeps eating my stuff and smoking the grass in the yard and his garage and also he has not given me back the power tools he borrowed. also i want someone to clip the iguana’s wings.”
And a second!
Does anyone else actually want to hear this story?
If the whole show is Chrissy vs internet scammers who get taken to court, I will not complain. It’s about time someone did something about them, and Chrissy is the perfect person to do it.
Also, there’s some rules
A list of things you can sue people for in Chrissy’s Court :
See, this is just more proof that Chrissy should preside over internet claims.
No, but seriously.
The actual first episode of the show is expected to air sometime in 2020.
That’s when Quibi will officially launch, bringing Chrissy’s show to our screens, alongside other artists like Lena Waith, JLo, and Guillermo del Toro.
Speaking of replies…
This was a pretty common reply to Chrissy’s tweet. It’s totally fair, since I too had not heard of Quibi until learning about Chrissy’s show.
Quibi is basically just another entertainment streaming platform, like Netflix. That’s it!
Quibi is backed by some big names.
Jeffrey Katzenberg and Meg Whitman are the main names attached to the platform.
Katzenberg is a major Hollywood producer and executive who has worked for companies like Disney and Dreamworks.
Whitman is a businesswoman and political activist.
So, their new streaming platform is going to have major power behind it.
All hail Judge Teigen!
May she reign fair, may she reign mightily, and may she wear some amazing things under her judge’s robes.
And if a dispute has to be resolved with a lip sync battle, I wouldn’t be opposed to that.
