Mom Mourns the ‘Feminine Daughter’ She Never Had, But What About the Daughter She Does Have?

Imagine growing up knowing that you’re not the daughter your mother always wanted. That’s the reality for one woman, who’s been described as a ‘tomboy’ throughout her life. Her mother, who’s always wanted a feminine daughter, has had a tough time accepting her for who she is. Recently, the woman’s father suggested that she should let her mother ‘grieve the daughter she wanted.’ But is it fair for her to bear the burden of her mother’s unfulfilled dreams? Let’s dive into this heart-wrenching story.

The Tomboy Daughter ‍♀️

Mom’s Dream: Sewing, Dresses, and Dolls

Graduation Dress: A Mixed Memory

Feeling Uncomfortable

The ‘Perfect’ Cousin ‍ ‍ ‍

A Painful Comparison

Insecurities and Heartache

Opening Up to Dad ️

Let Her Grieve?

The ‘Lost’ Daughter

Taking a Break

Time to Talk? ⏰

The Struggle Continues

Clarification on Identity

A Daughter’s Struggle for Acceptance

Caught between her mother’s unfulfilled dreams and her own identity, this woman is left feeling heartbroken and lost. Her father suggests that she should let her mother ‘grieve the daughter she wanted,’ but is it fair to ask her to shoulder this burden? As the world weighs in on this emotional dilemma, one thing is clear: family dynamics can be complicated, and acceptance isn’t always easy to come by. Let’s see how the internet responds to this heart-wrenching situation…

NTA. Take time to grieve the parents you deserved

NTA. Daughter rightfully grieves for loving, accepting mother she deserves.

NTA comment empathizes with mom’s feelings, but OP’s feelings outweigh hers.

Mother’s disappointment should not justify toxic behavior towards daughter. NTA

Commenter jokes about being a pirate, others defend Romanian heritage

Fighting back against misogyny with sass and solidarity

Don’t try to mold your child into something they’re not

Daughter confronts mom’s unrealistic expectations, NTA

Don’t blame the child for not meeting your expectations

Navigating a difficult mother-daughter relationship with love and acceptance

Commenter asks about the rainbow flag, OP identifies as gay ️‍

Don’t let anyone dim your light, NTA

Commenter’s recent coming out and parent’s reaction explained.

Embrace your child for who they are, not who you want

Celebrating oneself is more important than adhering to parental expectations.

Don’t let your parents shape your personality and identity.

Cutting contact with mom in mid-twenties, NTA.

NTA comment suggests therapy for mourning mother.

Infertile commenter calls out mother for not appreciating her daughter

Don’t let your mother’s selfishness affect your happiness.

NTA shuts down mom’s nastiness towards her own daughter.

Heartfelt reply to NTA comment about real grief and support.

Parental acceptance is key. NTA for raising a tomboy.

Be yourself, not who others want you to be

Trans woman defends child’s right to be themselves.

Children are not dolls. Your mom’s only concern should be that you’re an honorable, independent, kind, responsible human being.

Acceptance is key. It’s unfair to mourn an idea.

Unapologetically embracing femininity? NTA! Mom needs to move on.

A fellow ‘less gay’ NTA who understands the struggle.

Supportive commenter shares similar experience with unsupportive parent.

Mother mourns non-existent daughter, but OP is NTA. ‍♀️

Don’t let anyone make you feel like you’re not enough

NTA for standing up to parents who view you as disappointment

Trans commenter calls out parents’ lack of acceptance.

Daughter defends herself against dad’s insensitive comment.

Supportive comment shows empathy and encourages stepping out of comfort zone.

Growing up independent and strong, not bending to others’ wills.

Mom’s gender expectations are unfair and emotionally manipulative. NTA.

Empathetic response to a daughter’s struggle for acceptance. NTA

Letting go of hypothetical future is hard, but don’t burden children.

Breaking gender stereotypes and bonding over shared interests.

Supportive comment urges OP to seek professional help.

Daughter mourns for loving parents who accept her for herself.

Validating feelings in a heartfelt NAH comment.

A thought-provoking comment on the complexity of coming out.

Commenter empathizes with OP’s disappointment in their mother’s behavior.

Validating the mother’s feelings while acknowledging the son’s perspective.

Validating empathy for a mother’s grief over unfulfilled expectations

Commenter empathizes with OP and calls out parents’ behavior

Parenting is about adjusting our vision to be realistic for kids ‍ . Your mom failed you.

Encouraging self-love and acceptance for a tomboy daughter.

Embrace who you are! Your mother should love you unreservedly

Suggests mentoring an At Risk girl or adopting a tiny doggie to help mother cope.

Daughter reminds mom that her love should be unconditional.

Validating the child’s feelings and experiences is crucial.