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Caregiver’s SHOCKING Ultimatum to Disabled MIL: ‘Use a Bedpan or Else!’

by Diply Social Team
1 year ago
in Family
Reading Time: 14 mins read
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Buckle up, folks! We’ve got a doozy of a dilemma on our hands. Our exhausted protagonist finds herself in a sticky situation with her frail mother-in-law. ‍♀️ As the designated caregiver, she’s been running herself ragged trying to keep up with her MIL’s constant bathroom breaks. But now, the lack of sleep and endless lifting have pushed her to the brink. Will a bedpan be the solution, or will it only add fuel to the fire? Let’s dive in and find out!

A Strained Situation at Home

Image credit: remarkable-noise-526 | remarkable-noise-526
remarkable-noise-526 | remarkable-noise-526

‍♀️ Stepping Up as the Caregiver

Image credit: remarkable-noise-526 | remarkable-noise-526
remarkable-noise-526 | remarkable-noise-526

Nighttime Nightmare Begins

Image credit: remarkable-noise-526 | remarkable-noise-526
remarkable-noise-526 | remarkable-noise-526

Toilet Trips on Repeat

Image credit: remarkable-noise-526 | remarkable-noise-526
remarkable-noise-526 | remarkable-noise-526

Sleep? What’s That?

Image credit: remarkable-noise-526 | remarkable-noise-526
remarkable-noise-526 | remarkable-noise-526

️‍♀️ Lifting More Than Just Spirits

Image credit: remarkable-noise-526 | remarkable-noise-526
remarkable-noise-526 | remarkable-noise-526

Guilt-Ridden but Exhausted

Image credit: remarkable-noise-526 | remarkable-noise-526
remarkable-noise-526 | remarkable-noise-526

‍♀️ MIL’s Stubborn Stance

Image credit: remarkable-noise-526 | remarkable-noise-526
remarkable-noise-526 | remarkable-noise-526

A Once-Friendly Bond Strained

Image credit: remarkable-noise-526 | remarkable-noise-526
remarkable-noise-526 | remarkable-noise-526

Caregiver’s Conundrum: Bedpan Battle with MIL!

Well, well, well… it seems our protagonist has found herself in quite the pickle! Juggling the role of caregiver and sleep-deprived zombie, she’s at her wit’s end with her MIL’s nightly bathroom adventures. But her attempt to introduce a bedpan has only added to the drama, with her MIL refusing to use it and holding it in out of spite! The once-friendly relationship has turned sour, and her husband is steering clear of the whole mess. ‍♂️ So, what does the internet think of this potty predicament? Let’s see what wisdom the masses have to offer!

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Sincere sympathy for caregiver’s difficult situation, NTA, husband shameful.

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Spouse must help care for his mother. NTA wins.

Image credit: Zibellina | Zibellina
Zibellina | Zibellina

User suggests options for caregiver’s husband’s lack of help.

Image credit: hockeygarden29 | hockeygarden29
hockeygarden29 | hockeygarden29

Spouse should take responsibility for MIL’s care. NTA

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Spouse refusing to care for his own mother? NTA, stand firm!

Image credit: KittenKath | KittenKath
KittenKath | KittenKath

Husband’s lack of support puts caregiver in tough spot

Image credit: tosser9212 | tosser9212
tosser9212 | tosser9212

Sensible advice for caring for elderly MIL with incontinence.

Image credit: beebsaleebs | beebsaleebs
beebsaleebs | beebsaleebs

NTA suggests nursing home for disabled MIL. Offers personal experience and advice.

Image credit: Smudgikins | Smudgikins
Smudgikins | Smudgikins

RN suggests Purewick for elderly patient, calls out husband’s behavior.

Image credit: Shot-Department3626 | Shot-Department3626
Shot-Department3626 | Shot-Department3626

Husband’s lack of support for MIL’s care reveals true intentions

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Caretaker suggests alternatives for MIL’s excessive nighttime bathroom trips.

Image credit: panda_in_the_void | panda_in_the_void
panda_in_the_void | panda_in_the_void

Setting boundaries with MIL’s hygiene . Husband is an AH.

Image credit: venlovesrpdr | venlovesrpdr
venlovesrpdr | venlovesrpdr

Spouse should provide for MIL’s night time care. NTA

Image credit: Sparkleunicorn272727 | Sparkleunicorn272727
Sparkleunicorn272727 | Sparkleunicorn272727

Husband needs to step up and help his disabled mother.

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Stand your ground and remind him she’s HIS mother

Image credit: professorllayton | professorllayton
professorllayton | professorllayton

Supportive comment urges OP to stand up to lousy husband. NTA

Image credit: ParapaPalace | ParapaPalace
ParapaPalace | ParapaPalace

Don’t sacrifice your health for MIL’s unreasonable demands

Image credit: Lady_Ellie119 | Lady_Ellie119
Lady_Ellie119 | Lady_Ellie119

Caregiver burnout is real! Seek help and support

Image credit: Cat-catt | Cat-catt
Cat-catt | Cat-catt

Suggests putting MIL in a home for round-the-clock care. NTA.

Image credit: Ranos131 | Ranos131
Ranos131 | Ranos131

Caring for a loved one is tough, sleep is necessary

Image credit: Sentient-Fleshlight | Sentient-Fleshlight
Sentient-Fleshlight | Sentient-Fleshlight

Spouse won’t help care for disabled MIL, NTA for prioritizing self

Image credit: aussiefamily | aussiefamily
aussiefamily | aussiefamily

Helpful advice on alternatives to ultimatum, NTA comment

Image credit: Shaggymaggie | Shaggymaggie
Shaggymaggie | Shaggymaggie

You’re not responsible for your MIL’s care. NTA

Image credit: madrugada | madrugada
madrugada | madrugada

NTA caregiver needs support from weak husband to handle MIL

Image credit: Cool_Will_24 | Cool_Will_24
Cool_Will_24 | Cool_Will_24

Take a break, let him experience what it’s like. NTA

Image credit: trustytip | trustytip
trustytip | trustytip

NTA. Caretaker role is not yours alone. Have conversation about alternatives.

Image credit: Other_Appeal6415 | Other_Appeal6415
Other_Appeal6415 | Other_Appeal6415

Spouse must take responsibility for his disabled mother’s care!

Image credit: Jovon35 | Jovon35
Jovon35 | Jovon35

UTI possibility raised for MIL’s incontinence by commenter.

Image credit: mom7890 | mom7890
mom7890 | mom7890

Caretaker burnout? Night nurse or care home are options.

Image credit: ICWhatsNUrP | ICWhatsNUrP
ICWhatsNUrP | ICWhatsNUrP

Compassionate advice on caregiving and exploring other options.

Image credit: grammie2eight | grammie2eight
grammie2eight | grammie2eight

NTA. Caregiver’s best but husband should help with MIL’s care

Image credit: AmethistStars | AmethistStars
AmethistStars | AmethistStars

Medical professional defends use of hoists and stand aids. Spouse AH.

Image credit: Saysaywhat91 | Saysaywhat91
Saysaywhat91 | Saysaywhat91

Teen caregiver deserves partner’s help, not ultimatums.

Image credit: Boring_mom19 | Boring_mom19
Boring_mom19 | Boring_mom19

Tough love or harsh reality? NTA suggests old folks home

Image credit: SuperVanessa007 | SuperVanessa007
SuperVanessa007 | SuperVanessa007

A nursing student suggests professional care for disabled MIL.

Image credit: soupstarsandsilence | soupstarsandsilence
soupstarsandsilence | soupstarsandsilence

Former caregiver recommends commode for MIL’s bathroom needs.

Image credit: Ok_Introduction_4069 | Ok_Introduction_4069
Ok_Introduction_4069 | Ok_Introduction_4069

Helpful advice on elderly bed aids and toilet grab bars

Image credit: PattersonsOlady | PattersonsOlady
PattersonsOlady | PattersonsOlady

Caregiving struggles and the need for a serious conversation.

Image credit: stropette | stropette
stropette | stropette

Hiring night care may be a better option.

Image credit: ZOE_XCII | ZOE_XCII
ZOE_XCII | ZOE_XCII

Prioritizing self-care is crucial, bringing in outside help recommended.

Image credit: prove____it | prove____it
prove____it | prove____it

Caregiver’s cruel ultimatum causes sleep deprivation and torture

Image credit: 4alark | 4alark
4alark | 4alark

A helpful suggestion for caring for elderly family members at night.

Image credit: jack2bax | jack2bax
jack2bax | jack2bax

Caregiver advised to hire a nurse, limit MIL’s drinking

Image credit: Steups13 | Steups13
Steups13 | Steups13

NTA suggests MIL goes to rehab or nursing home

Image credit: TheLastGerudo | TheLastGerudo
TheLastGerudo | TheLastGerudo

Sensible suggestion for caregiver to take a break and delegate duties

Image credit: lauraleipz | lauraleipz
lauraleipz | lauraleipz

Overworked caregiver needs help from MIL’s son.

Image credit: Fluffy_Ad_9433 | Fluffy_Ad_9433
Fluffy_Ad_9433 | Fluffy_Ad_9433

Assisted living might be better for MIL.

Image credit: wind-river7 | wind-river7
wind-river7 | wind-river7

Stand your ground! Help husband understand the consequences.

Image credit: Nightingur | Nightingur
Nightingur | Nightingur

Suggests seeing a doctor for injuries becoming permanent damage.

Image credit: Vccccccccc | Vccccccccc
Vccccccccc | Vccccccccc

Caregiver’s health must come first, MIL should use bedpan

Image credit: JHawk444 | JHawk444
JHawk444 | JHawk444

Stand your ground . It’s not worth ruining yourself physically and mentally.

Image credit: JoanneSmith567 | JoanneSmith567
JoanneSmith567 | JoanneSmith567

Husband should step up. NTA caregiver seeks nighttime assistance.

Image credit: MaranwaeAmandil | MaranwaeAmandil
MaranwaeAmandil | MaranwaeAmandil

Caring for MIL with dementia isn’t easy. NTA for setting boundaries.

Image credit: Brefailslife420 | Brefailslife420
Brefailslife420 | Brefailslife420

Nurse advises lifting equipment for MIL, urges husband to help. ‍⚕️

Image credit: Ohmalley-thealliecat | Ohmalley-thealliecat
Ohmalley-thealliecat | Ohmalley-thealliecat

NTA but harsh truth about growing old with an ungrateful spouse

Image credit: pinkloafers | pinkloafers
pinkloafers | pinkloafers

Solutions suggested for caregiver struggling with disabled MIL’s needs.

Image credit: typhlosion109 | typhlosion109
typhlosion109 | typhlosion109

Caregiver defends not lifting disabled MIL, suggests hoist or home placement.

Image credit: ifmtobh | ifmtobh
ifmtobh | ifmtobh

Husband’s sexist and gross behavior criticized, bedpan solution offered.

Image credit: Capital_Armadillo780 | Capital_Armadillo780
Capital_Armadillo780 | Capital_Armadillo780

A helpful NTA suggests bedside commode or PureWick to save relationships

Image credit: No_Leopard_9523 | No_Leopard_9523
No_Leopard_9523 | No_Leopard_9523

Husband needs to step up and help his mother. You’re NTA

Image credit: smalltowncountrylady | smalltowncountrylady
smalltowncountrylady | smalltowncountrylady

Incontinence pants vs. every hour bedpan: NTA wins, MIL & husband lose

Image credit: KtKi10 | KtKi10
KtKi10 | KtKi10

Encouragement to caregiver to prioritize self-care and husband’s involvement.

Image credit: Maximum-Mode2757 | Maximum-Mode2757
Maximum-Mode2757 | Maximum-Mode2757

Husband called out for lack of help, solutions suggested

Image credit: Active-Ad4429 | Active-Ad4429
Active-Ad4429 | Active-Ad4429

Caregiver shares NTA experience of caring for grandparents and suggests bringing in night help or finding proper care for MIL.

Image credit: krissi510 | krissi510
krissi510 | krissi510

Professional help needed for disabled MIL, NTA.

Image credit: Helgardh | Helgardh
Helgardh | Helgardh

Caregiving is tough. NTA suggests a vacation and MIL needs medical attention.

Image credit: xxfemalehuman | xxfemalehuman
xxfemalehuman | xxfemalehuman

Diaper suggestion for disabled MIL sparks cost-saving debate. NTA.

Image credit: Few-Afternoon-6276 | Few-Afternoon-6276
Few-Afternoon-6276 | Few-Afternoon-6276

Sensible suggestion for caregiver and criticism of son’s behavior.

Image credit: Auntienursey | Auntienursey
Auntienursey | Auntienursey

NTA. Your husband needs to step up and take responsibility.

Image credit: TimeSovereign | TimeSovereign
TimeSovereign | TimeSovereign

NTA suggests a practical and cost-effective solution for caregiver’s dilemma.

Image credit: tayakb | tayakb
tayakb | tayakb

NTA. Suggests taking a well-deserved vacation and getting MIL a caregiver.

Image credit: 6poundpuppy | 6poundpuppy
6poundpuppy | 6poundpuppy

Suggests seeking medical help and assisted living options

Image credit: Whycantihavethatone | Whycantihavethatone
Whycantihavethatone | Whycantihavethatone

Caring for disabled MIL may require full care facility. NTA.

Image credit: catsmom63 | catsmom63
catsmom63 | catsmom63

Commode recommendation for disabled MIL, husband should help more

Image credit: YuGiOhPokemonStevie | YuGiOhPokemonStevie
YuGiOhPokemonStevie | YuGiOhPokemonStevie

Caregiving is exhausting, invest in bedside commode. NTA, consider in-home care.

Image credit: Munchkin737 | Munchkin737
Munchkin737 | Munchkin737

Helpful advice for NTA caregiver dealing with MIL’s incontinence issue

Image credit: Crow_with_a_Cheeto | Crow_with_a_Cheeto
Crow_with_a_Cheeto | Crow_with_a_Cheeto

Demanding overnight aid, commenter takes no crap from husband.

Image credit: Divine_Mind257 | Divine_Mind257
Divine_Mind257 | Divine_Mind257

Using incontinence aids preserves dignity, NTA judgement confirmed

Image credit: Shexleesh | Shexleesh
Shexleesh | Shexleesh
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