When women are breastfeeding, many times they need to feed when they’re out and about — even when other people are present. While it may be inconvenient for others, breastfeeding is a natural way for their children to get the necessary nutrients needed.
Some moms breastfeed their kids for an extended period of time.
While some moms stop when kids start on solid foods, other moms continue to breastfeed well into their child’s toddler years. It’s at the discretion of the mother entirely.
Recently, one Reddit user wrote into the website asking if it’s wrong to tell her sister it’s time to transition her kids.
The Reddit user wrote into the popular thread “Am I The Asshole?” thread about her sister, who still breastfeeds and co-sleeps with her two and six-year-old children.
She said that her sister tends to feed both kids in front of the family.
“It makes family get-togethers difficult. There’s nothing quite like seeing a two-year-old breastfeed. Because they’re older, she’s been asked to feed them away from family which she gets pissed about, and I just think they’re both grossly attached to her,” she wrote.
The OP did point out that her sister’s oldest child is autistic.
“Her oldest is autistic and so he isn’t in school currently, (she wants him in a school that would be beneficial for him, which I completely understand) and he has quite severe meltdowns if he’s away from her for too long,” she added.
But, it seems both children are attached to their mother.
“He can do about six hours before he gets cranky, he gets his milk and occasionally he’s been able to push it to about nine hours, but she rarely leaves him for that long. The youngest is still attached to her hip. He won’t even sit with us for two minutes while she goes to the bathroom,” she said.
While the Reddit user admits that they are excellent kids and very well behaved, she thinks that her sister is still “babying them.”
“I don’t see why a six-year-old still needs to breastfeed. They still both use pacifiers and actual bottles, not sippy cups, and I think she should start transitioning them. Even though he is autistic the oldest doesn’t need to be [infantilized] to this extent.
While he can’t use cups he could use sippy cups, and he seriously doesn’t need a pacifier. If he doesn’t have it he generally isn’t bothered,” she said.
Apparently, the whole family agrees. But, no one has had the guts to say something to her face.
“We spent new years together (our parents, other two sisters and their kids) and her kid started breastfeeding during dinner. My mum told them to wait until after, she said no, and I said she needs to start letting them grow up.
Even if they need breast milk, theres no reason they cant both use a sippy cup. She left pretty soon after and hasn’t been talking with any of us. My sisters think I should’ve just left her alone, but I think someone seriously had to tell her,” she wrote.
She asked the Reddit community if she was wrong for telling her sister how they really feel.
Many said that the OP had her nephew’s best interest at heart and it was good that she was honest. And, many pointed out her sister also has the right to parent the way she sees fit.
“I think you had a right to say what you did. It seems you have legitimate concerns for your nephews in terms of unhealthy attachments (not the breastfeeding aspect). However, your sister also had a right to react the way she did. Ultimately, no matter what you and your family think, at the end of the day she’s their parent and what she says goes in terms of her children,” one person said.
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Others who have done attachment parenting said that they agree with it, but transitioning is important.
“I followed attachment parenting. I breastfed my daughter until her third birthday but no one would have known because my daughter ate solids from 6 months of age, drank from a regular cup or a straw, and always sat at the table during meal times…
When she was 2.5 I told her that 3-year-olds don’t breastfeed and they have to use only a cup when they want milk. She accepted it and honestly I struggled more with the transition than she did. It was no big deal to her,” one person said, adding that this situation sounded harmful to the six-year-old.
Where do you stand on this issue?