There are many times in a parent’s life when they rely on their families for help with their children. Sometimes, it’s for a brief time when they have other engagements like weddings or date night. Other times, people ask their parents to help them out when they have to go to work and run errands. Whatever the case may be, if our parents are still alive, we’re lucky to have them around to help.
When our parents help us out with our kids, sometimes they’re nice enough to take care of some household chores.
From bathing our kids and putting them to bed, to sometimes helping out with laundry and other items, our parents can do more than just help with our children.
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My own mom, for one, always helps organize the house when she babysits.
She just feels the need to reorganize the pantry or do the dishes when she’s around. I don’t ask, she just has this “motherly need” to help out in my house.
But, some moms almost “expect” their parents and in-laws to clean up their home while they are watching the kids.
At least, some parents do. One mom recently wrote into a parenting forum titling her post, “Is It Wrong That I Expect My Mother-in-Law to Clean While Babysitting for Free?”
The mom, of course, gave some context to her post.
“We don’t pay her to babysit because my hubby believes she’s making up for what she missed out on. She missed out on their births, birthdays, and holidays…” the mom explained, adding that her mother-in-law had addiction issues in the past.
She mentioned that her mother-in-law did miss some big events, but now that she lives close by, she sees the kids more.
“At one point, she did live down three houses from us but still didn’t make it to her granddaughter’s birth and rarely seen [sic] her as a baby,” she added to the post.
However, the mom said that when her mother-in-law comes over, she leaves the house such a mess.
“Now when we come home, I’m talking about bowls of cereal left on the table since the morning, crumbs all over the floor and all over the table, spilled milk everywhere, cups everywhere, trash thrown on the floor because she’s not telling the kids to throw it in the trash. Dishes in the sink are piled up, something sticky on our floor, and the kids’ toys are everywhere or crayons and markers everywhere,” she said.
The mom said that her kids are “old enough” to know to clean up after themselves, but her MIL clearly doesn’t implement rules.
“My kids are old enough to know how to pick up after themselves; they just have to be told. She just lets my kids do whatever, and I don’t want to come home after a 12-hour shift to deep clean my home. I talked to my hubby, and he just rolls his eyes,” she said.
Many parents weighed in on the discussion and had a lot to say about it.
“Wow. She may have made bad choices and missed out, but that doesn’t mean you get to decide that she should work for you for free. I don’t think there is much you can say to her. Address it with your children if they are old enough,” one person wrote.
Some people thought the mom’s expectations were reasonable, but her attitude was not.
“I think it’s fair that everyone cleans up after themselves and not leave trash all around the house. So I understand why you’d want to say something about it. However, the attitude around making her babysit for free because of what she’s missed out on is actually really mean. Seems that she is getting punished for having a serious problem. You’re kinda taking advantage of her guilt and that’s not healthy,” said another.
Many people were in agreement that this mom was being a little rude.
“Rude much? She takes time out her day to watch um [sic] and you can’t even pay her. I wouldn’t clean either. Why bother going the extra mile if they aren’t paid?” someone added.
Do you agree?
