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Caretaker Sister Wants Out: Abandonment or Desperate Need for Freedom?

by Diply Social Team
2 years ago
in Family
Reading Time: 11 mins read
A A
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Imagine being only 25 and having spent nearly a decade raising your younger siblings as your own children. That’s the reality for one young woman who finds herself at a crossroads. After their father died and their mother spiraled into addiction, she stepped up to provide a stable home for her brother and sister. Now, with a new fiancé and the prospect of starting her own family, she’s struggling with the decision to pass the torch back to her now-sober mother. But is she being selfish, or does she deserve a chance at her own life? Let’s dive into her story.

Becoming a Mom at 16

Image credit: uhnonblonde | uhnonblonde
uhnonblonde | uhnonblonde

Homeless and Struggling

Image credit: uhnonblonde | uhnonblonde
uhnonblonde | uhnonblonde

Stepping Up for Her Siblings

Image credit: uhnonblonde | uhnonblonde
uhnonblonde | uhnonblonde

Mom’s Shiny New Life

Image credit: uhnonblonde | uhnonblonde
uhnonblonde | uhnonblonde

No Financial Support

Image credit: uhnonblonde | uhnonblonde
uhnonblonde | uhnonblonde

Court and CPS Fears

Image credit: uhnonblonde | uhnonblonde
uhnonblonde | uhnonblonde

A New Chapter: Engagement

Image credit: uhnonblonde | uhnonblonde
uhnonblonde | uhnonblonde

The Dilemma: Space and School

Image credit: uhnonblonde | uhnonblonde
uhnonblonde | uhnonblonde

Fiancé Offers Solutions

Image credit: uhnonblonde | uhnonblonde
uhnonblonde | uhnonblonde

Desire for a Fresh Start

Image credit: uhnonblonde | uhnonblonde
uhnonblonde | uhnonblonde

Grandma’s Disapproval

Image credit: uhnonblonde | uhnonblonde
uhnonblonde | uhnonblonde

Fear and Love

Image credit: uhnonblonde | uhnonblonde
uhnonblonde | uhnonblonde

Sister’s Reluctance

Image credit: uhnonblonde | uhnonblonde
uhnonblonde | uhnonblonde

Grandma’s Verdict

Image credit: uhnonblonde | uhnonblonde
uhnonblonde | uhnonblonde

Choosing Between Siblings and a New Life

Our protagonist has spent years sacrificing her own life to care for her siblings. Now, with a chance at happiness and a new family, she’s torn between her responsibilities and her own desires. Her grandmother accuses her of being selfish, but is she really? After all, she’s given up so much already. It’s a heartbreaking dilemma, and one that’s sure to spark debate. Let’s see what the internet thinks of this situation…

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NTA for wanting freedom from abusive parentification. Siblings need support.

Image credit: LorianGunnersonSedna | LorianGunnersonSedna
LorianGunnersonSedna | LorianGunnersonSedna

NTA but abandoning traumatized siblings may have long-term consequences. Seek legal and emotional advice.

Image credit: Hurricane74mph | Hurricane74mph
Hurricane74mph | Hurricane74mph

OP is exhausted from raising siblings but cannot abandon them.

Image credit: rich-tma | rich-tma
rich-tma | rich-tma

Caretaker sister struggles with parentification and needs legal intervention

Image credit: -Fadomai- | -Fadomai-
-Fadomai- | -Fadomai-

Plan for siblings to move out, but get official custody first.

Image credit: Admirable-Marsupial6 | Admirable-Marsupial6
Admirable-Marsupial6 | Admirable-Marsupial6

NTA, but leaving the kids may have long-term effects

Image credit: Midnightnox | Midnightnox
Midnightnox | Midnightnox

Empathetic comment supporting abuse victim’s decision to seek freedom ❤️

Image credit: Tiffy_the_Doc | Tiffy_the_Doc
Tiffy_the_Doc | Tiffy_the_Doc

NTA. Commenter takes a stand for caretaker sister’s freedom

Image credit: dyinginl_a | dyinginl_a
dyinginl_a | dyinginl_a

Teen caretaker deserves support, CPS and court intervention suggested

Image credit: Freelittlegirl | Freelittlegirl
Freelittlegirl | Freelittlegirl

Lose-lose situation: either abandon kids or put them in danger.

Image credit: TheHiddenMessenger | TheHiddenMessenger
TheHiddenMessenger | TheHiddenMessenger

Commenter defends caretaker sister from being compared to abusive mother.

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

OP is struggling with caretaker fatigue and deserves empathy and support

Image credit: flannelshirt1862 | flannelshirt1862
flannelshirt1862 | flannelshirt1862

Heartbreaking comment raises questions about family’s responsibility

Image credit: Selena385 | Selena385
Selena385 | Selena385

Taking charge of your life: NTA but consider the impact.

Image credit: cheereader | cheereader
cheereader | cheereader

NTA for wanting out of caretaker role, grandma should step up

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

NTA, but morally obligated to find a compassionate solution

Image credit: rlkgriffiths | rlkgriffiths
rlkgriffiths | rlkgriffiths

NTA for feeling the way you do, but ESH depending on how you handle the situation. Consider therapy and alternative options for your siblings’ safety.

Image credit: Physical_Grocery_391 | Physical_Grocery_391
Physical_Grocery_391 | Physical_Grocery_391

Sister wants support, not abandonment, in caring for siblings.

Image credit: Tiffy_the_Doc | Tiffy_the_Doc
Tiffy_the_Doc | Tiffy_the_Doc

Commenter advises caution and legal action in caretaker situation.

Image credit: whatsmyusename | whatsmyusename
whatsmyusename | whatsmyusename

NTA for wanting your own life after being an adult too soon. Can grandma help out?

Image credit: missdaisychain1 | missdaisychain1
missdaisychain1 | missdaisychain1

Fight for your rights! Get legal aid for child support.

Image credit: Quirky_Bumblebee_461 | Quirky_Bumblebee_461
Quirky_Bumblebee_461 | Quirky_Bumblebee_461

Valid to want out, but don’t abandon them with unsafe mom.

Image credit: thatcrankybitch | thatcrankybitch
thatcrankybitch | thatcrankybitch

NTA for wanting to start your life, but involve CPS first

Image credit: Chick4u2nv | Chick4u2nv
Chick4u2nv | Chick4u2nv

Abandoning siblings makes you an ESH, not a hero

Image credit: boomadley | boomadley
boomadley | boomadley

Encouraging comment on seeking legal and financial help for guardianship.

Image credit: Competitive_Tea2413 | Competitive_Tea2413
Competitive_Tea2413 | Competitive_Tea2413

Heartbreaking dilemma: caretaker sister wants freedom but fears abandonment of siblings.

Image credit: yjskfjksjfkdjjd | yjskfjksjfkdjjd
yjskfjksjfkdjjd | yjskfjksjfkdjjd

Caretaker sister wants to leave, but would it make her TA?

Image credit: HearingSword | HearingSword
HearingSword | HearingSword

Compassionate NTA wants to help without enabling homelessness

Image credit: HotAge5962 | HotAge5962
HotAge5962 | HotAge5962

Grandma and mom are TA for not contributing to caretaking.

Image credit: [deleted] | [deleted]
[deleted] | [deleted]

Call CPS to help abused siblings. YTA if you don’t.

Image credit: Master-Opportunity25 | Master-Opportunity25
Master-Opportunity25 | Master-Opportunity25

NTA. Caretaker sister criticizes but didn’t take responsibility. Legal procedures?

Image credit: SourGummyAddict | SourGummyAddict
SourGummyAddict | SourGummyAddict

Abandonment or freedom? ESH. No winners, just poor kiddos

Image credit: gottahavemysay | gottahavemysay
gottahavemysay | gottahavemysay

NTA but dropping them off might hurt your relationship with them

Image credit: Reasonable-Sugar3138 | Reasonable-Sugar3138
Reasonable-Sugar3138 | Reasonable-Sugar3138

NTA. Sacrificed greatly for family. Get a lawyer for support.

Image credit: Tenebrousgent | Tenebrousgent
Tenebrousgent | Tenebrousgent

Leaving siblings behind for freedom: heartbreaking but justified decision.

Image credit: polish-banana-owl | polish-banana-owl
polish-banana-owl | polish-banana-owl

Sibling conflict and wedding woes amidst tough caretaker situation

Image credit: robbini3 | robbini3
robbini3 | robbini3

Commenter sympathizes with burnt-out caretaker sister.

Image credit: Medievalmoomin | Medievalmoomin
Medievalmoomin | Medievalmoomin

Heartfelt comment expressing empathy and concern for OP’s situation.

Image credit: QCr8onQ | QCr8onQ
QCr8onQ | QCr8onQ

Put yourself first for a while Your brother is old enough.

Image credit: Dirtydirtyfag | Dirtydirtyfag
Dirtydirtyfag | Dirtydirtyfag

NTA comment receives no replies, simple and straightforward.

Image credit: Venusbellarosa | Venusbellarosa
Venusbellarosa | Venusbellarosa

Grandma should lend a hand

Image credit: FlyBig7105 | FlyBig7105
FlyBig7105 | FlyBig7105

NTA for wanting to abandon your siblings. But try to see this from your siblings’ perspective, too.

Image credit: YMMV-But | YMMV-But
YMMV-But | YMMV-But

Commenter empathizes but advises against abandoning siblings, YTA.

Image credit: Adulting2020 | Adulting2020
Adulting2020 | Adulting2020

Selfless caretaker sister finally prioritizes her own well-being. #NTA

Image credit: halftherainbow | halftherainbow
halftherainbow | halftherainbow

Difficult decision to send siblings to their mom, ESH situation.

Image credit: SuperAwesomeWTF | SuperAwesomeWTF
SuperAwesomeWTF | SuperAwesomeWTF

Leaving without arranging care is wrong. NTA for wanting out

Image credit: CaffeinatedHBIC | CaffeinatedHBIC
CaffeinatedHBIC | CaffeinatedHBIC

NTA. Contact CPS for support and find a therapist. Best luck

Image credit: cassowary32 | cassowary32
cassowary32 | cassowary32

Commenter sympathizes with caretaker sister and blames family for failures.

Image credit: _sushifreak | _sushifreak
_sushifreak | _sushifreak

NTA for wanting freedom, but seek professional help for next steps. ‍

Image credit: CrowEnvironmental511 | CrowEnvironmental511
CrowEnvironmental511 | CrowEnvironmental511

Balancing concern for sister’s safety with caretaker’s need for freedom.

Image credit: radleynope | radleynope
radleynope | radleynope

NAH comment receives support and clarification from a reply.

Image credit: NachoPeligroso | NachoPeligroso
NachoPeligroso | NachoPeligroso
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