Woman Wonders: Are My Neighbors Avoiding Me Because I’m Asian?

Imagine living in a condo with your partner, only to feel like your neighbors are giving you the cold shoulder. Now, what if you’re the only Asian in a predominantly white community? Would you suspect something more sinister? Meet our protagonist, a 30-year-old Asian woman living with her boyfriend Jim, who can’t help but wonder if her neighbors’ indifference is due to her race or gender.

The Neighbors’ Cold Shoulder

The Silent Treatment

Avoidance or Coincidence?

The Mysterious Text Message

Douglas Spills the Beans

The Unsettling Realization

Douglas’ Shocking Reaction

A Boyfriend’s Support

The Plan Going Forward ️

Is It Just a Misunderstanding or Something More?

Living in a predominantly white neighborhood, our protagonist can’t shake off the feeling that her neighbors are giving her the cold shoulder. Despite her friendly gestures, they seem to only acknowledge her boyfriend, Jim. When a mysterious text message from the neighbors lands on Jim’s phone, it leads to an unsettling realization. Could they be avoiding her because of her race or gender? While their friend Douglas dismisses the idea, Jim stands by her, ready to confront the neighbors. What do you think of this situation?

NTA at all. Douglas, being neither a woman nor (I assume) a person of color, has a lot of nerve lecturing you about things he doesn’t experience.

NTA for questioning racism; supportive BF helps confront ignorant neighbors

NTA. Possible racism. Be polite, don’t go out of your way.

NTA: Neighbors avoiding communication, possibly due to racism.

NTA. POC share experiences of being treated differently due to race

NTA. Racism sucks. Supportive comment with acknowledgement of difficulties.

Denying racism perpetuates it. White fragility and ignorance must be addressed.

“NTA I don’t see why that it would be a far fetched assumption. Some posters said it could be they just don’t like you but it doesn’t seem the couple have made the effort of getting to know you either, or even giving you the time of day.”

Trust your instincts, it’s not mean to consider racism

Is it racism or something else? The cold interactions say it all.

NTA: White dude’s audacity to whitesplain is hilariously ignorant

“NTA. The way they react when you’re nice to them or when you offered them help are the bright red signs that read racist that all little POC kids are taught about. I remember I went into family dollar with my white friends. I’m black. The girls went on about their business in the store but an employee followed me everywhere I went in the store. When I went to pay they stopped. Went in with the same group of friends a week later and the same thing happened. They didn’t get followed though. I was confused to I asked my mom and she had to explain yet again that some stores aren’t to keen on black people shopping in them. So I stopped going. I was 8. That wasn’t my first experience with racism and it won’t be my last.”

“Wow. Good call. You’re right. We all grew up with stories like this…

I’m sorry you have dealt with experiences like this. I know mine are not as bad as yours, but hearing your story makes me feel less crazy and alone. Thank you for sharing.”

Neighbors dislike her for being Asian. No reasons needed.

Neighbor conflict resolved amicably. NTA wins the day!

“NTA. And they are definitely racist. To me this is one of this things where I hate it when people automatically discount your impression. That is bullshit. So let me put it this way: The couple = a**holes. Douglas = a**hole. Your BF? Seems like he isn’t backing you either = a**hole.”

NTA. Neighbor’s sus behavior and texting BF crossed the line.

Douglas’s defensive response to racism accusation sparks heated debate.

NTA wonders if neighbors are racist, suggests distancing or staying oblivious.

Stand up for your girlfriend! You’re NTA for considering it.

Is it racism or fear of harassment? Interesting perspectives!

Racist couple and Douglas: Not the a**holes.

NTA suspects racism, but it could be anything. Who knows?

NTA: Speculation of bigotry, neighbor’s denial, and lack of acknowledgement.

Neighbors’ behavior indicates they have an issue with you

Neighbors’ racism/sexism: NTA feels excluded

Rising anti-Asian sentiment: Unmasking hidden racism during the pandemic.

Neighbor ignores my Ethiopian fiancee, so I refuse to help

“Ignoring me because I’m Asian? Sexist, racist, or both?”

White privilege and racism debated in neighborly dispute.

Friend’s phobia of Chinese people, husband excluded from social events. NTA.

Neighbor’s bizarre behavior towards Asian woman sparks discrimination suspicions

NTA, assuming it was about race. Anti-Asian sentiment on rise

“NTA, you’re right about racism. Sorry you’re dealing with that “

Standing up against racism and sexism. NTA for calling them out!

NTA. Maybe they have random reasons for treating you differently.

Neighbors’ racism confirmed, NTA for calling them out.

NTA wonders if neighbors avoiding her due to Asian heritage

Could it be racism or just a misunderstanding?

NTA. Controlling neighbors fuel racism and sexism. Exotic temptress?

Neighbors avoiding Asian woman in elevator sparks racial suspicion

Sexism and racism: similar experiences, different perspectives.

Similar experiences of racism and denial of discrimination.

Racist neighbors? NTA, trust your instincts and confront them.

Calling out racism sparks a spade of defensive reactions.

Non-white person shares experience of discrimination, advises taking action

NTA. Discrimination sucks. Stay away from toxic neighbors.

Neighbor’s refusal to acknowledge racism raises eyebrows

Asian woman experiences cold treatment from neighbors, suspects racial bias

Rare form of blindness/deafness/muteness triggered by sexism and racism?

Stand up for yourself and confront them. You’re NTA!

NTA suggests clever way to expose neighbors’ avoidance ️‍♀️

Boyfriend missed an opportunity to call out neighbors’ ingratitude.

Racist and sexist neighbors? NTA, you deserve better! ❤️❤️❤️

NTA. Check out this tiktok that relates to the situation!

Validating POC’s experiences of racism and microaggressions

“Certain behaviors are targeted, and if you aren’t the target…”

Neighbor’s anger at obvious conclusion? Not the a**hole (NTA)

“Assuming nice people can’t be racist? Let’s debunk that myth!”

NTA Douglas overreacted, shocked by neighbors’ ugly skeleton. Hope he comes around.

Diverse friendships enrich our lives and challenge our perspectives.

NTA. Racism is often subtle and goes unnoticed by others.

Neighbors’ racism towards Asian woman, confirmed by comment author. NTA

NTA: White people learn to accept discomfort and listen

Engaging experiment to test neighbors for racism.

Commenter expresses anger and supports the Asian woman’s perspective.

NTA. Experience with bigotry and well-informed opinions on interracial dating.

NTA: Is racism at play? Boyfriend’s race may be factor.