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15 Marriage Tweets That Are Seriously Killing Me

Marriage is a great thing. You find someone you love and want to spend forever with and, above all, you make fun of for years. When it comes down to it, marriage really is just laughing at your partner's mistakes and flaws. But, still loving them through it all, and asking them to give you some alcohol to make up for it, too.

And they say romance is dead.

There comes a point in every marriage where your spouse has seen you naked so many times, that your nudes are basically regular photos to them.

Ah, romance, it truly does last forever, right guys?

I mean...

Look maybe she didn't mean that her standards for dating and marrying were low, but the standards for the day-to-day could be pretty low.

Or, maybe it's time to step your game up my guy.

It's the convenience for me.

There is nothing quite like surprising your wife at work to literally only use her company toilet.

Not for nothing, I give this guy an A+ for thinking ahead of the game and also not doing his business in a Starbucks.

Communication is key.

Let's face it, communicating with your spouse is a pretty hard deal.

But, when you've mastered it, you know you have. And, when you have, it's the greatest feeling in the world.

Self awareness is hot.

At least he knows that he is pretty damn quick and is not ashamed to say it.

Plus, he knows his wife is furious, which is another head nod at being pretty self-aware. The solution? Get better at lasting a bit longer, sir.

We'll both die in this bed.

Why is it that men love to let things go and barely talk about it at all?

Problems don't get solved by ignoring them, Fred. We will die in this bed until we talk it through. I promise you that.

Is this an every husband thing?

There has to be some universal truth to this because not only does this Twitter user's husband do this, but mine does as well.

Why must men set alarms they do not get up for? And now, I'm awake, for no reason at all.


Some women take things a bit too literally. Maybe he meant a light slap, but the insults to their lawn care are definitely ones that hit them in the gut.

Never come between a man and his lawnmower, my friend. Never.

Why is this painfully true?

If my husband didn't have me around, he would absolutely run out of underwear and need to go commando to do his laundry to wash all of his underwear.

He would literally die without me and my laundry skills. Just saying.

Might as well teach them young.

If your kids really want to know what marriage is like, have them walk around a grocery store with you and ask them if they really "need" everything that they put into the cart. Solid life lessons.

Yeah, he'll pass on that.

No matter what the conversation is about, men don't want to talk about it.

Could be able BBQing, beer, a basketball game; nope, no conversation needed. They'd rather just grunt and nod. Always the grunt and nod.

If you do it once a day, every day, you're good.

No one loves being right more than someone's wife.

If you let her tell you "I told you so" at least once a day, every single day of your marriage, you will last a lifetime. Trust me on that one.

Let him watch.

If you're asking me, a true husband who loves you will love you even more for not letting that queso go to waste.

Get your finger knuckle deep and swipe that cheese up into your mouth, honey. He better love every minute of it!

Honesty is the best policy.

If you're always honest with each other, there is no room for arguing.

Never a moment where one person feels as though the other person is hiding something. Go on, hurt their feelings, at least you didn't lie!

All bets are off.

TikTok has made it possible for everyone to make a divine fool of themselves.

Parents, especially, who make TikToks with their kids, are the ones who should be laughed at the most. Until death does us part, or until you. do the WAP dance on TikTok.