Every parent knows the feeling of going out with your kids and having people compliment how adorable they are. From family to friends to complete strangers, it seems that people are keen on complimenting toddlers on their appearances.
For many parents, it’s a sweet compliment to hear how cute their kids are.
Many times, small compliments are innocent. Things like, “what beautiful eyes,” or, “she has your nose,” are simple compliments parents take lightly.
However, there are some occasions where compliments can be borderline inappropriate.
Sometimes, while trying to be kind and give our children compliments, people can accidentally sexualize them in ways that are semi-inappropriate.
You probably don’t realize how “creepy” some compliments can be.
Because we hear certain phrases and “compliments” so often, we don’t really think deeply about what the person is actually saying.
One concerned mom recently called out common phrases that over-sexualize toddlers on Reddit.
The mom titled the post “does it weird anyone else out when people say things like ‘she’s so pretty- shes going to be trouble when she’s older’ about your kids?”
Reddit user Raidden continued by saying that it bothered her when people began complimenting her 3-year-old in such a way.
She wrote : “I have a 3 year old and of course i think shes the cutest little kid in the world.
She described her daughter’s appearance, too.
“She has bright blue eyes long dark eyelashes blonde hair and chubby little cheeks.”
She went on to explain the difference between cute and creepy compliments.
“Most of the time people will just say ‘your daughter is adorable/ cute/ ect.,’ which we reply aww thanks and move on.”
And, that people make inappropriate remarks.
“But we also get a lot of people saying stuff like ‘ you better lock her up, the boys will be chasing after her’ ‘ shes going to be so much trouble when she’s a teenager.”
These compliments also come from strangers when parents are out trying to run errands.
“Like could you NOT talk about my 3 year old like that? I have no idea what to say to people like that because most of the time it’s in passing…”
But, they’re also in passing.
“…like while I’m trying to check out at the grocery store and in a rush so I don’t really feel like lecturing. out of habit I just do this awkward grimace and forced chuckle and try not to talk to them too much.”
Raidden then asked Reddit users if she’s wrong and being overly sensitive by being so offended by these kind of remarks.
If you think about it, the comments and phrasings do sexualize a young girl, saying that when she’s older she’s going to be so stunning and good looking, that the boys will fawn all over her. It’s creepy to think that way about a young child.
Overall, people online agreed that the remarks were creepy and wrong.
One user wrote: “I think it’s very weird. My daughter is 2.5 and biracial and the comments I get are terrible.”
She added…
“I also really hate when she’s just playing like opening her legs or dancing and family members are like “she’s starting early” I’m like wtf stop making things sexual about my child.”
Another said it’s pretty heteronormative to say these kind of things, too.
“I like to throw old people off when they say my son is going to be a hit with the ladies, “or the gentleman, you never know!”
And, it’s creepy.
“It’s super creepy to sexualize a 1 year old AND heteronormative…”
One mom said she gets it about her son, too.
“I get it more about my son, being a heart breaker or lady killer… he’s 3.5 years old.”
Another mom added her daughter gets it even at 7-years-old.
“Yes, I hear it all the time. My eldest is 7, and she’s tall with long blonde hair, naturally tan skin, and big light brown eyes. She’s an attractive child (like, holy cow how did we make that?)”
Even at 7, it’s still creepy.
“But it definitely weirds me out when people tell us to lock her up or get a gun. Yeah, no. She can take care of herself when she gets older, because I’m teaching my daughters to have self-worth outside of what boys see in her. But right now she’s seven. Shut up, you’re creepy.”
It’s a good lesson to all to be careful what we say about children.
Even if it’s meant innocently, things can be taken the wrong way and out of context. Besides, kids and people are more than just a pretty face!
