Marriage isn’t like it used to be.
In addition to millennials getting married later than the generation before them, some are choosing not to get married at all.
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Call it the missing bride gene or something else. Or, you could hear from the women themselves. Here, they share why they aren’t interested in getting married .
They don’t trust men
Plain and simple. Many women shared that they don’t trust men not to cheat on them, leave them, or treat them like crap. Getting married would lead to a lot of worry about whether they’ve made the right choice.
It won’t change anything
“For me it just doesn’t make any difference. I’m not religious at all, and I believe that the relationship between me and my partner won’t change with a piece of paper that we will sign. The only reason we might get married is because of tax benefits.” – u/ cornualpixie
They’re too much of a mess
In the mental sense, they mean. One woman wrote that if she was less of a mess, maybe she would be interested. But for now, she feels as though her boyfriend would get sick of her if he was obligated to see her personality every day.
They don’t want to live with someone
“I have so much peace and freedom once I chose to be single and it’s very hard to change that. Even if I really liked the person, the idea of having anyone in my space and my business all the time just stresses me out.” – u/ croptopweather
The wedding industry is a big ripoff
Many women believe that a lot of money goes into an event celebrating a piece of paper. Flowers, alone, cost thousands of dollars. Just imagine the bill once you add in a venue, wedding dress, food, and entertainment.
They’re not convinced it makes their life better
“I really do not understand why some women believe they were born to be a wife and that’s all there is to life. My happiness, success, and overall wellbeing in life does not derive from being in a legally bound relationship with someone.” – u/ conversehightops
They’re afraid of commitment
Let’s be real: marriage is one of the biggest commitments there is. If you’re not feeling someone anymore, you can’t just have a clean break. There are papers to sign, finances to potentially separate, and even more complications when kids are involved.
They don’t know any good men
“I can count the number of good men I know on one hand. Consistent let downs have lead me not to trust them for anything long term. They are unreliable and emotionally unintelligent.” – u/ Significant_Lion_112
It can ruin finances
It’s not surprising that children of divorce are more hesitant about marriage. One woman shared that she saw her dad ruin her mom financially when she left him. It was legal for him to take all of the money out of their joint account.
It’s a legal contract that has roots in slavery
“Marriage in the past was the transfer of ownership over a woman from father to ‘husband.’ I’m not in the stone age anymore, I’m a liberated woman that is nobody’s property.” – u/ npcgoat
They’ve heard too many marriage horror stories
If you hear about a haunted house, are you likely to go inside? Nope. The same goes for marriage; a lot of people have seen and witnessed some terrible things that make them unlikely to walk down the aisle.
They don’t care to “keep up with the Joneses”
“I don’t have a lot of money or family or friends, and I like the idea of our relationship being a choice that we make every day. Cementing it in stone just feels like some antiquated cultural thing. If he acts up I can just leave.” – u/ jogglepoggle
They’re a lawyer
Ever wondered why most doctors don’t smoke? It’s because they see, firsthand, what smoking can do. The same goes for lawyers and marriage; they see what a bad marriage and divorce can do to a person and steer clear.
They learned from their parents
“I saw my parents’ 30-year marriage. Then the 2-year protracted divorce process – while necessary – was even worse. My mom was the primary earner and primary parent in an abusive marriage. She walked away with about 25% of the marital assets after being cheated on.” – u/deleted
50/50 isn’t really 50/50
As one woman wrote, “women still take on disproportionally more emotional labour and mental load.” Men are still the ones more likely to work outside the home, be the financial provider, and do less of the chores.
They don’t want their love to be rooted in a contract
“I want it to be because when we wake up each morning, we choose each other. And when it gets difficult, we work together and get through it. I feel like being married changes your perception because there’s a sense of obligation that comes with it.” – u/ Norythelittlebrie
They don’t want to fix what isn’t broken
This is essentially the reason Goldie Hawn gave for not marrying Kurt Russell. They’re happy as they are, so why ruin that? One Redditor shared the same sentiment, writing that they don’t want to lose the spark and that their boyfriend is basically their husband.
There’s too much paperwork
“If the husband/wife runs up debt, you’re also on the hook for that debt. Husband/wife didn’t pay taxes, they can garnish your pay. I have an issue being in a position where I maybe liable for you should there be any.” -u/ geri73
They’ve already been married before
“I am 33 and I have been married twice and I will never do it again! I will never let a man feel like they own me ever again. I have been with my current boyfriend for around 4 years and he understands this completely.” – u/ melissamarieeee
H/T: Reddit
