I am a media master. A pop culture padrone. A mogul of movies and a titan of television. I can write about anything, anywhere at any time.
So. What are we doing today?
The Bachelorette.
Right.
Well, saw this coming. You don’t become a pop culture writer without diving into one of these iconic TV Shows.
Listen, I’ll be the first to admit it, I’m curious about you, you seem so innocent.
But seriously…
Sorry for the Nelly Furtado reference. I couldn’t resist.
Back to The Bachelorette . I’ll be the first to admit it, I haven’t seen every single season of this show. I’ve seen the odd episode here and there, but I’ve missed a lot.
This season however has been off the chains.
Off the chains, I say! What are we on… Week five now?
And I can’t see how this can get any better, really. Truly and standout season.
First, you’ve got our Bachelorette.
Hannah Brown, the country girl with a heart of gold.
Jeeeeezzz, I know several cowboys who would fall head over boots for Ms. Brown just by looking at her!
And the guys!
Well, as per usual, they’re a bunch of good looking gentlemen.
A couple of raw personalities, a couple of early favorites and of course, a couple of no good bad boys.
The bad boy of this season is…
Has gotta be Luke P, right?
I mean, I’m no seasoned vet of this show, but he kind of seems like a d-bag and everyone in the house hates him.
And I mean…just look at him.
Just look at him. That’s probably the most punchable face I’ve ever seen.
I could picture him walking into a bar and immediately everyone is ready for this dude to sucker them.
But I digress…
Things had been heating up between Luke P. and his name twin Luke S. (jeez Hannah, how do you keep track of these hunky boys?).
Things have been getting hot like a blister bug in a pepper patch.
For starters…
The two Lukes had some words for each other during the rugby game.
And then again at the cocktail party. I think it’s safe to say that they don’t like each other.
Actually it’s very safe to say that.
It’s very safe to say that.
Because before the last rose ceremony, not only did the Lukes have a private, very dramatic conversation, but Luke S. removed himself from the competition.
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So…
Well, Luke P survived the rose ceremony, for starters.
Which of course shocked the entire world. Then again, from what I hear, there’s one like this every single season…
Now…
Well, the boys and Hannah went off to Scotland.
The land of scotch, sheep, scotch, great green fields, scotch, haggis, golf and of course, scotch. Oh, and kilts lets not forget kilts.
There was some highlander stuff.
The boys have some trouble with their axes, Hannah presumably gets to see up their kilts and Jed wins the rose after pouring milk all over himself.
Apparently, that’s hot.
But Luke P got the one on one date.
And the word I kept hearing at least was “red flag”. Hannah, it’s time you dump that zero and get with a real hero.
Literally anyone else in the cast, girl.
What do you think?
Bachelorette fans, chime in here. Tell me if Luke P is the right man for Hannah.
Or should it be Mike? It’s gotta be Mike, right? Remember how adorable that date was?
