Mom holding two kids screaming
Unsplash | Jose Escobar

25 Tweets For All The Hot Mess Moms Out There

One thing is true about moms, no matter how many kids you have. At the end of the day, if you have one, two, three, or even four kids—you are downright exhausted.

These Instagram moms who are put together and look like they have it all, it's all for show. We know that the true, real mom is a hot mess and barely making it through the day.

Eventually, we give up.

So many moms strive to be the "technology-free" mom who has kids who want to read and color and do organically fun things with no screen time. But, we all break down. We all need time away from our kids.

That's a fact.

Our kids look to us for strength, wisdom, and advice. But, most days we barely know how we are functioning. How is it that we are even parents, at all? Sometimes, we don't even know what month, week, or year it is.

Don't ask me to get out at drop-off.

Whenever we're bringing our kids anywhere, from school to a play date, we dress as though we had no idea we would have to see anyone. Sometimes, the pajamas stay on and they are not coming off any time soon.

Leaning on y'all for support.

While we love shopping at Target, many times, we do it for the other moms who show us love and support just by being themselves. We need to see the other moms who struggle just as much as we do.

I need everyone to know.

If I am getting up, getting dressed, doing my hair and makeup, you are damn right that I want the world to see. Most days, they see me in sweatpants and a messy bun. So, if I put on mascara, you're getting a full slideshow.

Ah, this is what dreams are made of.

When my husband takes the kids and lets me have the house to myself, that's actual bliss. I can watch my shows, drink my wine, and put my feet up without someone asking me for something.

This is mommy's snack.

On the bad days, we need something to help take that edge off. And, there's no shame in taking what your doctor gives you to help you get by. Sometimes, it just helps us be a little better than most.

It counts for something.

Sure, my legs may crack and my back is crooked and I look like I haven't slept in a week, but I'm turning heads and getting attention. Attention is attention, good or bad—right? Maybe not so much.

It's a mind game.

All moms know we use everything our kids hate as ammunition to keep our peace. If that means we lie and say our pie is a casserole, it means we lie and say our pie is a casserole for the sake of enjoying our pie alone.

I'll win this game.

My toddler may want to play a game about locking me in jail, but little does she know I have my phone and this is secretly what I have been wanting to do all day long while she has been following me around.

Find me the recipe.

If my fitness instructor says abs are made in the kitchen, I need that recipe as soon as possible. No, I'm not cutting out my fried chicken and my mac and cheese, but I will cook whatever the abs need.

Someone's going to need it.

Parenting advice 101 means that you need a strong drink on the nights you feel like you've failed—which, most days, is every night. So, this is the best way to respond to advice cards for incoming mommas.

We slowly fall off the crazy wagon.

Everyone who has more than one kid knows that the first one is the one we wrap in bubble wrap and protect at all costs. The second kid, we try. The third, well, it's a lost cause.

Hahahaha, what a joke.

When I had one kid, I thought I was exhausted and I'd never feel better again. But, now that I have more than one kid, I have absolutely no idea what sleep is or if I will ever get it again.

She's not lying.

Most jobs want you to have years and years of experience. But, becoming a parent has taught me that you can truly fake it until you make it. And, by making it, I mean literally just keeping your child alive.

It means I'm a mom.

All moms know that eventually when you become a parent, your wardrobe changes from "bar and club clothes" to pajamas and sweatpants you can throw on easily to sit and watch your kids play with blocks.

Or kids screaming in your face.

Every parent looks forward to their morning coffee. However, there are some days when you get woken up by other things. Like, dropping your phone on your face. Or, your toddler jumping on you while you're in the middle of REM.

But, why not?

Flying with a baby is rough. Flying with your own baby is even harder. Everyone looks at you like you're the devil and your baby, usually, cries the entire time. So what if we want to change our seat? We just need some space!

We can switch it up real quick.

Moms who start off nice know it's better to do it this way than to go right for the Batman voice. The slow progression shows our kids we are not messing around and we mean business.

I'll take 100.

I would love to throw my 5-year-old in a swaddle and let them roll around on the living room floor. They can't touch anything, can't throw anything, and can't break anything. It's a dream come true, I'd buy a ton.

One can only dream.

I had hopes and dreams as a child, wanting to live a life of freedom, traveling, and vacations. Now, I have dark bags under my eyes and a toddler climbing up my leg. I just want to sleep.

Another day, another struggle.

Why is it that when we need to do something important, our kids need to analyze the weirdest and most random things? Sometimes, we just need to get out of the house without another problem that we cannot solve.

Sometimes we need a break.

Most jobs give us a day or two off so we can relax, unwind, and refresh. That way, we return as better employees. Why can't parenting be that way, too? Give me a day or two off and I'll come back better than ever!

Who let me be though?

Mom brain is so real, especially when we are in the middle of doing a multistep task. But, raising kids is more than a multistep task—it's a whole lifetime. Who let me become a parent? Someone should speak to them.