Sometimes it feels like Twitter really gets us. I think it’s because the app is made up of millions of people, so a lot of them are going to have the same kinds of life experiences .
Either way, these tweets feel a little too close to home. It’s like someone out there is reading our minds and putting them on the internet.
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It’s called FOMO and it sucks.
See, stuff like this is exactly why I have a fear of missing out whenever my friends get together without me. Like, no! Don’t make up inside jokes when I’m not there. Include meeeee.
Priorities, priorities.
I don’t think there’s a person alive who wouldn’t at least consider doing something like this. Like, it’s easy enough to dry yourself off (or expect your partner to dry off), but takeout doesn’t taste good when it’s soggy.
Those couple of years make a difference.
I think the real question should be if your school had Wi-Fi , not just any old ethernet connection. Because, yeah, then those years would actually make a difference.
Sometimes I wonder if people slightly younger than me think the internet was invented yesterday.
When your pet also doubles as your therapist:
If this cat could talk, I don’t think it would have anything positive to say. In fact, maybe we’re better off living in a world where pets can’t talk. Or really understand human language.
And yet we always shop there anyway.
Advertisers are trying really hard to connect with the average socially conscious young person right now. Whatever happened to the good old days of “buy these jeans, they’ll make you look cool!”?
Your sleep schedule will HATE you.
If you stay up until 3am every once in a while, it’s kind of fun. But next thing you know, you can’t fall asleep at 11 and you’re averaging four hours of sleep and life is just terrible.
You’re always accountable in every instant.
Being in a long-term relationship means that somebody’s getting in trouble for… no reason. Not all the time, of course, but often enough, I guess. That’s what happens when you don’t develop mind reading abilities.
How can you see a picture of a pet and not be excited?
I don’t know this person or their cat, but I would be offended too. I mean, it’s a cat! You can’t not look at one without going “awwww!”
Sorry to all the divorced dads out there.
Even if your parents never divorced, chances are you’ve seen enough shows and/or movies to know exactly what this vibe is. And… I can’t really argue with that. Like, at all.
You mean I have to pay taxes!?
Becoming an adult is great because it means you get to eat what you want, live in your own space, and do whatever you want in general. Too bad all that stuff costs money…
Sounds like the life, honestly…
You know what? This is the kind of retirement I’m working toward. I just decided this. We all deserve the sort of carefree lifestyle of elderly men who’ve earned the right to complain all day.
Always during your favorite parts, too.
We all have at least one person in our lives who loves to talk through movies. And if you don’t, it might be you. And, uh, no one finds it that endearing.
Raise your hand if you’ve done this:
Don’t worry, I won’t judge. In fact, I’ve definitely done it before too. Sometimes I really wish we could text our pets, even though I know we’re better off not being able to.
Some people just don’t get your humor.
I’m kind of offended on her behalf that the guy unmatched. That was a pretty strong opener for a dating app. But I’m sure there’ll be someone out there who appreciates that kind of humor.
Am I okay? Let me think about that for a minute…
This seems like the kind of thing I’d do if I was running on fumes and hadn’t had my morning coffee yet (not that I’m speaking from experience…).
Just five more minutes.
The trick is to set an early alarm, and then set a second alarm a good half hour later. Then you’ll feel like you got to “rest your eyes.”
Again, not that I’m speaking from experience or anything…
Every relationship in general, actually.
We all have that one friend, or maybe a sibling, or a parent even. Some people care a lot about reporting celebrity deaths, while the people around them can only say, “oh.”
Shh, don’t give away our secrets!
I think this is exactly why there are so many apps popping up that literally exist to remember and encrypt all your passwords. Because this is pretty risky. If anyone steals your phone, it’s game over.
Disconnecting is so calming.
I mean, do we ever really disconnect if we’re still using the internet to watch movies, or even just watching TV on cable? No, I don’t think so. I also don’t think that’s so much of a bad thing.
You know when you forget someone’s name and you just…
I really wish I didn’t relate to this as much as I do. No, I never called Shrek Summertime Grinch, but it feels like something I probably would do.
