Let’s be real here for a second: insecurities in any relationship can really only lead to disaster.
Feeling like you’re not worthy of your partner for any reason, physical or personal, can definitely cause problems and put an unnecessary strain on the relationship. But feeling like your partner isn’t worthy of you ?
Well, now that’s just asking for a messy break up down the road.
One man has been grappling with such feelings for awhile now, and recently appealed to the jury on Reddit’s r/AmITheAsshole for a verdict on the situation.
As he explained online , he’s 5’9″ while his girlfriend — who he describes as being “extremely tall” — happens to stand at about 5’8″.
That one-inch difference has definitely made a comfy little home inside this man’s head, because his girlfriend’s height is something he is quite simply obsessed with. And that’s all because it makes him feel insecure.
It’s certainly nothing new, but height differences can be a “make or break” factor for some people when it comes to picking a beau.
In fact, if you’ve been on any dating app lately, you know most users will stick their height right there in their biography alongside their favorite hobbies and Marvel movies because they know prospective partners are likely to ask about it anyway.
Some people prefer their significant other to be taller or shorter than them, while others simply don’t care whatsoever.
The real trouble starts when someone who is really hung up about their partner’s height starts dating someone who doesn’t meet their “standard”, so to speak.
Whether because they decided to forfeit their preference in favor of that person, or because they caught feelings before realizing height was going to be an “issue”, somehow or another they wind up with a person who they might not have otherwise given a chance, simply because of how tall (or short) they are.
Personally, I feel like in this particular case, this guy decided that the one-inch difference was acceptable…without realizing that perhaps his girlfriend would like wearing high heels on occasion.
To be fair, when the pair started dating, the man says they actually confessed their respective height insecurities to one another.
His girlfriend told him that some men have actually stopped actively pursuing her once she stood up and revealed how tall she is, while he admitted his entire family is “height conscious.”
That “height consciousness” has certainly shown itself ever since he began dating his girlfriend.
Largely because the people this man surrounds himself with are just as caught up in the height difference as he is, and aren’t about to let him forget how little difference there is between him and his girlfriend in that department.
As he explained,
“My family and some of my work friends have seen recent pictures of me and my girlfriend when she was in heels and have laughed at how we looked together and said that we’re a ‘rare couple.'”
Recently, the man and his girlfriend were invited to his parents’ place for a dinner celebrating his dad’s 64th birthday.
Given the event, and the guests who were sure to be there, the man began to get a little nervous about what his girlfriend was going to show up wearing. Specifically, on her feet .
He explained, “I had called her and talked to her before trying to subtly insinuate that the people who were going to be there would be the type to clown us for any height difference.”
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On the night of the dinner, he waited anxiously for his date to arrive, already fearing the worst.
That’s when tragedy struck.
“When she walks in, I realize that she was wearing heels,” he recalled . “I pull her aside after she finishes her pleasantries with everybody and said I thought I made it clear that I’m done being picked on for our height difference when she’s wearing heels and she’s pretty much towering over me.”
The man demanded to know why his girlfriend had *the audacity* to wear high heels to a nice dinner party.
Understandably, she got “defensive” and insisted her heels are the only nice pair of shoes she had to wear. She also told her boyfriend that her heels “make her look good”, pointed out that no one at the party had even said anything about their height difference, and then finished by simply telling him to “deal with it.”
Which, in my opinion, is exactly how she should have handled the situation. If she had a mic, I’m sure she would have dropped it at that point, too.
Later, the partygoers decided it’s time for some group pictures to commemorate the evening.
First, the man snapped some pics with his dad, mom, and sister, but afterwards it was suggested that their partners join in the photo, too. Unfortunately, that’s where he drew the line.
“My girlfriend moves closer to me and I quickly shake my head and said ‘maybe another time.'”
It should come as no surprise that hearing her boyfriend refuse to take a picture with her broke this poor girl’s heart.
Although the man’s sister tried to plead with him to be a “good sport” and take a picture with his girlfriend, he stood his ground and insisted he wasn’t going to.
All because he didn’t want to appear shorter than her in the photo.
It wasn’t long after this that the girlfriend told him she’d like the leave the party altogether.
She was likely feeling quite hurt and embarrassed by the events of that evening, and let her boyfriend know this once they were alone.
“We say our goodbyes and in the car she says she’s had guys online and members of her own family who have joked ‘guess it’s no heels for you!’ But she said she thought I was different and was disappointed in me.”
Even after his girlfriend explained how she felt, this man doesn’t seem to think he did anything wrong.
In fact, his question to Reddit really makes it seem like he’s certain he’s most definitely the one who’s in the right here:
“[Am I the asshole] for trying to stop being treated as a side show by everybody by having another picture of my girlfriend towering over me?”
Redditors took no time at all determining this was was, in fact, the asshole.
“Reading how you straight up rejected her being in the sibling/partner photo like that actually hurt,” this person wrote. “Seek help for your insecurities instead of projecting them onto other people who have done no wrong.”
“I’d be mortified if my boyfriend ever said that to me, let alone during one of the first few times I’m meeting his family,” someone else chimed in. “Poor, poor girl.”
Others pointed out that the issue here doesn’t seem to be that the man’s girlfriend is too tall — it’s that he really feels he’s too *short*.
“I love how [he] is making this more about her being too tall vs maybe him being a bit short,” this user commented. “She’s better off without him. I can’t believe someone would let their insecurities get the best of them so badly they’d hurt someone they claimed to care about.”
Another person added, “You seem like the type of person that believes girls don’t like you because of your height, but it’s probably because you’re projecting your insecurities so hard that you’re an asshole.”
What do you think of this situation? Have you ever been in a relationship where height was such an issue? Let us know in the comments!
h/t: Reddit
