When you’re in a position that carries a history of traditional authority such as a pastor or a teacher, it can be easy to adopt the long-standing traditions of your profession without examining them.
After all, they worked for the people who came before, right?
But the more opportunities that the public at large has to question whether these traditions actually have the merit attributed to them, the more opportunities those who have been following them have to re-evaluate their policies and values over the years.
And one widespread policy that’s been the subject of a great deal of debate in recent years are the dress codes that authorities impose on children. Lately, they’ve attracted criticism both for being overzealous and for setting double standards between boys and girls.
That discussion has clearly made an impression on one youth pastor, who recently made a splash with a heartfelt public apology.
In a lengthy Facebook post, Pastor Bryce Brewer reflected on what he described as a “ridiculous ultimatum” he’s given girls at summer camp throughout the last 20 years.
This ultimatum required that girls bring only one-piece swimsuits to camp, which he is now seeking to apologize for.
He broke this apology down into five parts, the first of which expressed his regret for not teaching boys to control themselves around female campers.
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As he also said, “I am sorry I laid the weight of purity on a girls swimsuit while she was swimming, and not on the boys responsibility to not be gross.”
He also came to realize what kind of task he was requiring, saying, “I am sorry to all the girls that frantically searched for an appropriate one piece so that some male youth pastor could deem them appropriate.”
This part of the apology was apparently informed by his own struggles to find a one-piece he deemed appropriate for his fianceé’s daughter, which seemed to be a difficult and frustrating experience.
He further apologized for the inconsistency of framing women’s bodies as something that needs to be covered while not doing the same for men’s bodies.
Finally, he said, “I am sorry I ever let this be an item of discussion, usually lead by men, at any youth leader meeting … this must have been awful for my female leaders and students to be part of.”
Instead of getting this specific about dress codes, he has since decided that the “produce rule” is sufficient.
As he explained, this means “no buns, bananas, or breasts need to be seen.”
But he’s also found himself wondering why so many seek to treat stomachs the same way and more to the point, “Why are women meant to feel they are responsible for men’s actual sin of lust?”
And so following a further apology, he came up with a series of revised directives.
As he put it, “Female students – Wear a swimsuit that lets you have fun.
“Male students – stop being disgusting and control yourself
“Youth pastors (male especially) – stop being chauvinist and making female students feel bad for having breasts
“Christians – live like Jesus.”
His Facebook statement has attracted an enthusiastic (if mixed) response with some users tutting about modesty and at least one apparently thinking that he’s suggesting girls can wear swimsuits to church.
However, he also attracted many responses from those who pulled their children out of religious school for similarly overzealous dress codes.
In the words of one person, “Boys and men both need to be taught that a girl’s body is not shameful or disgusting. Furthermore, it is not there for your entertainment.”
h/t: Facebook | Bryce Brewer
