Imagine spending nearly 21 years of your life caring for a severely autistic child, sacrificing your social and romantic life, and putting your career on hold. Now, imagine your ex-husband, who barely helped with your child, suddenly reappearing and offering to help. In this emotional rollercoaster of a story, our protagonist, a 48-year-old woman, finally sees a chance to live her life and pursue her career abroad when her daughter turns 18. But will her support groups understand her decision, or will they lash out at her for leaving her daughter in a group home while she enjoys her newfound freedom? Let’s dive into her story and find out!
A Mother’s Struggle: Autistic Daughter
The Ex’s Exit: Divorce and Disappearance
Single Mom Struggles: Career and Caregiving
Working Mom Woes: Juggling Life and Autism
Unsolicited Advice: The Struggle for Help
Reality Check: The Truth About Assistance
A Change of Plans: Daughter Turns 18
The Ex Returns: Offers of Help
Career Opportunity: Working Abroad
New Arrangements: Ex Steps In
Financial Support: Sending Money
Group Home Placement: A New Chapter ️
Criticism and Concerns: Support Group Backlash
Living Life: Finally Enjoying It
Ex’s Response: New Chapters for Both
Autism, Exes, and New Beginnings: A Mother’s Dilemma ️
After years of sacrificing her own happiness to care for her severely autistic daughter, our heroine finally sees a chance to live her life when her ex-husband reappears and offers to help. With her daughter placed in a group home, she pursues a long-awaited career opportunity abroad, finally enjoying her job and social life. But her support groups aren’t too happy about it, claiming she needs to stay in the US to keep an eye on her daughter’s caregivers. Meanwhile, her ex-husband moves on with his life, refusing to check on their daughter and stating they’re both starting new chapters. So, is our protagonist in the wrong for wanting to live her life, or should she have stayed in the US to keep a watchful eye on her daughter’s care? Let’s see what the internet thinks of this heart-wrenching situation…
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Nurse encourages mom to prioritize herself without abandoning daughter.
Hiring a visitor to check on daughter? Good idea
Pediatric PT praises mother for raising daughter and finding her appropriate care.
You’ve done everything possible, ignore the haters
Special needs mother expresses support for mom’s decision to choose herself.
Heartbreaking reality of some parents abandoning their children
Hiring a weekly visitor can prevent abuse in care facilities
Wanting to live your life is valid but visit your daughter
Parent of an autistic child shares similar experience and offers support
Encouraging reply, suggests group home could be good for daughter
Former group home worker advises OP on finding a good home and maintaining contact with daughter.
Supportive comment reminds mother to prioritize her own needs and desires ❤️
A reminder to protect vulnerable individuals from potential abuse
Suggests visiting autistic daughter regularly and hiring visiting service
Breaking free from the constant caregiver cycle and finding a way to meet both your and your child’s needs is terrifying to some, but it’s time to enjoy life!
Heartbreaking comment on the struggles of a single mom.
Don’t abandon your daughter, pay someone to visit instead
NTA, but daughter deserves to be on priority list
Direct support professional encourages balance between self-care and daughter’s needs
Supportive comment from a fellow parent of autistic child
Offering practical advice for a difficult situation
Hiring weekly care for daughter can ensure her well-being ❤️ NTA
Choosing to prioritize oneself is valid. Support groups aren’t gospel.
YTA for leaving daughter in care and not visiting her
Difficult decision: leaving autistic daughter for personal growth. Mixed feelings.
Parenting is hard but sacrificing your child’s needs is not okay
Neglected autistic daughter in group home, ESH with bad karma
Choosing yourself after 21 years of sacrifice is understandable. Hoping for occasional visits
Heartbroken father expresses dismay at mom abandoning her autistic daughter.
Ex’s move away leaves autistic daughter behind. ESH.
Parenting is a lifelong responsibility, even when living abroad.
Leaving autistic daughter in group home and moving away – cold? ♀️
Balancing personal freedom and responsibility as a caregiver
Candid and relatable comment on the unrealistic expectations of self-care.
Planning for the future is tough, but necessary ✌️
Compassionate suggestion for mom’s situation
Parent of autistic child supports OP’s decision to prioritize self-care
Difficult decision for mom, but daughter needs a guardian
Mixed feelings expressed over mother’s decision to leave autistic daughter
NTA – OT and caregiver burnout is prominent in disability community
Supportive comment encourages mother to prioritize her own happiness.
Sibling offers tough love to mom choosing to move away.
Stay close to your daughter for a better life, YTA/NTA.
Mom stands up to support groups and claims NTA
Suggests a compromise for mom leaving autistic daughter, empathizes with pain.
Controversial comment receives no replies or upvotes
Heartbreaking comment condemns mother for leaving autistic daughter.
Leaving her daughter, but YTA only if no visits. Suggests solutions
Tag-teaming with terminally ill brother for just 1.5 hours? OP’s NTA
A scathing comment calling out all sides, no holds barred.
Group homes may not be safe for daughter, consider other options
Deadbeat dad returns for money, accuses mom of neglect. ♂️
Choosing a group home for long-term care: Is it better?
Choosing yourself after years of sacrifice is not monstrous.
Harsh criticism for a mother who left her autistic daughter.
Hiring a proxy can help you stay involved in care.
Empathetic comment encourages considering daughter’s needs and wants
Caregivers deserve to prioritize their own well-being sometimes
Heartless comment on mother abandoning autistic daughter
Raising kids on the spectrum is a whole nother level of hard
Choosing a new home for her daughter was a tough decision, but a necessary one for her own well-being. NTA
Support groups criticized for not understanding mother’s difficult decision.
Empathizing with a difficult decision in caring for an autistic child
Balancing personal needs with care for autistic child
Assessing daughter’s quality of life is crucial – any updates?
Moving abroad and visiting once in two years makes you TA
Encouraging words for a mother’s tough decision
Parenting comes with sacrifices, but abandoning your child isn’t okay
Ex demanding mileage payment to see his daughter? NTA, obviously.
A possible solution for the daughter’s care in Germany
Supportive comment suggests self-care and offers practical advice.
Choosing yourself doesn’t make you an a**hole, but neglecting your daughter does
Choosing self-care as a full-time caregiver is valid
Choosing yourself after 21 years of sacrifice is not selfish
Safeguarding options for daughter suggested in a supportive tone
Concerned commenter suggests professional care and visits for disabled adult.
Autistic adults can have fulfilling lives in care facilities. NTA.
Heartbreaking story of a mother’s sacrifice for her disabled son ❤️
Mother’s difficult decision to prioritize herself receives support
Difficult decision, but hope daughter is well taken care of.
Balancing self-care and family responsibility is important.
Choosing to transition to group home can be beneficial long-term. Support groups can be toxic and it’s important to make your own choices.
Parenting is a tough job, and sometimes tough decisions.
Breaking free after 21 years of sacrifice. NTA for choosing self-care.
Hiring an advocate to keep tabs on home and meet the gaps
Choosing oneself after 21 years of sacrifice is understandable ♀️
Prioritizing self-care doesn’t make you a bad parent.
Choosing yourself is not selfish. NTA. Stay in touch
Choosing self-care over caregiving – NTA.
