Although we understand that miscarriages are devastating, one aspect of the experience that often gets overlooked is how isolating it can feel to live in the aftermath of this traumatic event.
For decades, this had a lot to do with the fact that people were expected not to talk about them after they had them. But while some high profile awareness efforts have made them less of an unnecessarily taboo subject, that loneliness still remains.
It can be surprising to see how much people vary in how they react to news of a miscarriage, but those who do want to be supportive are often at a loss when it comes to what they can do for a loved one coping with the experience.
And while it may not seem like much on the surface, that’s why one woman’s simple photo of a pack of toilet paper and a box of Cheez-Its on her porch is making such a difference among parenting circles.
When Ashlee Gadd of Sacramento, California had a miscarriage, she said that such a possibility “was not even on my radar.”
As she told Good Morning America, she wasn’t able to process the doctor’s grim news until she asked Gadd if she could hug her, at which point she started sobbing in the doctor’s arms.
But while that initial shock was overwhelming for Gadd, she said her struggles became all the more difficult in the week that followed.
Not only would she have to undergo a medical procedure to remove her uterine lining, but she had to weather a disorienting period of time in which her body still acted as though she was pregnant.
But it was during this period of nausea and grieving that her friend Anna sent her a text that helped in a way she never would have expected.
Because while people always mean well when they ask what they can do to help, it’s not always such an easy question to answer.
But as Gadd shared in an Instagram post , Anna made it significantly easier by giving her friend some options.
She could either take Gadd’s kids to dinner, put in a food order just for Gadd, bring her something from her trip to Target and leave it by the door, or Gadd could decline any of these choices if she found none of them helpful.
As Gadd said, “It was such a relief to not have to put any thought into how she could help me.”
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And since Gadd needed toilet paper and was hardly looking forward to shopping for it herself, she happily took Anna up on her offer and asked for some.
She also also asked for a box of Cheez-Its since that was mostly what she had been eating since she received the news.
For Gadd and the 17,000 others who her post clearly resonated with, Anna’s idea served as a game-changing way to support someone going through a miscarriage that also makes it easier for them to accept help.
In her words, “I think women have a hard time with it, but when we actually accept the help, not only are we helping ourselves, but we’re also allowing a friend to grow close to us through that accepted offer.”
h/t: Good Morning America
