12+ Hilarious Amazon Reviews That Deserve An Award

Product reviews are a fantastic way to ensure that what you’re buying is the right product for you. Well, they would be if anyone on the internet could be serious about anything for more than five minutes.

From people causing themselves serious injuries to accusing household devices of destroying their marriage, here are 12+ of the most hilarious amazon reviews on the internet today.

Waw! Wat A Great Edea!

A great geft fer berfdaes!

The Most Elaborate Murder Plot Ever

Ahh, the perfect crime. Well, unless you buy this amazingly reliable product! Looks directly into camera and raises product up to eye level .

*KAW! KAW!*

Screams In Penguin!

Fart Amplification Gel

Never before has the phrase “interlocking silencer” been used in such a frankly ludicrous sentence.

I review this review 5/5, would laugh until I fart loudly again.

“A Rock Solid Buttocks”

I think I’ve also seen that final line used as review of someone’s Tinder profile.

The Most Wholesome Selfie Stick Review Ever

Next time you’re on holiday moaning about the amount of selfie sticks (and believe you me, I’ve moaned more than most) just think that those little crap sticks helped this one wholesome man take the best picture of himself in 60 years!

Samsung S10 In Clay Grey

I particularly like that because they had to verify their purchase, the review still describes the lump of clay as being the S10 model in Prism Black with 128 GB storage. Truly, the things they can do with clay these days.

This Horse’s Head Saved My life

All joking aside, anyone who has ever spent any time in one of these things will know how massively uncomfortable they are. I remember thinking it would be a good idea to go as BoJack Horseman to a halloween party in one of these. Ten minutes of being there and I realised I had made a huge mistake.

Plug it In And Watch Your Menial Quarrels Become Your Primary Quarrels!

Are you tired of arguing about things like who’s using the charger? Well, thanks to this 4 port charger, you can get back to arguing about crippling alcoholism and unrequited celebrity crushes in no time!

No Complaints.

Knowing my granddad, there actually would be complaints. Not even death would be able to get in the way of him and sending something back!

0/10 Would Wear These Shorts Again

I can safely say that I would also give this review “0/10, Would not picture again!”

Not Transparent Enough.

Disclaimer: Snorkel and goggles not included.

Agony Brush

The mental image of this is bad enough alone, let alone imagining the sensation.

“Beds should look like beds”

Image the state an iceam cream sandwich that size would be in by the time it arrived!

Review On A Roku Streaming Stick

There are a surprising amount of these that revolve around the wellbeing of people’s mother-in-laws which is quite concerning.

“We’ve even incorporated it into our lovemaking.”

I do not, I repeat do not, want to know how they managed to incorporate something of that shape and function into sex.

Speaking As A Non-Lactating Male

You know that anything that starts with the phrase “As a non-lactating male” is going somewhere strange.

I’d Say These Worked Just As Well As They Should Have.

Personally, I don’t think there’s ever been a more perfect situation to use a plethora of kazoos than while drowning out Westboro Baptist Church protesters. 5/5 stars is accurate.

At Least We Know The Video Monitor Works?

Maybe this wasn’t exactly what they thought they would find, but clearly this is one satisfied customer. Now they know exactly what’s been going on upstairs. Unrelated, but does Amazon offer exorcism kits?

The Perfect Way To Get Nothing Done Ever.

If I ever made myself a waffle keyboard, I know for a fact that I, too, would spend the entire day admiring its deliciousness on my desk without getting a single bit of work done. So anyone who wants to purchase this product, be warned: with great power comes great responsibility.

ASK ME HOW GOOD THIS COFFEE IS. I DARE YOU.

Anyone else imagining this person vibrating on the spot with the sweet, sweet buzz of caffeine coursing hotly through their veins? Same. And I’m actually a little jealous that’s not me.

What A Handy, Dandy, Does-Everything-Possible Tool.

I actually have this tool too, and while attempting to cut the tag off a shirt,I blacked out. When I woke up, I discovered had somehow managed to install a brand new kitchen for my mom, complete with stainless steel appliances, marble tile, and heated floors. Wild.

How Dare It?!

I am outraged and frankly, I just hope everyone reads these reviews so they don’t make the same mistake.

$119,999.99 For A Curved Television? Count Me In!

Honestly, while this television is hilariously overpriced, I basically have the same reaction whenever I buy anything over $20. Except food, that never seems to faze me.

Nah, I’m Sure It’s Not Important.

Honestly, I wouldn’t worry too much about this. It’s just an exhaust pipe cover, right? What’s the worst that could happen?

Just…Please Never Do This, Okay? It’s For Your Own Good.

We’ve all heard horror stories about black lights and hotel rooms, but I think in this case, I think ignorance is bliss.

How Silent Is This “Silent” Mouse Exactly? Well…

Does that answer your question? Yeah, it’s that silent.

There Are Definitely Some Pros And Cons Here For Sure.

Personally, I think the whole “I can read minds” pro makes this whole experience totally worth it. So you have a few jitters, so what? So you can’t feel your face, so what? You can read minds .

Worst Tent Ever.

I’m just happy this person was able to DIY themselves an actual tent when this $349 one failed them.

“Worked Like A Charm.”

That’s one way to make sure no one sits next to you on the bus. Other options include blowing your nose into your hands, opening a container of particularly pungent fish, or wearing a MAGA hat.

I’d Definitely Call This Review “Helpful”.

This is poetry in motion, people. And I trust that the missing star is due to the unfortunate realization the scale helped this person come to and is not a comment on its effectiveness.

What’s The Difference?

Personally, I’m far more interested in finding out more about this yodeling pickle than I am in listening to anything Just Bieber ever puts out. And that is a fact .

This Teddy Bear Has Definitely Seen Some Things.

While I’m not sure this reviewer’s speculation is entirely accurate, it is hilarious and definitely brings into question just what exactly happened to the teddy before shipping. The people want to know, Amazon.

Okay, Now I Feel Like I Need To Try This Mattress Topper For Myself.

This person knows exactly what to write to spark intrigue in consumers. Perhaps they should considering going into the marketing business?

This Is One Happy Customer!

I’d call that money well spent, wouldn’t you? Sounds like this sticker has changed some lives, and I’m definitely interested in seeing how it’ll change mine.

What More Do You Need To Know?

This reviewer was happy to let people know that the rice cooker works as advertised. It does, indeed, cook rice. And really, that’s all we need it to do for us. 5/5 stars.

The Cricut Explore Air 2 Mint DIY Cutting Machine Ruined My Marriage!

Sometimes couples just drift apart over time, sometimes the spark just inexplicably dies, and sometimes your wife buys a Cricut Explore Air 2 Mint DIY Cutting Machine. It’s a tale as old as time.

h/t: Bored Panda

It’s A Review For Lighter Fluid, That Is All.

Do you want to know about lighter fluid? Do you want a review for lighter fluid? Then this is the lighter fluid review for you.

Stiches Not Included

I mean, it might not be the testimonial they were looking for, but it’s still pretty good!