Home sweet home.
There is so much meaning behind those three words. A home is a place where you can be yourself and let your freak flag fly.
RELATED STORIES
Don’t feel like wearing pants ? Don’t do it! Want to hang a neon beer sign in your living room? No one can stop you!
But some of these choices come back to bite you once you have guests over. Here are 19 household quirks people had to explain to guests .
Do NOT touch the rosary on the front porch.
This Redditor wrote that after it was placed there, the weird stuff stopped. “Don’t anger what is sleeping.” Um, with such a warm greeting like that, we’re not sure we want to come in…
Shoes off at the door.
“ETA: if your shoes have been worn outside to travel to my house, they’re dirty. This is a simple fact yall go and lick your shoes then try to tell me they aren’t dirty.” – u/zoeyjax
The bathroom is in the living room.
Just imagine staying at a place like this! You’d be running out to use a public bathroom just to avoid going number two in the living room while your friend’s husband catches the evening news.
They don’t have toilet paper.
“Use the bidet. No it’s not just for girls. No it doesn’t hurt; you control the pressure. Yes, it’s clean water, and no it doesn’t make a mess. Also yes, it leaves you muuucchh cleaner than TP.” – u/President-Jo
There are child locks on the cabinets in the child-free home.
No, there aren’t ghost children running around, causing mischief! This Redditor explained that the locks are there to keep their cat who opens the cabinet out of trouble.
They live above a “Thai massage place.”
“And so if I have any male friends over or my boyfriend, I have to get to the main external door before the women attempt to get them to go in for some tlc…” – u/FloofBallofAnxiety
They live above a business.
“You have to go in and through the back to get to my apartment, and from outside there’s no indication that anyone lives here. It’s a nightmare to have things delivered outside of business hours, delivery people assume there’s no one here and just go away without ringing the bell.” – u/msstark
You can’t leave your mobile phone laying around or their dog will steal it.
Sneaky dog! He clearly has a lot of important calls to return, like rebooking his grooming visit and filing a complaint against his owners for not giving him enough treats.
No one is allowed near or on the bed unless they shower.
“If you hear the vacuum running as soon as you leave, it’s because you walked in with your shoes and I’m afraid of germs.” – u/curryp4n
The building they live in is over 100 years old.
“The wiring sucks, but that‘s not the problem. You can hear everything. The old guy next door on my level having sex. The guy downstairs blowing his nose in the bathroom. The lady upstairs having game night or using her coffee grinder. I know they can hear me too.” – u/queenofskys
Their house was once the town funeral home with living quarters attached.
This means that they have two front doors. They always tell guests to just come to the back door. Buy why did the funeral home have living quarters?!
The upstairs bathroom door doesn’t latch.
“You can close it completely but you can open it with a push or nudge from the outside. No human will bother you with the door shut. The same cannot be said for the cats.” – u/agoraphobicrecluse
They put blankets over their fish tank.
“Every day at 6pm I put some blankets on top of my aquariums to let my fish sleep without the light bothering them. I always get the weirdest looks when people ask about the blankets and I tell them that they are for my fishes, apparently some people believe that fishes don’t sleep lol.” – u/whenimstressed
The “trash” all over the floor is not trash.
As this Redditor explained, it’s cardboard for the cats to play with. They don’t have kids, so that “trash” belongs to the kitties. It must have been the cardboard from expensive toys they bought for the cats!
They live “incognito.”
“The address brings you in the middle of business towers, and one wouldn’t know which building I live in, unless I specify it of course.” – u/BNR32GTR1. Are we sure they’re not a secret spy?
Be careful with the coffin.
“It’s an antique from the 1860’s. The skeleton is wearing my actual clothes. And yes, we are decorated for Halloween 365.” – u/hatterasbeachbat. When are we not careful with a coffin??
You have to wear underwear to the dinner table.
“Both kids (now in their 30’s) went through a long naked phase. We drew the line at wearing underwear at the table. Guests alway get confused when we tell them it is one of our few house rules.” – u/aground1224
There is a large framed picture of Steve Buscemi hanging above their toilet.
“There aren’t many things in this life that are more satisfying than hearing grown men scream mid-piss because they didn’t notice Steve’s steely blues piercing into their souls beforehand.” – u/lunaharakiri
A murderer used to live in the house.
No big deal! The Redditor says that the murderer didn’t commit the actual murder there. He only drove home with the body to get his shovel. We feel soooo much better now.
