When getting pregnant and starting a family, one conversation that many couples have is what name they wish to give their child.
Names are something that makes a child discover who they are and also can shape their identities. It’s not something that one partner chooses—it’s something that couples choose together . As the child is their child, it should be a compromise and agreement.
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One Reddit user recently opened up to the community about her baby name dilemma.
The Reddit user said that her daughter’s due date is quickly approaching and she and her husband had decided on naming their daughter “Anna.” The name Anna didn’t come from anywhere , it had a lot of meaning to the Reddit user and it was actually her grandmother’s name.
The Reddit user and her grandmother were extremely close.
“I spent most of my childhood and teen years with my grandparents. I was extremely close with my grandmother and was devastated when she passed away in 2016 from lung cancer. We live close to my grandfather and visit him on a daily basis,” she said.
Then, the couple went to have dinner at her MIL’s house.
One night, while the Reddit user and her husband were eating at his mother’s house, she brought up the baby’s name. The Reddit user started off by saying she and her MIL are cordial, but not very close. She also feels like her MIL resents her because her husband is an only child and since she has been in his life, he is not as close with his mother.
At the “small dinner party,” her MIL had some surprising news.
“MIL invited us over for a small dinner party and I thought it was going to be a pleasant evening. When we sat down for dinner, my MIL turns to me and says Husband and I spoke this past week and he told me that you were going to be changing her name to be after me,” the Reddit user shared.
Clearly, she was surprised.
The Reddit user said she could “feel her anxiety rising” in that moment. She asked her husband if they were still keeping their original baby name choice, and her husband did not respond. She was so hurt and upset, they ended up leaving.
In the car, her husband apologized, but he didn’t seem to take back what his mother said.
The Reddit user said she was “hurt” and was shocked her husband would go behind her back and discuss this with his mother. Then, his mother sent her numerous text messages shaming her behavior at dinner and hoping the Reddit user “changes her mind” and names the baby after her.
She asked the Reddit community if she was “wrong” for being so upset.
Many people online said her husband sounds like he’s “whipped” in a relationship with his own mother.
“Sounds like MIL “decided” and husband kept his mouth shut because he’s a weakling trapped between two strong-willed women and he doesn’t want to have to choose a side. He obviously didn’t expect his mom to force the issue by bringing it up at dinner,” said angelcat00 .
Others said she has to put her foot down before it is too late.
“It is completely unacceptable for your husband and a third party to “decide” anything about your child without consulting you.
If you let this slide, in any way , I bet your MIL will think she can run your life and decide how your child is raised, too.
Put your foot down, as hard as you can. Quit reading this and do it now,” said DemmyDemon .
And, dozens said this is a big red flag.
HikeEatLift shared that this situation proves her husband chooses his mother over his own wife, and that is a big red flag. For something, especially their child, her husband should be on his wife’s side. Him not saying anything to his mother proves he’s not going to stand up for his wife.
Some suggested that they need “couples counseling.”
YoYoMoMa said that it sounds like her MIL is very overbearing and that her husband has been raised this way throughout his entire life, so he may not see a problem with it. The Reddit user suggested that the couple goes to counseling to talk about it, as it’s now becoming a big issue in their marriage.
Others, however, said there is still time to fix this.
“The baby hasn’t arrived, and the name isn’t on the birth certificate, therefore OP and husband can sit down and discuss things. Just because MIL says whatever doesn’t mean that’s the way it has to be,” said another Reddit user.
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