With the holiday period having drawn to quite a dramatic close as the new decade roars into life (see what I did there, like the roaring ’20s?) a lot of people have had to return to the world of work with their hangovers in reluctant tow.
Much like the 1920s, the holiday season was full of heady optimism, naivety, and far too much alcohol, as it is every year. So, if you’re still feeling the sting from the holiday period, then here are 14+ boozy memes for people still nursing holiday hangovers.
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Man Seeking Bagel
It truly is a tragic love story as old as time itself. Nothing works to quell the angry tirades of a hangover quite like a black coffee and a cream cheese bagel.
Land Ho
Being drunk is essentially like reverting to a more child-like state of glee and optimism. And, since everyone wanted to be a pirate at some point of their childhood, this is a perfectly natural thing to do.
*Shocked Gasps*
“I knew it was you! You were one step ahead of me all along, but I’ve finally caught up with you, just as this hangover has caught up with me!”
“What Are You?!”
I think that this is actually how David Attenborough started out his career narrating nature documentaries.
Designated Driver
People who say “I don’t have to drink to have a good time, have clearly not been to enough family parties.
It’s My Natural State
This sort of natural excitement can really get you into trouble, especially if you work as a funeral director.
Morning Person
There’s something about seeing someone with a large black coffee and sunglasses on first thing in the morning that screams, “Leave me alone or I will vomit on you.”
Goes Down Smooth
I think of all the whiskeys, and the one with the lowest morals is Bell’s. Bell’s whiskey really leaves a lasting impression on a person.
The Problems Of Age
The first time you get a hangover that lasts two days can be a big turning point in your life. Things will never be the same again.
Slip And Slide
Just because it is a storm drain doesn’t mean it can’t be two things! (Please don’t actually use storm drains for this…)
*Various Karate Noises*
I wonder how many broken noses on the planet have been the result of people falling over when drunk. I would absolutely love to know that probably terrifying statistic.
Wyd?
Ah, alcohol. Never before has one thing caused such devastation to people’s inboxes between the hours of 1-4 a.m.
*Hiccups*
“Heay… Dave… yous gotch to stry this fermented *hic pumpkiln juice!”
“…Sure okay.”
Oh, Go On Then!
It’s almost as if people who are too drunk to think can’t comprehend why they do not need another drink.
It’s Basic Economics
I do wonder how I always crumble so easily under this exact sort of pressure.
The Odds Are Not In Your Favor
It’s sometimes better just to say, “I’m going to get drunk,” then if you don’t get drunk, at least you’ve done better than you expected.
Emergency Supplies
Well, you’ve got to celebrate the little things sometimes, like Tuesdays I guess.
It’s Just Good Business
Oh boy, this one hits very close to home. I dread to think how much of my student loan went to buying rounds in bars that were far too expensive for us to be in.
I’ve Made A Huge Mistake
Nobody is ever “fine” in the morning. Hoping that you will be fine in the morning is like hoping that you’ll be getting to work via unicorn.
I’m Too Tired
If anything will sort out that tiredness, it’s incredibly sugary cocktails and Jäger bombs — but hot damn, you’ll feel every single one in the morning!
No Shots?
Look, if someone offers you a shot, you’d best have a damn fine reason as to why you’re not doing it. It’s like turning someone down for a handshake.
How Far Is My House?
It can be hard remembering where you live sometimes, even if you’re already there.
How Many Is Too Many?
“Okay…so is it more than, say, 10?”
“Yeah, I’m just gonna head somewhere else.”
Where Are You In Life?
If only there was a way to do both! If you choose the kids’ option, you just have to wait for them to be old enough to drink and make getting drunk a family occasion!
Nature’s Finest Specimen
Add in getting a ludicrously sized meat feast pizza from the dirtiest takeout place available and that’s spot on.
The Name Of Our Hero Is… You!
Except, hearing these stories is much more terrifying as you’re just waiting for the moment that they reveal how many people you messaged.
I Need My Distance Glasses
That late-night takeaway always feels like such a good idea until the heartburn in the morning kicks in.
You Fool!
Well, you know what, body? I do not need reminding like that! Just send me a letter or something next time.
It’ll Be Fine!
Everyone has that one friend who can seemingly drink what they want and be fine in the morning. Christ, I wish I was that friend instead of the friend who crawls into Starbucks the morning after one bottle of wine.
Logic 101
Science never lies! You know the saying, “If something seems too good to be true, then it’s what you should do!”
At least, I think that’s how it goes…
