Having a vasectomy is a pretty significant moment in the life of any man who has the procedure done. But unlike other significant moments — weddings, birthdays, et cetera — vasectomies haven’t traditionally been the focus of celebrations. But things might be changing.
Vasectomies are increasingly common.
Half a million men in the United States undergo the procedure every year. It’s a good option for men who have decided they don’t want kids, or don’t want any more kids.
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It isn’t a walk in the park, though.
The long-term benefits of having a vasectomy are obvious, but voluntarily agreeing to let doctors snip at your nether regions is a tough sell. And, as Michael Scott taught us, getting one reversed is another level.
Here’s where things take a left turn.
Instagram was a platform pretty much made for sharing cake photos. There are plenty of celebratory cakes to be found — and a more recent trend ties together the disparate topics of male birth control and elaborate baked goods.
A cake is a canvas.
On the top of a delicious cake, the gifter can express any thought or image they want. Increasingly, the topic of vasectomies is showing up on Instagram cakes. It’s even got its own tag, #vasectomycake .
It’s a little weird…
I mean, most men who’ve had vasectomies probably want to rest up, not party. And if they do party, they probably don’t want to do so with a cake covered in sperm cartoons.
But it makes some sense.
Pain and recovery time aside, a vasectomy is a pretty big step for a couple. Deciding you’re not going to have kids moving forward seems like something worth a celebration.
There’s more than one way to make a vasectomy cake.
At the intersection of vasectomies and cutting edge cake technology, you’ll find this little number. The top of this cake has been created using a special printer that uses edible ink and edible rice paper.
It gets the message across.
Some of these cakes are full-blown works of art and deserve to be on one of the sixteen different cake-centric reality shows. Some of the cakes look like this. It isn’t bad, just different.
Vasectomy cupcakes are also a thing.
Anyone familiar with the hyper-competitive world of Insta cakes knows that cupcakes are a good way to make a different visual statement. The no sperm logo here is practically iconic.
Some are a little bit grim.
If someone gave me a cake featuring a tombstone that showed my birth date and the current date, I’d find it a little hard to enjoy said cake. But that’s just me.
Some are more festive.
Bright colors, little action figure thingies and a simple message printed on a storebought white cake? This feels like all of my childhood birthdays rolled into one. Except this is about vasectomies.
Does that sperm have a tongue?
You know, if you draw something with x’d out eyes and “R.I.P” written above it in huge letters, it gets the message across. Adding a tongue (to sperm) is just overkill.
The variety is impressive.
It’s true that a lot of these cakes use the same two or three slogans. But there isn’t really any repetition in the overall visual impact of the cakes themselves.
This is art.
The lines here are so smooth and organic that it might take you a second before you realize you’re just reading a crude pun and looking at cartoon sperm.
Oh, happy day.
I’m not sure how I feel about this one. On one hand, using any fruit that isn’t a banana in this context is pretty original. Then again, it really makes you think about the content of this guy’s sperm.
I don’t want to eat Planters ever again.
For my money, this is the most professionally-done cake in this weird little subgenre. As we’re about to see, things get a lot worse. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
This is inevitable.
With any cake trend, it’s only a matter of time before somebody creates a horrible, disgusting-looking failure — and then posts it on Instagram, because any attention is good attention.
Terrible taste, excellent execution.
You know, I think we’re about done here. Readers, what do you think? Is getting a vasectomy a quiet, reflective milestone, or is it worthy of a full-on rager? Let us know!
