Yup, you read that right. Bird poo facials. Snails. Vampires. There’s a whole host of new and new-to-us beauty routines out there, and we have all the details on what random things people are doing to make themselves beautiful.
Guys, it’s time to get weird.
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Vampire Facials
Celebs like Kim Kardashian have all tried out the Vampire Facial, which involves drawing your blood and then having the PRP extracted from it. The PRP is then injected or used as a cream. So. That’s a thing.
Milk Sprays and Baths
Again, this is a tale as old as time.
Milk has been long-touted to be rejuvenating for your skin. It has fatty acids in it that help repair and hydrate your skin.
If you can stand to spray a mixture of milk and water on your face a few times a day, it’ll help.
Bull Sperm Conditioner
California, you’re wild.
A salon there offers a Bull Semen hair treatment, and the worst part is that it actually works. The semen helps strengthen and nourish your hair…but god, at what cost? ($7, it’s a very reasonable $7.)
Snake Venom Cream
That’s right, there’s anti-aging cream on the market that contains active snake venom. It’s supposed to freeze your facial musicals.
Sounds sketchy. Sign me up.
Gold Face Masks
I know we’ve all seen face masks that look gold, but they’re just artifically colored. It turns out that there are actual, 24k gold leaf masks out there that costs over $300.
It’s supposed to improve your skin’s elasticity, reduce wrinkles and renew cells. Not to mention, it makes for a great Instagram selfie.
Blood Moisturizer
Much like the blood facial, the blood moisturizer uses your own blood to create a product for your skin.
In this case, the plasma and white blood cells are separated. The plasma then made into a serum for your skin. If you have $1000+ laying around to pay Dr. Barbara Sturm, that is.
Placenta Facials
Whether it’s sheep or human, people are using the stem cells from placentas to turn back time.
As it turns out, placenta stem cells contain anti-aging properties. So…there’s a few uses for that spare placenta you have laying around, I guess!
Vagina Steaming
This procedure is relatively simple, compared to the others. It simply involves squatting over steaming water that contains an array of herbs. No one’s clear what exactly it does — some report that it helps with dryness, while others use it for tightening. Hey, if it’s good enough for Gwyneth Paltrow and Chrissy Teigen…
Caviar Treatments
If you’ve got the money, they’ve got the caviar.
Caviar facials can cost up to $1200, but they also offer your skin tons of anti-aging benefits. Among them is brighter skin, which is always a plus.
Bird Poo Facials
Also called a “geisha facial” (but maybe don’t use that one), this one involves…rubbing bird poop on your face. Not just any poop, though!
It must come from a Japanese bush warbler, or a nightingale.
It’s actually an ancient Japanese technique that WILL help your skin, due to the poop’s high urea concentration. However, it’ll cost you about $200 a facial. Yikes.
Human Tears
Yup, some people believe that crying helps your skin. And you know what? It actually does — a little. This isn’t something you should seek out, but if you’ve had a good cry, it won’t hurt your skin to leave you tears where they are.
Hemorrhoid Cream Eye Treatment
Beauty gurus have been touting this one for years.
Hemorrhoid cream actually does help with inflammation, especially under your eyes.
But here’s the thing: do not do this. Getting that cream in your eyes will hurt like crazy. Maybe skip this one.
Evian Baths
Are you Serena Williams? Do you have $5000? Then go ahead and hop in an Evian bath, because apparently it will “purify the senses” and “revitalize the skin.” Idk, I guess I could go to Costco and dump a bunch of Evian water in my tub?
Penis Facials
So…here’s the thing… this is real. And it’s worse than you think.
This facial involves using the skin from a baby’s circumcision (you know, the stuff they cut off) to make a serum that you put on your face. I am not okay with this! Thanks.
Red Wine Baths
Another treatment that actually works? Red wine baths! It’s not as simple as dumping a bottle of wine in your tub and calling it a day, but you can visit speciality spas that provide the experience.
For a price. Or…you can follow a DIY recipe for much cheaper. Up to you.
Fruit Toothpaste
Listen, I’m definitely about to do whatever Catherine Zeta-Jones tells me to, so I guess I’m going to the grocery store to get some strawberries. Why? Because the juice of them is good for brushing on your teeth, according to her.
Snail Facials
So, snails.
You seem them on the ground, and you think–“hey, that should go on my face.” Right? Sure! Because, as it turns out, snail slime is great for your skin. I’d recommend a mask vs just slopping snail slime on your face, though.
Coffee Ground Scrub
Coffee: it’s for more than just drinking.
Full of antioxidants and good for exfoliating, coffee ground scrubs are an easy DIY that you can do for cheap. You can also make face masks and even hair treatments!
Bee Venom Masks
Bee venom? Bee venom.
Whether it’s in a mask or a lotion, bee venom has been reported to have significant anti-aging benefits for your skin. It reportedly helps reduce the appearance of fine lines — but it’s going to hurt.
Leeches
So, here’s how this works: a leech is placed on your face, and the blood they extract from you is then smeared all over your face. It’s anti-ageing.
Miranda Kerr has the treatment done, and then keeps the leeches as pets.
Ruby and Diamond Facials
Not only can you wear rubies and diamonds, but you can have them rubbed all over your face, too. Mila Kunis has this $7k procedure done, where crushed up precious stones are scrubbed into your skin like an exfoliator.
Ear Wax Primer
Guys, ew. I tried not to be super “that’s nasty” at some of these, but this one takes the cake.
Apparently, some people use their ear wax as a makeup primer, because it’s natural?
I…please don’t do this. Buy primer.
Bee Stings
Kinda worried about Gwyneth Paltrow, guys.
Apparently, she actually has herself stung by bees, because “It’s thousands of years old treatment called apitherapy. People use it to get rid of inflammation and scarring.” Don’t do this.
Toothpaste
One common beauty misconception is that you can use toothpaste to dry out some pesky acne. Not only is this a bad idea, it actually will damage your skin.
Be careful out there, y’all.
