20 Funny Tweets By Women That Are Really Hard To Argue With

Ashley Hunte
Three women sitting on a bench in front of tulips and laughing.
Unsplash | Priscilla Du Preez

I don't know who needs to hear this today, but women are funny. And I swear, the women of Twitter tend to be funny every single day.

Funny enough, at least, that you could make a list of funny tweets made by women to share to the world. And would you look at that? That's exactly what I've done here!

Like walking marshmallows.

I don't know how to explain it, but this is so true. As an adult, they're fashionable. Meanwhile, seeing a kid in a puffer jacket is always kind of funny. They look like cute lil' marshmallows.

Don't show up OR pick up the phone.

Dua really does love telling us what to do in her songs, doesn't she? To be honest, though, you can't really complain about it.

One would think...

I hate how every website has to ask us to accept cookies and stuff. Like, I get why they do, but that doesn't make it any less annoying.

I'd much rather accept real cookies, if you know what I mean.

Some people love to brag.

On the flip side, you whenever they complain about the temperature dipping below 60, you get to make fun of them for having zero tolerance to the cold. Small victories.

Poor, poor French kids.

I once saw an episode of Bob L'eponge (like, SpongeBob in French) and it was honestly kind of terrifying. I feel like French kids are on a whole different level.

Okay, so it's not just me.

And it's always the most random word, too. Like, you'll be asking your partner to pick up TOMATOES at the grocery store and it comes off so much more aggressive than it needed to.

Live, Laugh, Love your way out of here.

I'm not gonna lie, I would be all for a line of those fancy wall plates that have more menacing messages. Give me one that says "go away" in cursive font so I can hang it on my door.

You never suspect the same letter appearing twice.

I want to say that I'm some kind of Wordle genius, but I've been stumped by really basic words before. At least I know for a fact that I'm not the only one out here struggling.

We're trying our best.

This is a pretty good visual representation of when you try to make other people believe you have it all together, but you really don't. We're all one spilled cup of coffee away from a total mental breakdown, I fear.

Just wait until you hit 24.

Okay, but this was also me at 23. Next thing you know, though, you're looking back at 23, thinking about how you were actually super young back then.

We're trying our best, pt. 2.

This is probably slightly better than being in an uncomfortable position but not wanting to move because you know your foot's asleep and you don't want to have to deal with that.

Where are our daily paychecks, hmmm?

The worst thing about being paid every other week is the fact that there are weeks where you don't get paid. I would love a paycheck every week. Or better, every day.

Back when we had $20 in our pocket and a dream in our hearts.

2012 was a simpler time. Smartphones had only just started becoming a thing. Everybody wore skinny jeans and had side parts. Truly the good old days.

It starts sooner than you think.

I'm nowhere near 40 yet, but this is exactly the kind of thing I would do. Especially since really good soup is kind of hard to come by. Gotta spread the love!


As long as you're your parents' child, you're always going to get in trouble for no reason when you visit home. It's practically the law.

Same thing, really.

Two sworn enemies is just two best friends but they make fun of each other sometimes, and you can't change my mind on that. Still an interesting podcast premise, though.

Why are teens always so old in the movies?

I think the funniest thing about this is the fact that teens in movies and shows still look like they're 35. Us kids never stood a chance.

No one knows you better than your bank.

I'm laughing so hard at this because it's so strangely relatable. I'm sure everyone's banks are exhausted with the weird shopping habits we've all adopted.

"I will do better in the future."

I've never encountered somebody who talks like this in real life, but it absolutely sounds like the kind of thing people in LA say. Are... are they okay?

You never see it coming.

You could even have a period tracker and still be surprised. I guess somehow never being able to expect it comes with the territory.