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Young Student Faces Family Backlash for Refusing Custody of Nephew: Selfish or Self-Preservation?

by Diply Social Team
2 years ago
in Family
Reading Time: 16 mins read
A A
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A 21-year-old full-time university student finds herself in the midst of a heart-wrenching family drama. With her sister’s substance addiction spiraling out of control, her 6-year-old nephew is at risk of being placed in foster care. The family, however, has other plans. They want our young protagonist, dubbed ‘Reluctant Guardian’, to step up and take custody of the child. But is she ready to sacrifice her education and young adulthood for a responsibility she feels ill-prepared for? Let’s dive into her story.

A Life-Altering Request

Image credit: throwawayacct2953 | throwawayacct2953
throwawayacct2953 | throwawayacct2953

The Family’s Solution: Pass the Buck

Image credit: throwawayacct2953 | throwawayacct2953
throwawayacct2953 | throwawayacct2953

Reluctant Guardian’s Dilemma: Youth Vs Responsibility

Image credit: throwawayacct2953 | throwawayacct2953
throwawayacct2953 | throwawayacct2953

Fear of Resentment: A Child’s Innocence at Stake

Image credit: throwawayacct2953 | throwawayacct2953
throwawayacct2953 | throwawayacct2953

The Emotional Support: A Mother’s Plea

Image credit: throwawayacct2953 | throwawayacct2953
throwawayacct2953 | throwawayacct2953

The Backlash: Accusations and Guilt Trips

Image credit: throwawayacct2953 | throwawayacct2953
throwawayacct2953 | throwawayacct2953

The Reality Check: Limited Resources, Heavy Burden

Image credit: throwawayacct2953 | throwawayacct2953
throwawayacct2953 | throwawayacct2953

The Age Clarification: Not a Baby, But a Child

Image credit: throwawayacct2953 | throwawayacct2953
throwawayacct2953 | throwawayacct2953

The Mother’s Stubbornness: Refusal and Degradation

Image credit: throwawayacct2953 | throwawayacct2953
throwawayacct2953 | throwawayacct2953

The Hypocritical Brother: Accusations Without Action ‍♂️

Image credit: throwawayacct2953 | throwawayacct2953
throwawayacct2953 | throwawayacct2953

The Child’s Current Situation: Living in Danger ️

Image credit: throwawayacct2953 | throwawayacct2953
throwawayacct2953 | throwawayacct2953

The Legal Hurdle: A Temporary Custody Petition

Image credit: throwawayacct2953 | throwawayacct2953
throwawayacct2953 | throwawayacct2953

The Legal Loophole: Avoiding Checks and Balances ⚖️

Image credit: throwawayacct2953 | throwawayacct2953
throwawayacct2953 | throwawayacct2953

The Moral Dilemma: A Difficult Decision

Image credit: throwawayacct2953 | throwawayacct2953
throwawayacct2953 | throwawayacct2953

The Final Question: Selfish or Self-Preservation?

Image credit: throwawayacct2953 | throwawayacct2953
throwawayacct2953 | throwawayacct2953

Caught in a Tug of War: A Young Woman’s Struggle Between Family Duty and Personal Growth

Our ‘Reluctant Guardian’, a 21-year-old university student, is caught in a whirlwind of family drama, guilt, and accusations. With her sister’s substance addiction threatening her nephew’s safety, the family turns to her to take custody. But with her life dedicated to her education and her own mental stability in question, she bravely turns down the responsibility, causing a storm of backlash. Accused of being selfish and even blamed for potential tragic outcomes, she stands her ground. Is she the villain for refusing to take on a responsibility she feels unprepared for, or is she a victim of her family’s unwillingness to step up? Let’s see what the internet has to say about this emotionally charged situation…

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NTA. Valid reasons. Authorities unlikely to give custody. Hypocritical guilt-tripping.

Image credit: nan1ta | nan1ta
nan1ta | nan1ta

NTA. Don’t let others guilt you into taking responsibility

Image credit: vanael7 | vanael7
vanael7 | vanael7

NTA. Family expects you to take responsibility, but you’re not ready.

Image credit: PharmD_ | PharmD_
PharmD_ | PharmD_

NTA. Family pressures student to care for nephew, but it’s unfair.

Image credit: Flablessguy | Flablessguy
Flablessguy | Flablessguy

Family pressures student to take custody of nephew.

Image credit: DoctorJudgeJimothyMD | DoctorJudgeJimothyMD
DoctorJudgeJimothyMD | DoctorJudgeJimothyMD

Choosing not to be a parent: self-preservation or selfishness?

Image credit: WolfGoddess77 | WolfGoddess77
WolfGoddess77 | WolfGoddess77

NTA. Seek advice on r/JustNoMIL or r/raisedbynarcissists for support

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

NTA: Don’t let guilt-trips force you into unwanted responsibility.

Image credit: RiverSong_777 | RiverSong_777
RiverSong_777 | RiverSong_777

NTA, family pressures young student to sacrifice future for nephew.

Image credit: kreeves9 | kreeves9
kreeves9 | kreeves9

NTA: Stand up for your boundaries and make your own choices.

Image credit: Kittytigris | Kittytigris
Kittytigris | Kittytigris

Sexism in custody dispute? NTA. Brother is full of sh*t.

Image credit: Frito67 | Frito67
Frito67 | Frito67

NTA – Don’t sacrifice your future for your family’s delusion.

Image credit: nickis84 | nickis84
nickis84 | nickis84

NTA. Empathy for OP’s difficult situation with family dynamics.

Image credit: ElizaCat9 | ElizaCat9
ElizaCat9 | ElizaCat9

NTA. Toxic family situation. Time to move out and prioritize self-care!

Image credit: awkwrdcherries | awkwrdcherries
awkwrdcherries | awkwrdcherries

NTA. Foster parents can provide a loving home. Keep ties!

Image credit: AntiquePangolin | AntiquePangolin
AntiquePangolin | AntiquePangolin

NTA: Responsible and logical decision-making amidst family backlash

Image credit: amber_bam | amber_bam
amber_bam | amber_bam

NTA. Family expects too much. School and child are incompatible.

Image credit: Chuckfrommars | Chuckfrommars
Chuckfrommars | Chuckfrommars

NTA: Mom wants free childcare, she’s TA, not you!

Image credit: surprise_b1tch | surprise_b1tch
surprise_b1tch | surprise_b1tch

Refusing custody is self-preservation, not selfish. NTA!

Image credit: TayNec12 | TayNec12
TayNec12 | TayNec12

Family offers help but turns their heads? NTA, screw them!

Image credit: urg- | urg-
urg- | urg-

Empathetic support for refusing custody: You’re not in the wrong

Image credit: kathulhurlyeh | kathulhurlyeh
kathulhurlyeh | kathulhurlyeh

NTA: You’re mature for realizing the child deserves better

Image credit: Inconsistentme | Inconsistentme
Inconsistentme | Inconsistentme

NTA. Toxic mom wants to trap you. Feel sorry for kid.

Image credit: Catfactss | Catfactss
Catfactss | Catfactss

No obligation to take custody, but child’s well-being is crucial

Image credit: Advanced-Lobsterr | Advanced-Lobsterr
Advanced-Lobsterr | Advanced-Lobsterr

“We MUST do the best for this child!” – NTA

Image credit: UnDeadPuff | UnDeadPuff
UnDeadPuff | UnDeadPuff

NTA. Stand your ground and don’t take responsibility for your nephew.

Image credit: Bug_a_boo_Mama | Bug_a_boo_Mama
Bug_a_boo_Mama | Bug_a_boo_Mama

NTA. Parents unrealistic expectations for broke student’s custody of nephew.

Image credit: Namedmycatmoomoo | Namedmycatmoomoo
Namedmycatmoomoo | Namedmycatmoomoo

“NTA

Wow…your mother really went all in on the guilt trips. I mean, I think at the point where you’re at I’d probably just start going in with my own. Like, ‘you’ve already raised two daughters, what’s one more child? Are you worried he’ll turn out like his mother due to your parenting? Are you really that unskilled? Surely someone with your experience would be the better care giver, surely?’

Seriously you clearly have oodles of other family, but they don’t want to do it because it would be an imposition on them and you’re considered expendable I guess.”

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

NTA. Family criticizes you for not taking custody, but won’t either.

Image credit: dontcallmeheather | dontcallmeheather
dontcallmeheather | dontcallmeheather

Kid suffers, but you’re still NTA.

Image credit: buffyxenaman | buffyxenaman
buffyxenaman | buffyxenaman

Supportive comment: Age doesn’t determine ability to make responsible decisions.

Image credit: moldrixx | moldrixx
moldrixx | moldrixx

Family mad you won’t do job they don’t want. NTA

Image credit: craig_prime | craig_prime
craig_prime | craig_prime

NTA – Family pressures student to adopt nephew, guilt-tripping included

Image credit: ju4791 | ju4791
ju4791 | ju4791

Not the a**hole for refusing custody of nephew.

Image credit: tcsweetgurl | tcsweetgurl
tcsweetgurl | tcsweetgurl

Family criticizes student for refusing custody of nephew.

Image credit: G8RTOAD | G8RTOAD
G8RTOAD | G8RTOAD

NTA. Don’t let yourself be bullied into taking on that responsibility.

Image credit: Castal | Castal
Castal | Castal

Not the a**hole for refusing custody? Let’s discuss!

Image credit: auntieB367 | auntieB367
auntieB367 | auntieB367

NTA. Stand your ground and challenge them to adopt him.

Image credit: dembowthennow | dembowthennow
dembowthennow | dembowthennow

NTA: Time to spread your wings and fly!

Image credit: aclockworksmorange | aclockworksmorange
aclockworksmorange | aclockworksmorange

Supportive comment validates feelings and suggests moving away for peace

Image credit: TheYoungAcoustic | TheYoungAcoustic
TheYoungAcoustic | TheYoungAcoustic

NTA- Not your kid, not your responsibility.

Image credit: CrSkin | CrSkin
CrSkin | CrSkin

NTA. Stand your ground, let them take responsibility.

Image credit: EnterTheMunch | EnterTheMunch
EnterTheMunch | EnterTheMunch

NTA- Sister’s selfishness puts nephew’s life at risk.

Image credit: PheonixRising21 | PheonixRising21
PheonixRising21 | PheonixRising21

NTA. Foster care could be an option. Stand your ground!

Image credit: littlefang303 | littlefang303
littlefang303 | littlefang303

NTA! OP’s mom guilt-trips and creates false dilemma. Stay strong!

Image credit: awkwardly_competent | awkwardly_competent
awkwardly_competent | awkwardly_competent

NTA, prioritize long-term stability and stand up to family pressure!

Image credit: rlb199779 | rlb199779
rlb199779 | rlb199779

Moving out with SO for self-preservation

Image credit: MelG146 | MelG146
MelG146 | MelG146

NTA for refusing custody of nephew while in uni

Image credit: Aesient | Aesient
Aesient | Aesient

NTA. Family voluntold you to be single mom. Shockingly entitled.

Image credit: fuzzyfuzzyfungus | fuzzyfuzzyfungus
fuzzyfuzzyfungus | fuzzyfuzzyfungus

NTA for refusing custody. Offer to help brother find new place.

Image credit: Tall-on-the-inside | Tall-on-the-inside
Tall-on-the-inside | Tall-on-the-inside

NTA. Student’s limitations make them unsuitable for nephew’s custody.

Image credit: cassowary32 | cassowary32
cassowary32 | cassowary32

NTA: Stand your ground against hypocritical family members!

Image credit: dessertandcheese | dessertandcheese
dessertandcheese | dessertandcheese

Heartbreaking situation with a touch of dark humor.

Image credit: Obsesswithjess00 | Obsesswithjess00
Obsesswithjess00 | Obsesswithjess00

No other family available. Oldest brother has a kid already.

Image credit: buffyxenaman | buffyxenaman
buffyxenaman | buffyxenaman

NTA – Wise decision. Half-assed help is worse than no help.

Image credit: gilded_lady | gilded_lady
gilded_lady | gilded_lady

Family pressures student to take custody of nephew while studying

Image credit: nolechica | nolechica
nolechica | nolechica

NTA. Don’t sacrifice your life for a child you can’t care for.

Image credit: coolmommytm | coolmommytm
coolmommytm | coolmommytm

Refusing custody? They’re the a**holes, not you!

Image credit: NiktoriaNo | NiktoriaNo
NiktoriaNo | NiktoriaNo

Family criticizes student for refusing custody. NTA, they’re hypocrites!

Image credit: BigOlHoe | BigOlHoe
BigOlHoe | BigOlHoe

NTA: You’re not selfish for refusing custody. Your mother should take responsibility.

Image credit: earthtoeveryoneX | earthtoeveryoneX
earthtoeveryoneX | earthtoeveryoneX

Family’s lack of responsibility puts nephew’s life at risk.

Image credit: joepanda111 | joepanda111
joepanda111 | joepanda111

NTA. Family drama: refusing custody and facing backlash.

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Heartbreaking comment on irresponsible parenting and its consequences.

Image credit: AutumnRain789 | AutumnRain789
AutumnRain789 | AutumnRain789

Escape the drama and live your best life with your boyfriend!

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Putting yourself first is not selfish, it’s self-preservation.

Image credit: SioraiDragon | SioraiDragon
SioraiDragon | SioraiDragon

NTA. Stand up for yourself and create a healthier environment.

Image credit: booplydooply2 | booplydooply2
booplydooply2 | booplydooply2

NTA. Don’t let emotional blackmail stop you from pursuing your dreams.

Image credit: Curtisziraa | Curtisziraa
Curtisziraa | Curtisziraa

Putting the child’s needs first

Image credit: goldengracie | goldengracie
goldengracie | goldengracie

“NTA – Your mother’s demands are outrageous and hurtful. “

Image credit: Signature_Sea | Signature_Sea
Signature_Sea | Signature_Sea

NTA, family upset over custody, seek alternative support options.

Image credit: Ok-Pass-8511 | Ok-Pass-8511
Ok-Pass-8511 | Ok-Pass-8511

NTA – Family guilt-trips you for refusing custody. Flip it back!

Image credit: TOGTFO | TOGTFO
TOGTFO | TOGTFO

Choosing self-preservation over family responsibility? NTA

Image credit: PlainISeeYou | PlainISeeYou
PlainISeeYou | PlainISeeYou

NTA. Don’t let others dictate your future. Live your own life!

Image credit: tea_n_cake | tea_n_cake
tea_n_cake | tea_n_cake

Escape the manipulation and take control of your own life!

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

“NTA. Enjoy your life and let your mother find a solution.”

Image credit: NCKALA | NCKALA
NCKALA | NCKALA

21-year-old student refuses custody of nephew: Who’s responsible?

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

NTA. Hypocritical family. Time to move out and be free!

Image credit: As_It_Was_Foretold | As_It_Was_Foretold
As_It_Was_Foretold | As_It_Was_Foretold

Family’s gender bias forces young student to refuse custody.

Image credit: athiestfullofsarcasm | athiestfullofsarcasm
athiestfullofsarcasm | athiestfullofsarcasm

Mom assumes responsibility for nephew, but OP’s education comes first.

Image credit: Mera1506 | Mera1506
Mera1506 | Mera1506

Flip the script: NTA stands up to hypocritical family members.

Image credit: Jorojr | Jorojr
Jorojr | Jorojr

NTA: Break free and prioritize your own emotional well-being.

Image credit: sadlandlordde | sadlandlordde
sadlandlordde | sadlandlordde

NTA – Family wants glory without doing the job.

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Family criticizes you for not wanting to raise nephew.

Image credit: Glasgowghirl67 | Glasgowghirl67
Glasgowghirl67 | Glasgowghirl67

“NTA. You’re not responsible for creating those circumstances. “

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perhensam | perhensam

Concerns over child’s safety in custody dispute spark heated discussion

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NTA. Live your own life and enjoy it!

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[deleted] | [deleted]

“NTA. Social services may refuse custody. Your family’s double standards.”

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MagicianNew | MagicianNew
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