Usually, when we say “kill it with fire,” we’re speaking in hyperbole.
We don’t actually want to burn our house down because a spider laid eggs in our bathroom fan, but the phrase perfectly encapsulates that extreme feeling of revulsion we get when we discover that.
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This list isn’t meant to give you the heebie-jeebies — though, it probably will — but rather, so that next time you find something awful you’ll be able to say, “At least it’s not as bad as that one thing I saw on the internet.”
Yes, there will be a lot of bugs in these pics.
Look on the bright side: I think we can diagnose the IT issue easily.
Oh, so that’s why the WiFi is down. It’s also why the customer totally lied when they said that they’d already tried turning it off and then on again.
A swarm of bees can be really unnerving to find in your yard.
Thankfully, as long as you don’t disturb them, they’ll move on in a couple of days. Or you could make the day of a local beekeeper by letting them come and get it.
You know how as a kid, ‘Jaws’ made you irrationally think there would be sharks in the toilet?
How about an actual snake in the pipes? I am so very glad that the worst things clogging up my neighborhood pipes are tree roots.
Go ahead, take the convertible out for a spin. I dare you.
I know it seems convenient to leave the top down when the weather is nice and you plan to go out again later, but then you end up with things like this.
I would like to thank the movie industry for making this terrifying.
Now none of us can ever see a red balloon again without thinking of creepy clowns. Awesome.
That’s not just a big spider.
That’s a big mama spider carrying all of her babies. Because even babies can be terrifying!
It’s possible that this isn’t a herd of spiders.
It could simply be new landscaping that needs time to fill out. But, I’m sorry, the flamethrower will have to be taken to it, just in case.
That’s a pillowcase that spider is lying on.
I’ll leave it to zahlee01 to explain this horror:
“Just found a big wolf spider in my pillow – AFTER I woke up! This is how I found it, it was still alive – just.”
Yes, it’s another spider.
But this one is in a peephole . You put your eye up against that! I feel so grossed out and twitchy right now.
I don’t think I want to know what they’re escaping…
Fun fact: I once had a house centipede land on my butt cheek when I was using the toilet in the middle of the night.
Screw night vision, I piss with the lights on now.
I’m sorry, but you’re going to have to burn your bush now.
If it makes you feel any better, those spider mites will probably kill the plant anyway, so you may as well take them down with it.
Hey look! This one’s not a bug!
However, this is the WORST idea for a staircase I have ever seen. Aside from being terrifying, the lack of clear edges probably messes up the depth perception we need to use stairs without falling.
Not to mention skirts.
This time, the office wasn’t burnt down over a red stapler.
Instead, one of the cubicle dwellers discovered THIS. If there is one, there is many. The fire was required.
Does it make you feel better if I say that the snake is actually quite small?
No? Sorry.
The grasshoppers are known as plains lubbers, and can grow almost to the size of a human palm.
Whelp, hope you have fire insurance.
Because the only way you could ever get me to climb into that car again is if it’s burnt to a crisp and then rebuilt from the frame on up.
I’ll see your wasp’s nest and raise you one nope rope.
Or danger noodle, whichever your preferred nomenclature is for this scaly thing that definitely shouldn’t be hanging out in your car.
This spider sealed its fate.
If there’s a fire, who’s going pull the alarm in time to save its eight-legged-life? Not me, that’s for sure.
This is why I have a strict “don’t look in the garbage can” rule.
This may be just a horseshoe crab, but flipped upside down like that it looks more like something from H.P. Lovecraft. If the world is going to die in some eldrich horror, I don’t want to have to see it.
It’s a universal truth that the more legs something has, the creepier it is.
And there are so many legs in this pic of another mom and her creepy babies.
For the record, I uploaded this pic into the article last, simply so that I didn’t have to look at it for very long.
Ironic that the name is synonymous with “small.”
This is a shrimp. Yep. You read that right. A SHRIMP. A fisherman pulled in this monster shrimp and hopefully immediately killed it with fire. Or steamed it and served it with butter. I would not want to be the one who tried to eat this thing.
Hot sauce with a side of ants.
I don’t know if it’ll make it better or worse if I tell you those are bug bits in that hot sauce, but they’re in there on purpose. It’s a brand of hot sauce that includes ants.
Stereo problems?
A Reddit user noticed there was a problem with their stereo, and when they cracked it open, they noticed (in their words) “this idiot.”
If I found a roach in anything I owned, it would be time to sell everything I own.
Feeling hungry?
This person cracked open a pistachio and found three cocoons inside. Add ‘pistachios’ to the list of foods I am never touching again.
I’m never going to Australia.
Someone found this guy hanging out in their engine bay. I think I’ll take the bus, actually, and I’ll take it bus all the way to the airport and then leave Australia forever.
That’s one way to make sure they can’t read your meter.
And it’s also one way to make sure I never come over to your house ever again. I don’t even want to think about Australia ever again.
A close call.
This little guy almost made it into someone’s ear. I almost thought it was cute, since it’s so tiny, but with that little fact, I’m going to be double checking my Q-tips from now until forever.
Rat tailed maggots. That’s it.
I don’t think I have to say anything more than the words “rat tailed maggots.” They’re maggots that look like they ate a rat. They’re officially the worst.
You want a chip?
These are potato chips covered in dead ants. Yum! Crunchy and loaded with protein — what more could you possibly want?
Welcome to Florida!
These are mayflies. A nice big swarm of them. Just making sure your walk home or to your car is one you’ll have nightmares about for years to come. How considerate of them.
