Evil geniuses aren’t a figment of our imagination. Real-life Dr. Evils exist among us. Fortunately, the thing that separates them from cartoonish super-villains is their scope. Most of them don’t want to destroy the planet, they just want to play a prank on you.
“Still my best April Fools prank I performed on my wife. Broke old car window, rolled her window down, scattered glass around vehicle and staged the area. She wasn’t amused.”
Let’s start with a baseline prank. This guy played a joke on his wife by…essentially breaking into her car. That’s like burning someone’s house down and then claiming it was a devilish prank.
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“I pranked my wife.”
Here’s a better way to prank your spouse. You’ll get a good reaction, but the prank isn’t going to cause any damage. All it costs you is a bag of fake roaches, which can’t be that expensive.
“Google gets pranked.”
I think Google is firmly in the ‘too big to fail’ category at this point in time. But if things ever do get rough for Google, it’s nice to know that there’s always a backup plan in place.
“My best friend’s April fools prank.”
This is a good prank, sure. It’s going to make people smile, maybe even tear up, at the promise of Blockbuster making its big comeback. Then, when Blockbuster doesn’t make its return, it’ll bring tears of sadness.
“I pranked my boss today about his terrible handwriting. I replaced all his pens with crayons and his paper with handwriting tablets for learning your ABCs.”
This is an on-point joke to play, but if you’re going to do this to your boss, just make sure they have a good sense of humor beforehand.
“I made some joke gifts for friends.”
The “beginner’s weights” gift is a simple visual gag that’ll get a few laughs. But if anyone takes the “puzzle pieces” gift seriously, they might just go mad trying to put that puzzle together.
“I am the only one in the building today. Someone pranked me and scared me to death.”
Ooh, this is a good one. Investing in some cardboard stand-ups of the creepy little twin girls from The Shining seems like it would be a good investment for pranksters everywhere.
“A brewery near me decided to name their newest beer after a recent email they received.”
How do you turn a negative into a positive? There are plenty of ways, but one is to turn an angry customer review into your hottest-selling product.
“Used my weird Chrismtas gift for evil.”
If you receive a replica human head as a gift, the correct response is to ask, “Why?” and then immediately to find the nearest fridge. I mean, it’s a fake head. What else are you going to do with it?
“A year ago I started sending my GF these photos whenever she asked if the baby was ok.”
Has this guy ever heard of the boy who cried wolf? It might be tough to get his girlfriend to care if their kid ever gets into an actual emergency.
“A fun game I like to play at work. I call it chip roulette.”
This is downright evil, and I’m totally here for it. Side note: those extremely hot Paquis chips are great if you only want to eat one of something.
“I switched out all my co-worker’s cheat sheets while he was out.”
If this co-worker has the phonetic alphabet memorized, this prank is meaningless. But, based on the fact that he has this cheat sheet, it’s safe to assume that he doesn’t have it memorized.
“The chances of being killed by a baby are low, but not zero.”
This is an important point to remember. The scariest part is that the chances of a baby killing you only grow as the baby gets bigger, stronger, smarter and evil-er.
“Evil geniuses, the lot of them.”
Depending on your level of willpower, seeing delicious Girl Guide cookies being sold outside your gym would either be a chance to resist temptation, or a sign that you never really were much of a gym person.
“Lady has a great sense of humor.”
I’m not sure where Stumptown is, or how it got its distinctive name. If I had to guess, I’d say that it was probably founded by this lady’s ancestors way back in the day.
“My wife said when I pass she would go the extra mile to give me the burial I deserve…”
It’s always comforting to know that your loved ones have made plans for when you die. Well, sometimes it’s comforting, at least.
“My newborn son and Dr. Evil….. separated at birth?”
When parents look at their newborn, they’re seeing a blank canvas. There’s no saying what that baby might accomplish. Sometimes, though, you know right off the bat that the kid is going to be evil.
“It’s been a stealthy three months.”
This is simply devilish. Most people just immediately click through this menu, especially when their profile is the default. I wonder how long this person is going to be able to get free Netflix.
“Visiting my sister’s house, went for some M&Ms and discovered she’s Satan.”
Some people appreciate law and order while others simply embrace chaos. It’s safe to say that anyone who mixes M&Ms with Skittles definitely belongs in the latter category.
“Some evil genius put clap activated on a broken dryer. Yes, I fell for it more than once.”
Fun tip: if anyone ever asks where a light switch in your house is, just tell them it’s clap activated. Then laugh at them, then, if you do it enough, you’ll have no friends left.
